Saturday, July 28, 2012

Sarah and Todd Put On the Whole Armor of God, 
Including the Chick-fil-A® of Righteousness
Luckily, there is no such thing as a Krauthammer bust.
Third-Rate Shooter Kills Only Three

Friday, July 27, 2012

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #401
Wesley W. Harris
"Five hot dogs?  Coming right up!"
Like other slug species, Karl Rove has a deathly fear of salt.
Laura Bush Sez:  "You know, I think George makes 
an easy target."
Her beauty was only skin deep, but her insanity went all
the way to the bone.
In Mitt Romney's world, England is a small island with 
small roads, small houses, and small Anglo-Saxons.
The first stop on Mitt Romney's
 'Remember the War of 1812 
Tour' was 10 Downing Street.
Louie Gohmert Sez:  "Would the media please stop asking 
other Republicans their opinions about my opinions?"
Heretofore he only had to distance himself from his advisers.  
Now he was having to distance himself from himself.
World's Worst Yobs #261
Aaron Blake

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Mitt Romney Confounds Jesus' Teaching, 
Rides Camel Through Eye of Needle
Fearguth's Rules of Order #53
Never ask a gurner if he is uninformed, misinformed,
or disinformed.
Twitter Suffers Massive Outage, World Spared 
Eleventy-Zillion 140-Character-Long 
Premature Ejaculations

Mitt Romney Launching Drone Designed 
to Destroy Hostile British Press

Two Jokes Laughing at Themselves
Mitt Romney believes the way to reduce gun-related violence 
in this country is to change people's hearts.  And the best way 
to do this is to cut taxes, reduce government regulations, and 
put more Mormon missionaries on the streets.
The electronic computer was invented after he was born

 and the Shewee was invented before he died.  
All the prophecies made about him had been 
fulfilled, and so it was time for him to go.
After Rush Limbaugh praised him for saying that guns are 
"the last form of defense against tyranny," Ice-T responded 
by exclaiming, "He's a racist piece of shit!"  Not to worry:
it's just another gun-lovers' quarrel; they'll quickly kiss
and make up.
Chick-fil-A®'s new homophobic sandwich is served 
without a warm bun or special sauce; it's only a 
chicken patty topped with two pickle slices.
"We are holding an Olympic Games, Mr. Romney, 
in one of the busiest, most active, bustling cities 
anywhere in the world. Of course, it's easier if 
you hold an Olympic Games in the middle of 
nowhere, like you did in Salt Lake City in 2002."
"Why are you trying to buy the government, 
Mr. Adelson?"
"I think every billionaire should own
at least one, and the price is right for 
the government of the United States 
at the moment.  And besides, I never 
settle for second best."
Louie Gohmert Said to Have More Hands-On
Experience with Numb Nuts Than Any Other
Teabagger in Congress
The Unexpurgated Bible #79
"Of Mitt Romney it hath been said, 'And he bended 
his tongue like a bow for lies'."
Mitt Romney says he won't be watching his 
$77,731 in 'passive losses' perform at the 
London Olympics.
David Frum wants to build an Alexander Hamilton memorial.
You remember Hamilton:  he was the Founding Father of
the 1% who died in a duel with Aaron Burr.
Rick-fil-A® Demonstrating the Proper Technique
for Eating a Choking-the-Chicken Sandwich
Try this conspiracy theory on for size:  'Gun Manufacturers 
Stage Aurora Shooting to Panic Americans into Buying 
More Guns'.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

One of these gasbags is filled with hot air and the other is
filled with cold.  Can you tell which is which?
Today, we learned that Mitt Romney also belongs to the
Church of Latter-Day Anglo-Saxons and that Barack
Obama doesn't.
James Taranto says he's willing to die to save any girl who is
 worth the sacrifice.  Not necessarily this one, however.
Warm Scuzzies #310
Matt Shea
'Gun Sales Surge in US Following Colorado Shooting': 
the American Death Spiral Accelerates

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Little Known Fact #31
There is only a 1 in 286 chance of sustaining second- or 
third-degree burns from firewalking, while there is a 1 
in 84 lifetime risk of death from riding in a car.
To All Conceal-Carry Believers
Please be advised that James Holmes and his
ilk have significantly upped the ante in the war
 of all against all.
World's Worst Yobs #260
Aaron D. Dyer
Warm Scuzzies #309
Jack Gilchrist
If you don't want to hurt Mitt Romney's feelings, don't 
ask him about his years as CEO of Bain, as governor of 
Massachusetts, and as a Mormon.  You know, don't ask
him about some of the most important events in his life.
Who would sell an AK-47, four handguns,
and several boxes of ammo to this man?
Somebody did.

Monday, July 23, 2012

He was thinking about going out for a chicken sandwich, 
until he saw the headline, "Arkansas Babtist Launches 
'Chick-fil-A® Appreciation Day'," and he lost his appetite.
"There she is, Miss America
There she is, our ideal."

'Temporal Illusion' Appears in Court

AR-15 Praised for Jamming and Saving Lives
Congolese Rebel Group Still Seeking Thieves
Who Stole Office Building

Iraq's War Against the Automobile Continues

Sunday, July 22, 2012

"Whoa!  Is that a cop or a recruiter
for the NRA?"
The Paterno statue's parting gesture seemed rather rude.