Saturday, August 23, 2014

Hearting While Intoxicated T-Shirt
Selling Like Hotcakes
The Potrzebie Prize #23
Officer Matt Pappert Lauded for Knowing How to
Use Facebook to Put Down Rabid Dogs
Colorado Hunter Posing with 
Ancestor's Skull
Rich Lowry Sez:  "The next time I hear a Republican 
strategist or a Republican politician say that there are 
jobs that Americans won't do, that person should be 
shot, he should be hanged, he should be wrapped in 
a carpet and thrown in the Potomac River.  You know 
that's what they did to Rasputin, I think it was a 
different river. But let me tell you, it worked."
[What he thinks should be done to Democrats
who say the same thing is NSFW.]
Can Governor Perry bend steel in his bare hands?
There's one way to find out.

Friday, August 22, 2014

Two-Minute Haters #43
Dan Page
Pentagon Says No Evidence of ISIS 
Under Rick Perry's Bed
Rand Paul Looking for Indictment Opportunity 
to Get Back in the Running for the Republican 
Presidential Nomination, Says He Already Has
 a 'Great Mugshot'
Little Known Fact #55
Kevin Sorbo can entertain himself for up to an hour
with nothing more than a fly swatter.
"Stop calling me a 'Racist', dammit!  I'm a 'Self-Righteous
White Supremacist'!"
Warm Scuzzies #500
Kim Tihen

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Aromatherapy Gone Bad
Take This Pill for the 10 Things You Need to Know Today
"I'm forever blowing bubbles,
Pretty bubbles in the air."
"Why did you post racist images on your Facebook
page, Councilman Tinsley?"
"I was a very active Republican."
"Ya know, Bernie, if you shaved off your eyebrows, you
wouldn't have a single hair on your head."

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Ray Albers Sez:  "I’m going to fucking 
protect and serve the shit out of you!”
Mugshot of Michael Zona, the Chicken-Suited New 
Hampshire Republican Arrested for Flapping and 
Clucking at Dems
Officer Go Fuck Yourself, Said to Be One of
Missouri's Finest, Relieved of Duty and 
Suspended Indefinitely
"You can't solve it with a dialogue. You can't solve it with 
summit. You solve it with a bullet to the head. It's the only
 thing these Muslims understand.  God, this drumette is 
Warm Scuzzies #499
Sunil Dutta
Whiteworld #21
Peter Kinder's Election as Lt. Governor of Missouri Viewed as 
"One of the Great Advances of Anglo-American Civilization"
Forced to remove his horn-rimmed glasses disguise
 for his mugshot, it was easy to see that Clark Kent 
was really Superman.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

"What's that?"
"It's a Steampunk Twitter Sub-Tweeter."
"Oh, yeah, I heard someone say something
about that on NPR just the other day."
Sign of the Times #59
Could be worse.  Could be
Bugs Bunny watching you.
Michael Baden Sez:  "Traces of marijuana in Michael Brown's
 system may have made him do crazy things.  I know it makes
 me say crazy things."
Can you imagine a more appropriate mugshot of the
Governor of Texas than this?
That night, it was unclear whether Fearguth had accepted 
the Pinhead Challenge, the Buckethead Challenge, or both.
We have now learned that Anakin Skywalker was originally
Officer Friendly.  That was before the militarization of the 
police turned him into Darth Vader.
'Designated Media Area' in Ferguson, Missouri
World's Worst Yobs #311
Eddie Scarry
It's good to know that Combined Tactical Systems of 
Jamestown, Pennsylvania, is getting rich off the fiasco
in Ferguson, Missouri.
"Call me Sergeant Schultz one more time and I'll blow
your brains out!"
Warm Scuzzies #498
Center for Strategic and International Studies
"USA!  USA!  USA!"

Monday, August 18, 2014

If you want to find out what it's like to live where it's
'Open Carry Day' every day, move to Ferguson.
No, no, no, Ferguson Police Department!  It's Freedom to
 Assemble, not Freedom to Dissemble!
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #175
Ben Howe and Donald Rumsfeld
"What's it like, Mr. Gregory, to get paid $4 million to
not meet the press?"
Two-Minute Haters #42
Russell Sysack and Nancy Sysack
How many times does a cop have to shoot an 
unarmed teenager before murder occurs?
The Ferguson, Missouri, motto is:  Proud Past. Promising
 Future.  It may need to be revised.

Sunday, August 17, 2014

When Wearing Hoods Would Be Aesthetically Advantageous
Meet the Press Says Goodbye to David Gregory 
Bill Cowan Sez:  "When I see an Obama sticker go by in 
a car, I've never had anger like that in my life. I want to 
run 'em off the road.  I don't care if it's a woman."
Thomas Jackson Sez:  "Congratulations,
Officer Darren Wilson, for putting
Ferguson, Missouri, on the map!"
Rude Rhymes #80

Briny Swisher

Bryan Fischer
If Governor Perry wiggles out of having his mugshot taken, 
perhaps his understudy's could be used as a substitute.
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #590
Jesse Lee Peterson