Saturday, January 16, 2016

Donald Trump vs. Ted Cruz is a pretty entertaining flick,
but it can't hold a candle to Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah.
Oregon Militiaman Kenneth Medenbach Building Dream
 House Out of Discarded Refrigerators, Water Heaters and 
Other Such Material
Remember the kid in school nobody liked? The jocks didn't 
like him, the nerds didn't like him, the girls didn't like 
him. Well, that's Ted Cruz.

Friday, January 15, 2016

Former Oregon Bird Sanctuary Renamed
 'National Dildo Refuge'
In case you've forgotten, one of the World's Worst Jobs
is being a dungbagger for the GOP mascot.
Flag Desecration #88
Fans of Trumpzilla say they have a thing for being
dominated by a billionaire in a rubber suit.
Mama told Fearguth to stop playing those Ultimate 
Spinach albums, but did he listen?
Marco Rubio Said to Be in Stable But Guarded Condition
 After Lindsey Graham Announces Intention to Endorse
Jeb Bush
Sean Penn Denies Persistent Rumors That He's Morphing
into Hard Drinkin' Lincoln
Little Jebbie Unwrapped by Short-Fingered
Vulgarian in GOP Debate
Remember that 'giant sucking sound' Ross Perot made
famous back in '92?  Well, now we know where it 
came from.
"And I have to tell you, despite that very insulting statement 
about New York Ted made, I did NOT bite his head off."
Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #127
The House of Staring Daggers
Better Dead Than Ted
"Dial it back, Brat, I'm the one who's supposed to be
barking mad!"
Carly Fiorina Still Pissed Bill Clinton Never Made
a Pass at Her
Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #166
In a manly effort to increase his wanker cred and to keep 
his losing streak intact, Lindsey Graham has decided to 
endorse Jeb Bush for President.

Thursday, January 14, 2016

Commander Cruz Endorsed by Suck Dynasty
Ben Howe wants to cut funding to the National Institutes
of Health because the only remedy they've found for 
baldness is using rat ejaculate as hair tonic.
Why would this good ol' boy from Texas borrow $500,000
from New Yawk City?
Where Kale Chips Come From
Mike Huckabee wanted to go mano y mano with Ted
Cruz, but the Religious Right had turned away its
Some said Trump had laryngitis.  Others said he had a
Nikki Haley stuck in his craw.
"Well, boys, I reckon this is it --- nuclear combat toe-to-toe 
with the Mooslims!"

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

World's Worst Yoobs #161
M. G. Oprea
"As they say in Cuba, baby, 'You're juicier
than a Fruta Bomba!'"
"Best of all, it was only $10.88 at Walmart."
Governor Slip-Up's Race Problem
David Brooks was never quite the same after he was 
brutally criticized for brutalizing the brutal Ted Cruz.
Cleverly disguised as an American flag
at half mast, Kim Davis almost smiled
during Obama's final State of the Union
Donald Trump's 'Whistle Ass' Comedy Routine Makes
Jimmy Fallon Laugh
No, Governor Nikki Haley's jaws had not been wired shut 
before she delivered the GOP response to President
Obama's SOTU address.  Instead, she had tried to 
masticate a Sugar Daddy and it got stuck to her
teeth and the roof of her mouth.

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

James Millay, heroin trafficker, wants to thank
Paul LePage, Governor of Maine, for calling
him Smoothie and believing he impregnates
young, white girls on his days off.
Trump Campaign Goes Micrographic
Trump Has Started Playing 'Born In The USA' at Rallies 
to Taunt Americans
If you've ever doubted that power corrupts, take a look at
these faces and doubt no more.
Pick Up Line Used by Rupert Murdoch on Jerry Hall: 
"My face isn't nearly as rubbery as Joe Lieberman's."
What Senator Cruz Is Pointing Out Today #30
A Catfishectomy