Saturday, May 09, 2015

The Dimming
"Hey, I don't see anything!"
"Of course not, dummy!  It's a Transparent Agenda!"
Jeb Bush Sez:  “If you want to know who I listen to for
 advice on the best fart jokes, it’s my brother George."
Draw Pamela Geller #4
The Termagant

Friday, May 08, 2015

A Peek Inside David Koch's Closet
The ideal Hell for Geraldo Rivera would be sexting with
Pamela Geller while fornicating with her to all eternity.
Two Police Cadets Accidentally Shot in Gun Safety Class
Some Texas residents had begun to believe that Greg
Abbott was using the Jade Helm 15 story as a smoke-
screen behind which he was secretly preparing for
the Invasion of the Neptune Men.
World's Worst Yobs #328
Steve Deace
The Tucker '48

The Tucker '15
Draw Pamela Geller #3
The Shrew

Thursday, May 07, 2015

No Litterbox Required!
According to those in the know, there used to be 26 
Signs of the End Time.  Pat Robertson wearing 
makeup is now number 27.
If 96% of America's millionaires don't think they're 'rich', 
then the word has been emptied of meaning and should be 
Rich Lowry Says Pamela Geller Doesn't Send Little 
Starbursts Through His TV Screen and Wants Her
 to Shut Up
Three Peas in a Pod 
Pamela Geller
Anjem Choudary
Sean Hannity
Draw Pamela Geller #2
The Harridan
Pamela Geller says blaming her for the Texas shooting 
is like blaming a woman for her own rape.  No, Pamela, 
blaming you for the Texas shooting is like blaming a
 fool for poking a stick into a fire ant mound, or an
imbecile pouring gasoline on smoldering charcoal.
Draw Pamela Geller #1
The Harpy
Testicle-Biting Cop Charged with Second-Degree 
Warm Scuzzies #552
Steve McCraw

Wednesday, May 06, 2015

"It's tunnels, I'm telling you, Walmart tunnels!"
Rictus Miller
Once you've seen one Chaparral High Confederate Emoji, 
you've seen them all.
Dog Suddenly Realizes He Had Chased
This Ball Before
"OOOOk-lahoma, where the wind comes sweepin'
 down the plain!"

Tuesday, May 05, 2015

Texas GOPers Stunned to Discover Entry to Walmart 
Tunnel in the Middle of Louie Gohmert's Forehead
"Sooo, this is Lime Disease."
The Politico Illustrated #40
'Schock goes underground'
Fearguth's Rules of Order #61
When playing Dodgeball with a Giant Panda, it is 
customary to take a bamboo break every 15 minutes.
Asked why he decided to run for president in 2016,
Huckabee replied,  "All the factors said 'No', but
 my hat said 'Go'."
Huckabee Announces 2016 White House Bid, 
with Focus on Belief, Repentance, and Baptism
"Mike Huckabee, come on down!"
City of Los Angeles Sues Wastewater Wells Fargo for
Polluting the Banking System and Fracking Customers
Panera Ditching 150 Artificial Ingredients to Make
More Room in the Bag for the Sandwich
Kirby Kelley invites us to join him in a 
drink to celebrate Cinco de Mayo.
Walmart Tunnels Turning Texas into
Gigantic Ant Farm

The Cheney Sneer must be hereditary.
President Obama is conspiring with Walmart to dupe Texans 
into believing the Jade Helm 15 Conspiracy Theory which is a 
Red Herring intended to mislead Texans into believing that 
Ted Cruz is part of a False Flag Operation designed to mask 
the Invasion of the Mincemeat Pie People.

Monday, May 04, 2015

Chuck Norris Sez:  "I trusted the government and I'm still
older than dirt.  Moral:  don't trust the government!"
"I told Governor Abbott that when you order the takeover
 of Texas, he would be forced to listen to Ted Cruz read,
in his whiny little voice, Green Eggs and Ham for 21 
hours straight.  You should've heard him begging for
Greg Abbott, Communication Facilitator
"I have just crushed two hummingbirds in my fists!  
Are you listening, Hillary?"
Duck Commander Musical Folds After Only Two
Weeks; Critics Say It Was Just a Bunch of Quacks
"Good evening, friends of the Dinner Sanctum. This is 
Raymond, your host. I'm glad you came tonight, because 
our guests insisted on having each other for dinner."
In Texas history, two slogans stand out:  Remember the
Alamo! and No Gestapo in Bastropo!
Doctor Gogol Sez:  "Optimism is overrated.
Yes, it improves persistence but not
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #178
Pamela Geller and Kerry Picket