Wednesday, June 01, 2011

Tempus Fearguth means it's time for Wakarusa!
Q.E.D.: Bildungblog will be offline until June 6.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

"I'm not gonna light my hair on fire," says Governor Tea-Paw
 Bridgefail, "or shoot sparks out of my ears.  I'm just your
average pubcrawling doofus."
"If Al-Qaida ever hooks up with those gays,
it's all over but the shouting!"
Ah, the banality of bankers behaving badly!

Monday, May 30, 2011

What Will Replace Medicare If Paul Ryan Has His Way
Rude Rhymes #49

Cheap Carcass

Ruth Marcus
Rightbloggers and Other
Internet Biohazards #99
Creative Minority Report
Member of Hell's Grannies Biker Gang Claims Arthur
Herbert Fonzarelli (aka 'The Fonz') Wasn't Real
This is not the real Ben Shapiro. This is just a leftist image
of him, spread by the most powerful medium of mass pinko
propaganda in human history.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Vote for Mitt Romney!  He believes what
you believe, even if you changed your
opinion about corn-on-the-cob last night!
Living in Alaska had been bad enough.  But now Sarah Palin
was moving Bullwinkle to Arizona.
"Pardon me, Muammar, but I think my future will be brighter
if I say 'Ciao' and join Sarah Palin's upcoming One Country
bus tour."
"You know, Peace Dove, if the United States of America
 wasn't always warring with somebody, it might decide that
Memorial Day is just too tragic to be celebrated as  a
I Remember Dubya #50
Not many people remember the day when
Dubya finally produced a pear-shaped tone.
It didn't last long, but it was worth the wait.
He had been reduced to the absolute essentials:  himself, a
room with pink walls, and his gun.  What more did he need?
Hell, yes! He's a gunhugger!  But he doesn't
hug just ANY damn gun!
"Don't ask me why I'm pulling this damn rope!  I just heard
someone yell, 'War!' and I started tugging!"
Even though it didn't have a Department
of Silly Walks, Belarus still kept all the
ancient Cleesian traditions.
"So, your parents named you after
the 1948 Tucker, eh?  That makes
you almost as famous as Henry
Ford, doesn't it?
"Hey, I thought you said our cammies and facepaint made
 us invisible!"
The Unexpurgated Bible #55
And the Serpent said unto Eve, "Sometimes a tongue is just
a tongue!  Why do you always have to drag sex into it?"
What makes the National Debt a much more
effective monster than, say, Snowbeast, is
that you can't see it, hear it, taste it, smell
it, touch it, or feel it.  You can only fear it,
because the National Debt is ultimately
nothing more than an idea, represented
by numbers stored as magnetic bits on a
computer hard drive somewhere in a
very secret, very scary place.
"I wake up every morning with large breasts," Meghan
McCain writes, "and it doesn’t affect me."  Kris Humphries
wakes up with large breasts, too, but it does affect him.
Just ask Kim Kardashian to show you her $2 million
engagement ring.
"The only meat I'm eating," says Mark
Zuckerberg, "is from chickens, pigs, and goats
I've killed myself with the Scrooch-Gun that
I brought with me from Asteroid B-612."
Warm Scuzzies #190
Max Talbott
"Of course, Sarah Palin can beat Obama, just
like we did in 2008, goddammit!"
The Libyan rebels' campfire-building skills
left something to be desired.
Paul Ryan Showing How He Plans to Push
Grandma Over a Cliff
"Governor Daniels, could you have beaten President Obama
in 2012?"
"Yes, I think so. I mean, no one can know."
"If no one can know, Governor, why do you think so?"