Saturday, July 21, 2012

"Why is it, Governor Brewer, that you
 always seem to remind people of  
Chicharrones, i. e., a 'Crispy Cloud
of Porkaliciousness'?"
"Try again.  I don't smile easily."
If you are rich enough, your house, like Michael Jordan's, 
will be able, like cancer, to metastasize.

Rich as he was, Donald Trump still could only afford a
Dick Tracy 1-way wrist radio.
"Whaddya mean, 'No tongue'?  You're obviously
not a very serious person!"
"No, I'm not the guy from Pennsylvania who owned over
 200 Chihuahuas.  But my dog apparently thinks I do, and 
that's why we're here.  Is the psychiatrist in?"
Still No Vaccine or Cure on the Horizon for the Disease
Called 'Man'
If he could, Anders Behring Breivik would
'Friend' James Holmes on Facebook.
"The latest FBI estimate is that there are only 200 million 
privately-owned firearms in the United States.  But there 
are now 313,995,188 people living in this country.  I ask you:
will the gross imbalance between these two numbers be
 corrected before it's everlastingly too late?" 
#10  Please Frack Responsibly
Judson Phillips Wants to Know Why President Obama Is
Having Gay Sex and Smoking Crack and He Isn't
Boneless Man Sez:  “Anyone who knows Mitt Romney knows 
he doesn’t have a mean-spirited bone in his body.  In fact, 
like me, he doesn't have ANY bones in his body."
Bobby Jindal Putting a Spell on Mitt Romney
"Yup, been followin' my bliss since '42."
Before he became the operator of Mitt Romney's car 
elevator, he had earned a living cleaning the beaks of 
fighting partridges in Afghanistan.
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #400
Dave Agema
If Louie Gohmert is representative of 
contemporary 'Christian-Judeo beliefs', 
no wonder atheism is thriving!
"This shooting rampage is brought to you, completely
legally and in full compliance with the law, by
Gander Mountain."
Former President Bush to Skip Republican National 
Convention; "I Didn't Want to Have to Sit in the 
Leper's Corral," He Says
"I think it's trying to say, 'Stop politicizing 
my tragedy!'"
"It's just another one of those dysteleological surds 
we call a 'tragedy', you see.  Tragedies just happen, 
and nothing can be done about them, except to hope 
that we forget the last one before the next one occurs."

Friday, July 20, 2012

Two-Minute Haters #29
Michael Ben-Ari
The United States is now averaging 20 mass shootings
a year.  God bless the NRA!
"What are Obama and Romney going to do about guns?" 
asks Mayor Bloomberg.  That's easy to answer:  
"Absolutely nothing.  Also, pray."
"I don't care what the government says.
I still believe in mermaids."

It's comforting to know that the Batman movie 
shooting in Colorado was not a terrorist attack.
For the first time ever, Michele Bachmann was seen
yesterday running from, instead of toward, a 
TV camera.
"Mr. Zimmerman, do you think it was also 'God's plan' for 
the gunman to kill 12 and wound 59 in Colorado last night?"
Zarathustra's Advice to Penn State Students:
"Beware lest a statue slay you."

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Senator Mike Lee (R-UT) Distances Himself from
Greg Peterson
The Republican on the left has been charged with nine
 counts of forcible sexual abuse, seven counts of rape, 
three counts of object rape, two counts of 
aggravated kidnapping, forcible sodomy, assault, 
burglary and sexual battery.  The Republican on the
 right refuses to show his tax papers. 
Department of Homeland Security to Take Advice Henceforth
Only from 'Friendly' Muslims Louie Gohmert Has Hugged
"Don't Tazo me, bro!"
"We the 1% people have given you the 99% people all 
you need to know and understand about our financial 
situation and how we live our life. So, run along and play."
Big Mac Caught Standing in Burger King's Lettuce
"We love it when Charles Pierce writes about the 
'lavatories of democracy'.  Don't you?"
"Not to worry.  Michele Bachmann 
is just off her meds again."
If the Mosquito Drones don't get you,

then the Zombie Gnomes will.
"If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times:
I left Bane Capital in February of 1999!"
Hood ornaments are back.
"So, Judge Napolitano, if I understand you correctly, you
are saying that the only way the country can avoid falling
off the 'fiscal cliff' is to Eat Mor Chikn."
George Zimmerman says "it was all God's plan" for him to
murder Trayvon Martin.  Well, at least he didn't say the
Devil made him do it.
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #399
Randi Shannon

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

If you want to know what happens when you fall off a 
'fiscal cliff', take a good look at Alice Rivlin.
Is it accidental that Mitt Romney changed the spelling of
'Bane' to 'Bain', or is it part of a conspiracy to increase
ticket sales for the latest Batman movie?
Michelle Bachmann Tearfully Acknowledges
Senator McCain Has Been Infiltrated by the
Muslim Brotherhood
CEO Dan Cathy Says Chick-fil-A® Only Puts Certified
Born-Again, Non-Butt-Raping White Chicken Meat
 Between Its Buns
"Everybody's Got Something to Hide 
Except for Me and My Sippy Cupp"
Let it be known to one and all, Jay
Nordlinger is a 'dryback'.