Saturday, February 09, 2013

"I sure hope you're not going to make some sophomoric
wisecrack about Condi Rice smacking a spectator in the 
head with one of her balls."
"Certainly not!"
"Why is our President wearing the funny suit?"
"He is offering further proof that John McCain 
is a racist."
"Me, a hothead?  Not on your life!"
The urban battlefield was littered with the spent rounds
 of violent video games.
"Chief, we coulda swore it was Bonnie and Clyde!"
Dubya's Narcissus Is Not an Expert on Showerheads,
 but He Stayed at a Holiday Inn Express Last Night
Oxymorons for Our Time #148
Pure Politics
"Ya know, Iggy, I think we've been poodle-ized."
"I think you're right, Bowie."
Rand Paul to Give SOTU 'Tea 
Party' Reply, Loudly at First in
a High Register and Then
a Little Less Loudly in a
Low Register
Dubya's The Bather
Alessandra Mussolini Waving 'Hi!'
to Silvio Berlusconi

Friday, February 08, 2013

As had been prophesied, the Republican
 Savior arose from the tomb.
Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #139
George Bush and His Inner Frenchman
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #468
Kevin Swanson

Thursday, February 07, 2013

John Goedde (R-ID) wants high school seniors in
his state to pass a test based on their reading of 
Atlas Shrugged.  What would constitute a correct
answer on such a test hasn't yet been determined.
But it doesn't matter so long as they to grow up
to be Republicans.
"Is waterboarding torture?  Compared to watching me 
testify before the Senate Committee on Intelligence,
 it isn't!"
It's either good news or bad news, depending
 on your phylum.
Old Man Dreaming of Dental Prophylaxis
Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #138
Let's assume that the Second Amendment to the Constitution 
of the United States forbids the national government from
 infringing on your right to keep and bear arms. So, OK, 
you have the right:  does this mean that you either 
(1) must or (2) should exercise it?
Can you imagine anyone who would require
 people like Jared Loughner, 

James Holmes,  

or Adam Lanza to undergo 
background checks?
"And who forgot to put a zipper in the world's largest
pair of jeans?  Not me!"
Still Life with the Arnolfini Wedding, Wooden Shoes, a Small 
Furry Dog, and the Head of Jared Loughner Rendered 
Some people never learn the difference 
between talent and genius.
Vlad the Inhaler Says He Doesn't
 Recall Ever Campaigning Against
 the Ottoman Empire; But He Might
Have; He Just Can't Remember
"My book on the financial crisis of 2008 will be this
thick and only I and my editor will ever read it from
cover to cover."
For some reason, the Three Stogies never made it 
big in Hollywood.
The Legacy of Rocky & Bullwinkle & Friends
Lives On
Iam Nottahack, Governor Chris Christie's Physician,
 Assures Him That Each Pound above 250 He Gains 
Will Extend His Life by Five Years
Rare Chameleon Species Eats Only Shrooms
Inspiration for Department of Justice Drone
Memo Found in Script of South Park
'Volcano' Episode
After Thaddeus McCotter (R-MI) walked off the 
public stage, Shadrack McGill (R-AL) assumed
his role as the Republican lawmaker with the 
most inherently ludicrous name east of 
the Mississippi.
Some are saying Beyoncé's cover of 'Bad
 as Iguana Be' was the highlight of the 
Superbowl halftime show.
Recently-Declassified Photograph #34
President Deploys the Argumentum Ad Baculum
Lindsey Graham Says Obama's 'Drones' Are Highlights 
of His Presidency; Says He Wouldn't Mind Having a 
Pair Himself
Bill O'Reilly Latest Victim of 
'Lack of Respect' Epidemic
In terms of body language, this expression
on John Brennan's face is called
'Drone Strike'.
"Ma'am, I can use either a Republican Transvaginal
Probe or a Democratic Topical Ultrasound.  Which
would you prefer?"

Wednesday, February 06, 2013

Marco Rubio to Deliver GOP Response to SOTU 
First in His Normal Voice and Then in a Kind of 
Silly High-Pitched Whine
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #467
Todd Kincannon
"Whaddya mean you don't like
my iguana?"
"You can only see me because you've been 
injecting heroin!"
Sometime in the dim, dark past, it had been
 believed that they had a government of 
laws, not of men.  Now it was neither:  
it was a government of memos.
World's Worst Yobs #277
George Weigel
Tom Corbett, Space Cadet
With the departures of Sarah Palin and Dick Morris, Dick 
Cheney began to wonder if Fox News was still worth watching.
Fox News Casts Dick Morris into Outer Darkness,
Where There Is Weeping and Gnashing of Teeth