Saturday, May 05, 2012

"Incoming kitchen sink, sir!"

Sheep-on-a-Stick, This Week Only!

"This old fool must think I'm a highflier like he is."

Sign of the Times #26
Charles Manson and Osama bin Laden do. Why not you?
Warm Scuzzies #291
The Heartland Institute

Media Mogul Conrad Black Leaves Prison, Makes
Room for Rupert Murdoch

Friday, May 04, 2012

"What's with the cowboy flip-flops?"
"I'm headed to the Mitt Romney Rodeo."

"Other than getting Elvis Presley's birthday and John
 Wayne's birthplace wrong, my campaign was almost 
mistake free."
Ted Nugent Doing His Popular John Boehner
 'Weepy Time' Impression
'Too Fat to Fly' Fictional Character Sues Southwest Airlines

Thursday, May 03, 2012

"I have my eye on you at all times, whether you 
know it or not. Think of yourself as a celebrity with 
the only admirer you'll ever need:  the government." 
Looking for a way to make money while 
drinking Red Dog and checking your email?  
There's a way to do it.  Just ask this guy.
Can you imagine anyone---much less Ken Cuccinelli, the 
Attorney-General of the State of Virginia---accepting 
'Defender of the Constitution Really Large Plaque Award'
from the National Rifle Association?   Perhaps, but only
 in a Warner Brothers cartoon of the late 1940s directed
by Chuck Jones. 

Some people don't trust Kathleen McKinley because she has 
to use two hands when she shoots at her local Target.
If you have been thinking lately about 'Going 
Constitutional', don't do it.  That's what JT 
Ready did and five people are now dead as 
a result.
Governor Rick Scott of Florida is such a wimp.  If he were
a real man, he would have approved 'open carry' of 
pocket-sized thermonuclear devices at the upcoming
Republican National Convention in Tampa.
On Thursday, there was the usual Dog Blogging, Cat Blogging, 
and Ferret Blogging.  So he decided to do something that had 
never been done before:  Thursday Sleeping Tourist Blogging.
"Speaking just in terms of logical fallacies, Mr. Lankford, 
I would have to say your forehead is a Slippery Slope 
and your Adam's apple is, well, a perfect example of
the Reductio ad Absurdum."
"How happy life could be 
If all of mankind
Would take the time to take 
the journey to the center of the mind."
[Just so long it's not what's left of
Theodore A. Nugent's mind.]
They say Dennis Prous, Nicholas DiMarzio, and Timothy
Dolan put the fear of the Lord into Count Dracula.  But,
quite frankly, that's really hard to believe.
Warm Scuzzies #290
Drug Enforcement Administration
Despite having Erick Erickson on the payroll, CNN has 
hit a ten-year ratings low.   Like Mitch McConnell 
said the other day, “I don’t even know who Erick 
Erickson is, but he has no audience as far as 
I’m concerned.”
'Murder-Suicide or Assassination: Did Veteran J.T. Ready 
Pay the Price for His Daily Constitutional?'
Russell Pearce Sez:  "JT Ready?  I seem to recall someone 
by that name.  But I remember Ethelred the Unready better."

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #384
Roland Sledge
Big Bigots, Little Bigots #11
Billy Graham
American Schutzstaffel #10

And then, suddenly, and for no apparent reason, Jonah 
Goldberg began to say repeatedly, "Freeze Dried!  
Freeze Dried!  Freeze Dried!"
JT Ready, Ex-Marine and Big Bud of 
Russell Pearce, Shoots Four (Including
 a 16-Month-Old Child) and Then 
Himself in Gilbert, Arizona
"The shirt?  Oh, sure, it cost $990, but look at it this way:
if I wear it 990 times, that's just a buck each, and that's 
pretty darn cheap!"

John Yoo's Face of Pain
Shep Smith Sez:  “Politics is weird …. and creepy, and 
now I know lacks even the loosest attachment 
to anything like reality.”

Pastor Sean Harris Sez:  "Can I make it any 
clearer?  Dads, the second you see that son 
dropping the limp wrist, you walk over there
 and crack that wrist. Man up. Give them a 
good punch. OK?"
World's Worst Yoobs #119
Naomi Schaefer Riley

Wednesday, May 02, 2012

Backyard Treasure Hunter in Indiana Gets Stuck in Hole, 
Says He Had Been Inspired to Dig After Watching 
God's Little Acre, Starring Tina Louise
Mitt Romney may have finally crossed the line 
when he began claiming he had won the 
2008 presidential election.
What Happens When You Have Too Much Bilirubin in You

What Happens When You Have Too Much
Silly Rubin in You
Backslappers with Dirty Faces #5
Alan M. Gottlieb
Newt Gingrich Drops Out of Presidential Race, 
National Day of Schadenfreude Declared

Kansas Hunter Mistakes Pal for Wild Turkey, 
Tries Twice to Drink Him

Tuesday, May 01, 2012

Was Rick Santorum a candidate for the Republican 
presidential nomination, or was he just another 
fanboy of Lindsay Lohan?  Even he wasn't sure.

Former Tim Pawlenty Bagpiper Now Thought to Be Selling 
'John McCain, Foreign Policy Attack Dog' T-Shirts
Romney Spokesman Richard Grenell Resigns Following 
Backlash for Being a Fair-and-Balanced, Openly-Gay 
Sexist Jerk
The main reason Terry Jones wanted to ban Sharia law in the 
United States was because it was the only law powerful 
enough to force to him to convert from being a space
 alien to an earthling.
"Look at the size of my cell phone, for chrissakes!  That should 
tell you that I'm not running for President in 2012.  It's that 
Mormon sackbut player, you know who I'm talking about, 
Mitt Romney."
Mitt Romney Between What Joe Bob Briggs Used to
Call "Dozin' Meskin Bookends"

If Rupert Murdoch is not a fit person to run News Corp., 
where does that leave his soul mate, Arianna Huffington?
Considering a career in 'Lookism'?  If so, you should be 
aware of one of its long-term side-effects.
Bill Nye, the Science Guy, Booed in Waco, Texas, for Saying
 the Moon's Light Is Not Produced by Glow-in-the-Dark 
Green Cheese