Saturday, September 03, 2011

Adam and Eve Questioning the Existence
of Evangelicals
"Who are all those people under the bus?"
"Obama's base."
Toxic Avenger Applauds President Obama's
Decision to Scrap New Anti-Smog Standards
World's Worst Yoobs #102
Nina Rosenwald
Rude Rhymes #52

Eeew! Balsh

Joe Walsh

Friday, September 02, 2011

Things to Avoid #23
Santorum Jelly
"So, this is what they call an 'Aerial View'.  Technology is
so amazing!  The next thing you know we'll be able to do
 this without wearing headphones."
"If you think I look crazy now, you should see me the way
 Marcus sees me during Lent, without my makeup."
Michele Bachmann had begun to see the light,
 but it turned out to be just another UFO from
 Planet Confuse-a-Gopher. 
Silvio Berlusconi, the Billionaire 
Augustus, and His Roman Dream
"They can put listening devices where they like. They can
tap my telephone calls.  I don't give a fuck.  In a few
months ... I'm leaving this shitty country of which
I'm sickened."
Finland's Lordi Claims Liz Cheney Plagiarized His Own
Memoir While Writing Her Father's; "And She Watered
Down the Harsh Truth about Her Father in the Process,"
Lordi Says
"I'm Lenny Kravitz, and I'm here to
remind you how many animals are
without skins tonight because of
my leather fetish."
Add a bit more hair and a lot more brains and
Matthew Vadum is a dead ringer for

Leon Trotsky.
Did pot ruin Kevin Smith's career?  Or is he just
a full-time asshole with a part-time job as a film
Meghan McCain says that Christine O'Donnell is America's
first 'Fad Politician'.  Meghan needs to get to know her dad
(aka 'The Maverick') a little better, don't you think, before
she starts making historical judgments?
Why is it that some of the children of immigrants, like Joe
 Arpaio (whose parents were from Italy), turn out to be
such immigration opponents and immigrant haters?  
Arpaio is the migrant's migrant, having lived over
the course of his 79 years in Massachusetts, France,
D. C., Las Vegas, Argentina, Turkey, Mexico,
and Arizona.  But, you see, he was always 'legal',
and that's what makes all the difference.
Senator Lieberman Dreaming His Dreamy Dream
 of an Islamist Holocaust
"I wouldn’t have written this book if I was going to run
for the presidency of the United States.”

Perry Announces Tight Knitting Team
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #329
Mike Coffman
Diehard Fan of King James English Has
Authorized Version of the Bible Tattooed
on His Body
Upended Pot Truck in San Jose Leaves No Stoner Unturned
If you're an attention whore, like Kim
Kardashian, you don't wear just any
old getup when you pop in to your
neighborhood organic grocery to
pick up some milk and eggs.

Thursday, September 01, 2011

Muslims Say Cheap 'Made in China' Korans Sold at
 Walmart Full of Typos
Muammar Gaddafi Sez:  "We, that is, Me, Myself, and I,
 are not women and will not surrender!"
Ever wanted to catch a humongous catfish with your bare
hands?  It's called 'noodling' and, yep, in Texas, it's legal.
Come to Texas!
Drive 85 (Legally)!
Waste Fuel!
Die Young!
"Hey, fellow Texans!  Now that it's legal, why not hire a
helicopter, grab your blaster, and hunt up some feral pigs?"
"Dick Cheney, you sexist pig!  I never 'tearfully' admitted
"Hey, Sarah!  Christine O'Donnell
wants to share the stage with you
in Iowa."

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Believing that Michele Bachmann is Jewish would definitely
be anti-Semitic.
Palin/O’Donnell Iowa Event Ascends into Total Chaos
Allen West:  the Man Who Would Be White
Little Known Fact #15
Cal Thomas has a part-time job
embalming embalmers. 
Nazi Salute FAIL
Texas Governor Flashing Gang Sign for
'Perry's Pooves'
Warm Scuzzies #215
The Lynde and Harry Bradley Foundation
Anton Chigurh was more than a little jealous when he heard
Dick Cheney say that his memoir would cause heads to
 explode all over Washington.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

"When it comes to being a dick, nobody will ever
 be bigger than me.  Richard Nixon was only this
big, and he was Vice-President for two terms
under Eisenhower and was elected President
 twice.  Hell, now that I think about it, he wasn't
really a dick at all; he was just a pussy! "
"Being Siamese twins, Rick, is OK by me, but do you have
any idea why God joined us at the pecker?"
Rick 'Hang'em High' Perry has, as the Governor of
Texas, presided over the executions of 234 prison
inmates.  Can any of his opponents in the race for
the Republican presidential nomination match this
record?  Of course not.  But, it should be noted, he
has been sharply criticized by former Vice-President
Dick Cheney for not, at the very least, waterboarding
 them first.
After Atlas Shrugged bombed so badly in U. S. theaters,
Grant Bowler, who played Henry Reardon in the ill-fated
 film, has decided to undergo a sex-change operation and
become an Ugly Betty impersonator who will travel back
 in time for the purpose of assassinating Ayn Rand before
she became an American citizen in 1931.
Amen, Brethren!
Glenn Beck wants to know, "Why are we made to
feel bad for using the word 'Colored'?"  Well,
Glenn, it's like this:  unless you're the Invisible
Man, you are colored.  For instance, you're sort
of a Tea Rose Pink.  So, if everyone is colored,
why would anyone bother to use the word,
'Colored', to label either an individual or
group?  They would only do so if they
believed that the individual or group so
labeled should be viewed and treated
differently (usually as inferior).  Not that
long ago, Americans who had come of age
realized that 'Colored' was a relic from the
era of racial discrimination and segregation
in American history and was retired from
civilized discourse.  Got that?
The GOP's Favorite Crank
Warm Scuzzies #214
Kevin Held
World's Worst Yobs #225
Charles Payne