Thursday, January 19, 2017

Fearguth will be heading out to sea tomorrow for Jam
Cruise.  Look for him to return online in about a
Dennis Miller Has Vowel Movement on National Television
Rick Perry ‘Regrets’ Calling for Elimination of the Energy 
Department Now That He knows It Does More Than Just 
Wind Up Flipping Monkey Toys
Kent Sorensen thought he would get two years probation,
but, instead, he got 15 months in prison for being
so goddam ugly.
Trump would have finished his inauguration speech sooner,
but he kept getting interrupted by people who thought he
was the Mar-a-Lago receptionist.
Mick Mulvaney, Trump's Budget Director, Balances
Household Budget by Not Paying Payroll Taxes for
Domestic Servant for Five Straight Years

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Something to Consider #4
If Steven King had written The Shawshank Redemption
Warden Norton would have been the hero.
Or as James Lipton might say, "What we've got here is a 
Pillage of Plunder-Monkeys'.
Betsy DeVos is representative of the Trump Administration: 
a bunch of superrich old people who have nothing better to 
do with their time than fuck up the world and then die.
Global Warming Hoax Sets Temperature Record for Third
 Straight Year; James Inhofe Still Holding Snowball He 
Found in Hell
Guns are Objective Despair caused by the breakdown 
of Civil Society where every man must become his own 
policeman in order to stay alive.
Trump Takes Presidential Oath of Office, 
Pants Catch on Fire
Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #88
Mike Peinovich (aka Mike Enoch)
Betsy DeVos Says Guns in Schools May Be Necessary to 
Protect Students from Shark-Surfing Grizzlies with Guns

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Reince Priebus says he can't wait for the Inaugural Parade.
First Illegal Immigrants Arrived in North America 
24,000 Years Ago---10,000 Years Earlier Than 
Previously Thought
Ann Coulter Sez: "I’d rather cut my own liver out with a 
butter knife than go to Trump's inauguration."
[Were Ann to do self-surgery, it would certainly draw a
bigger crowd.]
Boris Epshteyn Doing His 'Little Napoleon' Impression
World's Worst Yobs #376
Walter Olson
Donald Trump Sez: "Bikers for Trump are on their way!"
"Every other day of the week is fine
But whenever Monday comes
You can find me crying all of the time."
Trump Says the Approval Ratings Polls Are Rigged
 by the 65,844,954 Americans Who Voted for Hillary 
in the Rigged November Election
The Trump Whisperer
It Had Been a Hard Brexit Night
Just in Time for the Inauguration!
The James O'Keefe Mugshot Mug
Only $9.95 + S&H!
Tribute Band of Springsteen Cover Band Thinking 
About Pulling Out of Trump Inauguration Party

Monday, January 16, 2017

Mayor Jim Fouts claims that audio clips of him saying
 derogatory things about blacks and women were faked 
by someone who is not undead.
King had a dream. Trump only has tweets.
Who should be the last person in the world to call John
Lewis a 'racist pig'? Gwinnett County Commissioner 
Tommy Hunter, that's who!
Plutonic Friendship
Mike Pence Will Be Sworn In Using 
Ronald Reagan's Family Bible
Trump Attack on John Lewis Sends Trump's 
Etiquette Book Sales Soaring
Baby Nonplussed by Size of Trump's Tweeter
The eight men who are as rich as 3.6 billion poor people
 have built a superhighway through the eye of the needle
 Jesus talked about.
The Martyrdom of Saint Stephen, with Musical 
Accompaniment, to Be Re-Enacted at Trump's 
They say it takes one hour and 15 minutes to put on
Melania's makeup and even longer for Donald's.
"Criticize me one more time and I'll wish you away to the 
cornfields of Iowa!"
"That's right, Director Brennan, Trump says you're the
leaker, not those Russian prostitutes."
This is what Mike Pence looks like when he is 'deeply 
disappointed'.  You should see what he looks like when 
he is 'profoundly saddened'.

Sunday, January 15, 2017

Trump Using Self-Hypnosis to Achieve the Goal of 
Total Transcendental Assholitude
Fake News Network to Provide Fake Coverage of 
Fake Inauguration of Fake President on Fakeuary 20
"The only thing worse than watching Saturday Night Live, 
the worst of NBC and really bad television, is not watching
 Saturday Night Live."
Adjective Refuses to Modify Noun
Home Safety Tip #4
It is unwise to play Hunger Games in the bathroom.
Kellyanne Conways Sez: "Details of my reliance on witchcraft 
and sorcery should be kept secret to protect the public."
Cannabis cannot cure Arachnophobia.  Sorry!
This Looks Like a Job for Leatherboy!
Street Leagle
It's a Kochbook!
Flag Desecration #96