Former Onomatologist Dates Loss of Faith to Day He Learned Roy Rogers's Real Name Was Leonard Slye
Visitor to Samuel Beckett Archive Accidentally Steps in Krapp's Last Crap
The Shoes Senator David Vitter (R-LA) Wears When He Needs Better Traction in Blocking FEMA Nominees
Were you to subtract all the war years from American
history, you could tell the story of the Home of the Brave and the Land of the Free inless time than it takes to watch a couple of episodes ofIce Road Truckers on the History Channel.
Recently-Declassified Photograph #11
Condi Rice's 'Inner Alfalfa' Begins to Emerge
"Ménage à trois over at my place at 9:00. I'll furnish the Birditos and cuttlebone, ya'll bring the pumice-kabobs andK-Y® Intrigue™."
Tired of being pushed around? Well, all you have to do is 'push back', as they say. Who knows? You may open the door to a bright new future, or, at the very least, your local convenience store.
Is Paris Hilton's neck as long as it seems, or is she really a cleverly-disguised giraffe with a fondness for small dogs?
Some people can tell the difference between a 'Concern Troll' and
a 'Concerned Troll'. Most can't.
What if tomorrow you were to learn that you will die unless you agree to become one of David Ignatius' chums? How long do you suppose it would take you to start writing your Goodbye Cruel World Address?
Newt Gingrich has your balls in his hands. Imagine what he's going to do next.
History does not repeat itself. What really happens is that we repeat the same mistakes over and over and then historians record them again and again.
"Oh God! My Arm & Hammer Ultramax Deodorant has let me down again!"
“Men kissing each other…it throws me off,” said Joe the Plumber.
Joe the Plumber
Joe the Plumber's Friend
Who's telling the truth: Speaker Pelosi or the CIA? Neither. Who's lying? Both.
Though partisanship be loathesome, it may be what forces, willy-nilly, the Republicans and Democrats to investigate each other in re Bush Administration torture principles, policies, and practices.
Friday, May 15, 2009
GOP Goes Negative on Bo
Will Eek! the Cat Be Next?
"Hello, all you happy people. You know what? I have 2,700 followers on Twitter. When I have 3,000, I may smile. But not until."
We had hoped the difference between the Bush and Obama Administrations would be like night and day. So far, it's been more like night and dusk.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
If Dick Cheney Had Been a Clown, Instead of Vice President
Like Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) says, "Law is a nicety Republicans sometimes cannot afford."
This photograph, provided courtesy of the Obama Administration, shows how prisoner abuse inflames anti-American sentiment. (If you have difficulty seeing it, click on the image to see the bigger picture.)
In the long run, it may prove less dangerous to find a place to stash Gitmo detainees than it will defecated newspaper publishers like Brian Tierney of the Philadelphia Inquirer.
As Jurassic Pork might say, "Free gratis, same as in town."
Even if you no longer know whether Jesus loves you, you can be sure Wubbzy does.
"Remember Seven Days in May, Mr. President? Well, so long as you understand it was just a movie and not how things work in real life, we in the military- industrial complex will get along with you just fine."
Rude Rhymes #11
Fetid Dump
Donald Trump
If one were to name the color of John Boehner's skin, 'Sugar-Smoked Salmon' would be fairly apt.
By refusing to release the detainee abuse photos, President Obama is next in line to learn the hard way that the coverup is always worse than the crime.
Chancellor Merkel had no idea how to muzzle Dick Cheney, either.
Like John Boehner, Countrywide's Angelo Mozilo is a person of color, albeit one not found in the natural world.
“What I like about John Yoo," writes Philadelphia Inquirer publisher Brian Tierney, "is he’s a Philadelphian, he went to Episcopal Academy, where I went to school, and he has a master's touch with makeup."
World's Worst Yobs #96 John Solomon
Paleoanthropologists Discover 35,000-Year-Old Ivory Figurine Representing One of Dolly Parton's Ancestors
If you meet a Schmekus in the park, compliment his 'rough helmet' and slowly walk away.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Smart housewives always reach for the Oust Air Sanitizer as soon as Newt Gingrich stops talking and leaves the room.
"Believe me, guys, unless you've watched one of my press briefings, you've never seen anyone simper like I can."
"Secretary Gates, thank you sooo much for sacking me and letting me out of this goddam hellhole!"
NASA scientists have now determined that most illegal aliens in the United States today are immigrants from the Sombrero Galaxy.
Rude Rhymes #10
Hoary Sluice
Kenny Lewis
Keith Richards knew it was time to hang up his axe when he began to resemble
a Muppet.
Andrea Mitchell and the 2,000-Year-Old Randian make a charming couple, don't you think?