Saturday, November 15, 2008

Aftershocks of the Obama earthquake in the United
States are still being felt worldwide.
Sarah Palin Gives Sneak Peek of Her 2012
Look at Republican Governors' Conference
The next phase in the Excruciating Etiquette program
would be learning how to sit on your fist and lean back
on your thumb.
Like the ugly duckling, his peers made fun of him until
he grew up to be

And then they made fun of him even more.
Why don't we ever see a condom production line on
How It's Made, the popular Science Channel program?
When Vice President-Elect Joe Biden visited the U. S. Naval
Observatory, he learned why Vice President Cheney is such
a big Dick: he has two prostates, both enlarged.
Times must be getting really tough: Hormel Foods is
reportedly struggling to keep up with Spam demand.
Ming the Merciless' other daughter was unfortunately
born with her head on backwards, which made getting
dressed a real hassle.
Upon further reflection, it would seem reasonable to believe
Vladimir Putin might be able to hang Mikhail Saakashvili by
the balls.
Barack Obama to Distance Himself from William Ayers
by Moving to Washington, D.C.
Dreamer Trying Vainly to Retrace His Steps Back to
Where He Can't Quite Remember
Giant Emoticon Seen As Positive Sign From On High
President Bush's impression of the American economy
was always good for a laugh.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice is required to go through
the Door of Humility on the way out of the Bush Administration
and into a future career of hard-earned, well-deserved obscurity.
Bush Performs Warning Dance Against 'Too Much' Government
in Markets, Defends Capitalism Nonverbally
Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of Frank 
Walter Steinmeier?
Angela Merkel's shadow knows.
If you thought the rightwing mudslingers were bad during
the presidential campaign, just wait until January 20, 2009.
Star-Bangled Spanner
If ever a new Nietzsche proclaims "Gold Is
Dead!" that will be the beginning of the end
of humankind's oldest faith.
Passengers aboard the Bush Express had an
uneasy feeling they were going nowhere.
"I think the Left hates me — mostly men on the Left hate me —
because to me from outside in it appears that I have a great
sex life, all right?"
Her body over 60% water, the little girl wondered why
the other 40% wasn't.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Representative Paul Broun (R-GA) has apologized for
being a flatus tube. Unfortunately, once a flatus tube,
always a flatus tube. Sorry, Congressman!
You probably didn't know that today is Crappycopia,
the Harvest Festival of Conservatism's Firstfruits.
Texas State Board of Education member Cynthia Dunbar (who,
incidentally, home schools her own children) isn't backing
down from her claim that Barack Obama is plotting with
terrorists to attack the U.S. And you thought Witch Hazel
was an astringent that came only in a bottle!
Buck Burnette Has Longhorns Sawed Off for
Inviting Hunters to White House Out of Season
Besides looking all wrinkly and scowly, what
is Zell Miller, Joe Lieberman's mentor in 'stab
in the back politics', doing these days?
China Makes Bold Move to Steal Media Attention
Away from Sarah Palin
It's not impossible to extinguish the human spirit.
But it's hard.

Punditocracy Already Bored with Obama Administration,
Can Hardly Wait for 2012
Enough of this sitting on your ass in front of the
computer! It's time to head for the great outdoors
for some RINO huntin' with the Nuge!
Machiavelli's Shadow Ready to
Board Time Machine for 2010
Zappadan draweth nigh. When it arrives, you will
find all of its nutty goodness at The Aristocrats.
AIG CEO Edward Liddy to Publish New Book, Kama Sutra
for Financiers: 1001 Ways to Screw Taxpayers

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

If Sarah Louise Heath had been a blogger back in the day,
she would've been in her parents’ basement just talkin’
garbage like everybody else, but without pajamas. If
you want to know what that looked like, just ask
Todd Palin's fly. On the wall, it was very fond of trash.
Off the wall, it was even fonder.
Suggestion: send Michael O'Hanlon to the families of the
two U. S. soldiers killed today by an Iraqi soldier to expatiate
for one hour, and without notes, on the success of the 'surge'.
Sarah Palin said "my son's life is now in Barack
Obama's hands." All in all, Track seemed to bear
up under this bit of good news pretty well.
Let's be fair: should we blame John Podhoretz for the
fact that his father is Norman Podhoretz and his
mother is Midge Decter?
If there was ever a deserving candidate for an extreme
makeover, it would be Senator Ken Salazar of Colorado.
His head is too big for his body, his hat is too big for his
head, and he looks more like Phil Gramm than
Phil Gramm.
If you are too tall and would like to shed a few inches,
this fellow claims he can fix you right up.
"Now that you mention it, Barack, the symmetry of the
Oval Office has tended to get on my nerves."
Andrew Sullivan, Pre-Palin

Andrew Sullivan, Post-Palin
Little Jack Horner sat in the corner
Eating his Christmas pie,
He put in his thumb and pulled out a

Plum Book
And said "What a good boy am I!"

Did you know an extra hour of shuteye is worth $60,000?
This is just one of the amazing facts in the New York
Times bestseller, Sleep and Grow Rich.
World's Worst Yobs #59
Michael Barone
"Yeah, my show will now have a seven-second delay to
protect against my dropping any more f-bombs. On the
other hand, no other show on MSNBC will have this
feature. I'm kinda proud of that."
Representative Paul Broun (R-GA) said Monday he fears that
President-elect Obama will establish a Gestapo-like security
force to impose a Marxist dictatorship. A spokesman for the
Obama Administration replied, "What the Congressman says
is only half true. The other half is that the dictatorship will
only be imposed on bug-eyed white Republicans from Georgia."