Saturday, December 08, 2018

The Uranus Examiner has ceased publication, forced 
out of circulation by prudish Missourians who didn't
 know our English word, 'Uranus', is the transliteration
 of the Greek word, 'ouranos', which is translated as 
'Heaven' 268 times in the King James Version of the
 Holy Bible.
The Parting of Commander Bonespur and the General
Was Such Sweet Sorrow
France Wants Trump, Trump Loves France
It Ain't Over Till the Special Counsel Sings

Friday, December 07, 2018

Heather Nauert Believed to Be
Stimulus for Creation of 
Malibu Barbie Doll
Coincident with Trump's nomination of Heather Nauert 
as Ambassador to the United Nations, the position has been 
downgraded from cabinet-level to blond wasteland-level.

Thursday, December 06, 2018

Fox Business Network Apologizes for the
Anti-Semitic Ravings of Tyler, Texas's 
Adventures in Aestheticism #126
World's Worst Yobs #402
Peter Pry
"We don't dislike democracy," howled the wolves, "that
 good little lamb; we even love it: nothing is more tasty
 than a tender lamb."
Who's 'we', Papal Nuncio to the New York Times?
When they were shown charts and graphs which
displayed a 'hockey stick' spike in the national debt
 in the not-too-distant future, they responded, “Yeah, 
but we won’t be here."
"Isn't that Joe Manchin, the conservative, pro-coal 
Democrat?" asked Ron Obvious.
The Unexpurgated Bible #165
And Hannity said, "Go and search diligently for Baby Jesus; 
and when ye have found him in a cage, bring me word again, 
that I may come and politicize him also."

Wednesday, December 05, 2018

Poppy Bush Goes to Heaven and 
Leaves Narcissus Behind
Joe Biden is 'the most qualified person in the country to be 
president' in the same way George Herbert Walker Bush 
was, in the words of Chris Wallace, 'the greatest living
Art Imitating Life, or
Steve Doocy Diagnosed with TNCS
(Trump No Collusion Syndrome)
Trump Has an Epiphany
This Cathedral Ain't Big Enough for the Both of Us
5G cellular mobile communications features a high data rate, reduced latency, energy saving, cost reduction, higher system capacity, massive device connectivity, and, like Trump's wall, promises to pay for itself.
According to PETA, you should no longer say 'bring home 
the bacon'.  Instead, you should say, 'bring home the bagels'. 
One is made to wonder if this reformulation of a popular 
idiomatic expression has been approved by PETB (People
 for the Ethical Treatment of Bagels).
Steve Bannon Sex Machine Cancels Appearance at 4th 
International Congress on Love and Sex with Robots
Go for it, Trumpniks!  Now's your chance!
"He's the most colorless Attorney-General ever,"
they say.
"Shields up, red alert!"

Tuesday, December 04, 2018

Adventures in Lexicology #26
Psychopompeo (/ˈsaɪkoʊ/pɒmˈpeɪoʊ), n. A guide of souls to 
the place of the political undead.  [The Secretary of State
was the psychopompeo for members of the Trump
Chris Stewart Sez:  “Journalists disappear all over 
the country.”
Sergeant Matt Patten Disciplined for Aligning 
Himself with QAnon and 'Theoretical Alternative 
Meanings Behind Political Happenings'
Torture Porn
Lindsey Graham Nails It
The Shadow had "the power to cloud men's minds so 
they cannot see him." But he had not figured on the
 cat during shedding season.
"I am a Tariff Man," Trump says.  A tariff is a tax on imports. 
Trump, in other words, is saying, "I am a Tax Man."  And 
who pays the tax?  You do.
Ladies, are you ready for the
'Pence Effect'?
Commander Bonespur Salutes Not Too Successful
Dead President
Who is this guy trying to hide behind
a scrofulous beard?

Monday, December 03, 2018

Trump Makes a Distinction
Trump looks like a bride left at the altar.
Adventures in Aestheticism #125
Glenn Reynolds Self-Deports from Twitter, 
Giving Him More Time to Read Novels
with the Kindle App on His iPhone
Trump Pays Tribute to The Animals
Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #120
Joseph Otting

Sunday, December 02, 2018

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #182
Pardonocchio: the Story of a Lying Puppet
Who Wants to Stay Out of Jail
Captain Marvel's Flying Dragon
Adventures in Aestheticism #124
Argentina Sérénade