"I sure hope you're not going to make some sophomoric

wisecrack about Condi Rice smacking a spectator in the 

head with one of her balls."

"Certainly not!"

"Why is our President wearing the funny suit?"

"He is offering further proof that John McCain 

is a racist."

"Me, a hothead?  Not on your life!"

The urban battlefield was littered with the spent rounds

 of violent video games.

"Chief, we coulda swore it was Bonnie and Clyde!"

Dubya's Narcissus Is Not an Expert on Showerheads,

 but He Stayed at a Holiday Inn Express Last Night

Oxymorons for Our Time #148

Pure Politics

"Ya know, Iggy, I think we've been poodle-ized."

"I think you're right, Bowie."

Rand Paul to Give SOTU 'Tea 

Party' Reply, Loudly at First in

a High Register and Then

a Little Less Loudly in a

Low Register

Dubya's The Bather

Alessandra Mussolini Waving 'Hi!'

to Silvio Berlusconi

As had been prophesied, the Republican

 Savior arose from the tomb.

Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #139

George Bush and His Inner Frenchman

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #468

Kevin Swanson

John Goedde (R-ID) wants high school seniors in

his state to pass a test based on their reading of 

Atlas Shrugged.  What would constitute a correct

answer on such a test hasn't yet been determined.

But it doesn't matter so long as they to grow up

to be Republicans.

"Is waterboarding torture?  Compared to watching me 

testify before the Senate Committee on Intelligence,

 it isn't!"

It's either good news or bad news, depending

 on your phylum.

Old Man Dreaming of Dental Prophylaxis

Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #138

Let's assume that the Second Amendment to the Constitution 

of the United States forbids the national government from

 infringing on your right to keep and bear arms. So, OK, 

you have the right:  does this mean that you either 

(1) must or (2) should exercise it?

Can you imagine anyone who would require

 people like Jared Loughner, 

James Holmes,  

or Adam Lanza to undergo 

background checks?

"And who forgot to put a zipper in the world's largest

pair of jeans?  Not me!"

Still Life with the Arnolfini Wedding, Wooden Shoes, a Small 

Furry Dog, and the Head of Jared Loughner Rendered 

Phrenologically 

Some people never learn the difference 

between talent and genius.

Vlad the Inhaler Says He Doesn't

 Recall Ever Campaigning Against

 the Ottoman Empire; But He Might

Have; He Just Can't Remember

"My book on the financial crisis of 2008 will be this

thick and only I and my editor will ever read it from

cover to cover."

For some reason, the Three Stogies never made it 

big in Hollywood.

The Legacy of Rocky & Bullwinkle & Friends

Lives On

Iam Nottahack, Governor Chris Christie's Physician,

 Assures Him That Each Pound above 250 He Gains 

Will Extend His Life by Five Years

Rare Chameleon Species Eats Only Shrooms

Inspiration for Department of Justice Drone

Memo Found in Script of South Park

'Volcano' Episode

After Thaddeus McCotter (R-MI) walked off the 

public stage, Shadrack McGill (R-AL) assumed

his role as the Republican lawmaker with the 

most inherently ludicrous name east of 

the Mississippi.

Some are saying Beyoncé's cover of 'Bad

 as Iguana Be' was the highlight of the 

Superbowl halftime show.

Recently-Declassified Photograph #34

President Deploys the Argumentum Ad Baculum

Lindsey Graham Says Obama's 'Drones' Are Highlights 

of His Presidency; Says He Wouldn't Mind Having a 

Pair Himself

Bill O'Reilly Latest Victim of 

'Lack of Respect' Epidemic

In terms of body language, this expression

on John Brennan's face is called

'Drone Strike'.

"Ma'am, I can use either a Republican Transvaginal

Probe or a Democratic Topical Ultrasound.  Which

would you prefer?"

Marco Rubio to Deliver GOP Response to SOTU 

First in His Normal Voice and Then in a Kind of 

Silly High-Pitched Whine

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #467

Todd Kincannon

"Whaddya mean you don't like

my iguana?"

"You can only see me because you've been 

injecting heroin!"

Sometime in the dim, dark past, it had been

 believed that they had a government of 

laws, not of men.  Now it was neither:  

it was a government of memos.

World's Worst Yobs #277

George Weigel

Tom Corbett, Space Cadet

With the departures of Sarah Palin and Dick Morris, Dick 

Cheney began to wonder if Fox News was still worth watching.

Fox News Casts Dick Morris into Outer Darkness,

Where There Is Weeping and Gnashing of Teeth