Saturday, October 09, 2010

Hogan had his heroes.  So did Colonel Klink.
Let it be known, far and wide, that Meg Whitman
is an attention-whore and a celebrity-whore, but
she is not a whore-whore.
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #233
Rich Iott (aka Reinhard Pferdmann)
Critic Pans Book of Ecclesiastes;
"Same Old, Same Old," He Says
Two-Minute Haters #13
Joe Kaufman
Rightbloggers and Other
Internet Biohazards #70
Exurban League

Friday, October 08, 2010

Federal Stimulus Money Fails to Re-Animate
72,000 Residents of City of the Dead
"How far would you say it is from one side of
Christine O'Donnell's mouth to the other?"
"By road, or as the crow flies?"
Andrew Miller Joins Claypool Court
Public-Indecency-of-the-Month Club
Illegal Aliens Close Lou Dobbs'
Barn Door After Horse Escapes
Warm Scuzzies #116
Charles Leaf
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #232
Art Robinson
Latino Lake Pirates Spotted in Texas, Louisiana, and Nevada;
Will Alaska Be Next?

Thursday, October 07, 2010

"You gotta understand, boys, that there's a big difference
between actors, like us, getting paid to pretend to be
West Virginia hicks and real West Virginia hicks who
do it for nuthin' ." 
"Terrell's Siding is guaranteed to be born again and
will keep your home 100% socialism-free."
Oxymorons for Our Time #67
Gun-Free Zone
Americans Slipping into Cacatonia,
Scatologists Say
Al Capone Does the Republicans One Better

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

If you see that your neighbor's house is on fire,
don't call the fire department.  Call Katherine
Mangu-Ward, instead, and invite her over to
roast some Libertarian chestnuts on an open fire.
"Todd, is my ass on the line yet?"
"Yes, Sarah, he's on the line now."

"Hello, Sarah, remember me?"
Magical Depressionism #13
Drop in Crime Rate Forces Justice League Layoffs
Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #37
Commandante Wurzelbacher, He Wolf of the Puppy Mills
World's Worst Jobs #114
Being No. 3 Man in Al-Qaida
Warm Scuzzies #115
Randy Michaels
Greedheads Galore #2
Sam Zell
Whitman Ups Bid for California Governorship to $140 Million;
 Reserve Price Still Not Met
Is all this Bed Buggy talk just a bunch of fear-mongering?
Rude Rhymes #30

 Bathtub Ring

Peter King
 Uncle Scrooge

Aunt Pinchpenny
Unprovoked, the little girl in the yellow
glasses said, "Don't Treadmill on Me,"
and then laughed gently.
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #77
Jim Hoft, Dick Morris, and Roy Blunt
"Pardon me, sir, but are you Glenn Harlan Beauregard
Cletus T. Cornpone Reynolds?"

Tuesday, October 05, 2010

CNN's Parker-Spitzer Show Goes Up in Flames,
Fox Network's Ayn Rand Memorial Fire Department
Tries to Put Out Fire with Gasoline 
Of all the many 'gaps' Americans have faced over
 the years---the Missile Gap, the Generation Gap,
the Mineshaft Gap, the Enthusiasm Gap, the
Income Gap, and the Gender Gap---none is 
 more ominous than today's Gap Kids Gap.
"My skinny little Indian friend from Louisiana and I agree
that it's time for America to stop talking about 'Elections'
and start talking about 'Auctions', or even better, about
'Buy It Now!'"
If you want access to Christine O'Donnell's 'Classified
 Information' regarding 'China's Takeover of the United
States', please enter the coupon code 'OZOB' at checkout.
Before the Americans came, auto theft had been a major
problem in Baghdad.  Now--Allah be praised!-- it wasn't.
If Joe Miller, Sharron Angle, Rand Paul, and Christine
O'Donnell get elected to the United States Senate, the World's
Greatest Deliberative Body® will become even more what it
aready is: a joke without a punchline.
"I am she as you are she as you are me
and we are all together.
See how they run like pigs from a gun,
see how they fly.
I'm crying."
Melons in the Summer, Pumpkins in the Fall
As Iranian cleric Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi has said,
"Women who do not dress modestly lead young men astray,
corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which
increases earthquakes."
"Joe Miller lays his wife off from his staff, she
starts drawing unemployment insurance, and
he secedes from her for being unconstitutional:
is that what you're telling me?"

Feeling undereducated? Eyeing David Plouffe with
envy? Wanting to see politics from the bottom up?
Aching to get down and dirty with the body politic?
If so, you sound like someone George Washington
University has in mind for its new Online Master's
Degree in Political Management.
Welcome to South Fulton, Home of the
Compassionate Conservative Fire Department
NATO Deploys New Solar-Powered APCs to Afghanistan
U.S. Military 'Goes Green', Orders Less Dependence
on Fossil Fuels in Afghanistan
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #76
Kathleen Parker and Eliot Spitzer