Saturday, January 26, 2008

Enormous Bra Turns Young Man's Fancy to Thoughts of Love
She would have cleaned up her room, but she didn't
have one to clean up anymore.
German Chancellor Changes Sex, Language,
Nationality, and Religion, All at the Same Time
President Attempts to Blow Kiss, Blows Himself Instead
Minute Maid
"I'm tellin' ya, Mugsy, the Mitt never laid a glove on me!"
When Jordan's Queen Rania and Microsoft's Bill Gates
Discovered U2's Bono Wears High-Heel Sneakers
Nessie Says Scotland Too Chilly, Moves to Florida

McCainiac Escapes from Right-Wing Nuthouse,
Terrorizes Republican Blogosphere

Friday, January 25, 2008

Asked why he chose 'King of the Mountains' as the
title for his new record, Rodney said 'King of the
Mole Hills' just didn't sound right.
Roger Federer Loses Australian Open, Has a Hissy Fit
Like a bad penny, Paul Wolfowitz has turned up again,
this time as Chairman of the Secretary of State’s
International Security Advisory Board. If you think
you're watching one of those flicks where the slasher
keeps coming back to life, you are.
Anorexics Gone Wild

Thursday, January 24, 2008

"Hmm, I don't see balls and I have tits. Must be same-sex sumo."
Zen and the Art of Motorcyclicide
Like his master, Harry Reid's dog could never resist
straying after a bit of Republican leg.
"Yo, UN peacekeeper! Did you know if you free your mind,
your ass will follow?"
Why Katherine Jean Lopez is a hackneyed
rightist is written all over her face. That's
why she looks like a palimpsest.
What would it be like to be someone who people liked
less and less once they got to know you better and better?
Ask Rudy Giuliani.
World's Worst Jobs #70
Indian Brick Porter
Stoicism comes in handy if you're a dog and have no better option
than to sit in the middle of the street during a rainstorm.
Jack Black Doing His Impression of a Bottle of
Jack Daniel's Old No. 7
Is the child in the bucket worth more, the same,
or less than the buildings in the background?
EPA Administrator Testifies,
"I Consider Myself a Human Being;"
Senators Vote Along Party Lines,
Reject His Claim by a Vote of 10-9
Money Shot

Hillary Defends Bill's Role Defending Hillary in Campaign
Iranian Crooner on the Eve of His
'Iraq, I Love You' Tour
Drudge Report Funnies #15
"Mars 'Creature' Is Rock, Says NASA..."
"Joshua fit de battle ob Jerico, Jerico, Jerico
Joshua fit de battle ob Jerico
An’ de walls come tumblin’ down."
Local Constabulary Clueless as to How an Entire Church
Was Stolen in Broad Daylight

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Roger Stone, a GOP dirty-trickster whose pedigree
is traceable back to Richard Nixon, is now behind
Delegates to the annual meeting of the Pinocchio Appreciation
Congress have voted overwhelmingly to recognize the Bush
Administration for setting a new world record in prevarication
over time: 935 false statements about Iraq's WMD in just two years.
"You guys still running that '$5 Each Every Day When
You Order 3 or More 1-Topping Mediums' special?"
"OK, what do you propose we do to decide who's hornier?"
Kashmiris Discover the Only Car in Town
That Runs and Immediately Punish It
Now that Fred Thompson is out of the race, Professor Bainbridge
is debating with himself whether he will be willing to throw his
weight--which is considerable--behind any of the remaining
Republican candidates. Chances are good right now that both
sides in this debate will lose.
A Swiftly Tilting First Lady
Republican leader John Boehner said the other day,
"I like real food, food that I can pronounce the name
of." With this in mind, here are links to real recipes
for real food with names that even George Bush could
pronounce. Each was selected with the remaining
Republican presidential candidates in mind.

Mike Huckabee -- Squirrel Stew
Mitt Romney -- Flip Flop Cake
John McCain -- Hawksnest Salad
Rudy Giuliani -- Buzzard Bites

"On the stump the other day, Congressman Paul, you
said (and I quote): 'Even without a bowtie, Tucker
Carlson is still a putz'. Do you stand by that statement?"
President Bush Test Drives the Lawnmower He
Plans to Give Jenna as a Wedding Present
Peer into an icehole long enough
and you may have an epiphany.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The Petraeus System of Iraq War Time
One Friedman Unit = 6 Months
One O'Hanlon Unit = 1 Year
One Kagan Unit = 5 Years
One McCain Unit = 10 Years
One Lieberman Unit = 100 Years
One Kristol Unit = Whenever
District Attorney Arthur Branch is now being chided for
dragging his heels until it was too late to endorse Fred
Thompson for the GOP presidential nomination. Republican
strategists are now saying the DA's support may have made
all the difference in the battle for the White House in 2008.
Bets are now on as to how long it will take Jeri Kehn to dump

Grandpa Fred before she finds a new partner in
Great-Grandpa John.
"I know my face doesn't instill much confidence in the
American economy. To tell the truth, it doesn't instill
much confidence in me, either."
"Does this mean, Fred, you'll announce this afternoon
that you're dropping out of the Presidential race?"
"Can't say for sure, Joe. You know I can't think that far ahead."
Anti-MLK Day Demonstrators Greeted with
the Strong Bad Variation of the Double Deuce