Saturday, October 16, 2010

Glenn Beck Reportedly Poisoned by Practicing
Unprotected Lucubration of Progressivism
The most plausible explanation for the way Sharron Angle
looks, talks, and acts is that she's on drugs--or should be.
If you have a hard time visualizing how
plate tectonics works, just look at
Rick Perry's face.
"I almost have American democracy in my grasp.  And
when I finally do, I'll crush it like a soda can."
Rude Rhymes #32

Allen West

Friday, October 15, 2010

"What's in the teapot?"
"No Social Security, No Medicare, No Medicaid,
No Minimum Wage, No Child Labor Laws,
No Public Schools, No 14th Amendment, No 16th
Amendment, No 17th Amendment, No Abortions,
No Gays, No New Taxes."
"With so many No's, it must be empty."
"Hardly.  It's full of Koch Suckers and
Crazy People."
Confirmed:  Fox News Originates from Mars (the Roman
God of War) and Its Two Moons , Phobos (Fear) and
Deimos (Panic)
"Sorry I can't stand up straight tonight, but
I've got Sean Hannity in my back pocket."
"I see Dick Armey, but where are the piranhas?"
Fearguth and Loathing in the 21st Century #15
Imagine sucking a fertilized duck egg through a straw. 
That would be Brian Kilmeade.
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #237
David Harmer

Thursday, October 14, 2010

"Did you just say your name is 'Frantz Kebreau', or am I
 drunker than a skunk?"
'Snail Giving Head to a Frog', Just One of the Many
Pornographic Emails Forwarded by Carl Paladino to
 His Buddies in the Construction Industry
"It's definitely triplets, Mrs. Nicholls, and I would swear I
heard them arguing over who was the smartest guy in the
 Condi had begun to worry about how historians
would treat her.

As it turned out, her worry was justified.
"Before we go any further, I just want to say this:  it's not
my fault that I have such a poor excuse for a beard."
Evolution had been very good to many people,
but not Christine O'Donnell.
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #79
Christine O'Donnell and Bob Dornan
"I can't leap tall buildings in a single bound, but I can hear
whispers in the dark further away than Superman can."
"Of course I sound 'catty'!  I'm a bleeding leopard
for chrissake!"
"Of course it's only a flesh wound!  What other kind of wound
is there?"
"Last one in is Sharron Angle!"
"I'm not afraid of the dark, so I would probably enjoy
The March to Keep Fear Alive."
Garfield Gets Fixed
Famous Vowel Salesman Wants to Limit the Right
to Vote to Those Who Have Nothing to Gain or
Lose from Elections; "Public Officials Should
 Be Elected by Those of Us Who Only Vote for
 the Hell of It," He Says
Carl Paladino Seconds Before He
Folded Like a Cheap Camera
Rich Iott doesn't have an anti-Semitic bone in his body.
He's one of the new generation of Nazi Independents
who openly criticize Adolf Hitler's 'Final Solution' as a 
failed geopolitical strategy.
How Barack Obama Appears to Larry Kudlow
When He's All Coked Up
Pakistan Arrests 7 Militants, Foil Plot to Cancel
Wheel of Fortune
Hemp Chips
Although it looks like he's choking on a kosher
pastrami sandwich, he's not;  Rabbi Yehuda
Levin looks that way all the time.
Oxymorons for Our Time #68
Mature Business
Warm Scuzzies #117
Paul Snover

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Rude Rhymes #31

 Pamprin for Men

Mark Halperin
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #78
Donald Douglas and Pam Geller
"Not very long for a King, is it, Steve?"
After six months, the food was plastic to the touch
and had an acrylic sheen to it.
But it was still happy.
"Props to Carl Paladino for renting space for Buddies II,
our bear/leather bar!"
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #236
Scott Bruun
"After November, Republicans will feel more responsible
 and may offer serious proposals and work with me in
a serious way.  Hmmm, these paint fumes are sure
making me feel funny."
Scientists Stumped by Bulldog Bee
Colony Collapse Disorder
Drowning Man About to Go Down for the Third Time

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Did you know that members of the 'Our Gang' comedies
had a secret sign?  Pope Pius XII did.
"Step on it, dear!  We don't want to miss Joe
Miller's Libertarian rant about the welfare
state and fiscal responsibility."
"Compared to what I have to go through every morning,"
says Neel Kashkari, "shaving a beaver is a piece
of cake."
"Just curious, Mr. Blankfein, but when you and your kind need
a place to stuff $144 billion in new bonuses, how long do you
have to stand in line at Mattress Giant?"