Saturday, March 19, 2011


Warm Scuzzies #162
Quantico Marine Base
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #283
Ron Gould
"The pension plan for the average member of
Congress is not that great.  .... If I were going to
retire off of what’s here, it would be pretty
slim pickens."

Pretty Slim Pickens
"Is there a proctologist in the audience?  I've got
lawsuits up the gazoo!"
Be circumspect about who you friend on Facebook.
He or she may be a Pentagon sock puppet.
Barack H. Obama Elementary School to Be Closed
and Dropped on Libya

Friday, March 18, 2011

Remember the Donkeyphant?  It's now extinct,
like David Broder.
"If legendary big-wave surfer Sion Milosky drowned at 
Maverick Beach, what am I, a Russell Terrier, doing
on this mother-frickin' surfboard?"
"Hey, Pop, I have a better idea!  Why don't you and Mom get
in the basket and I'll go see Kung Fu Panda 2?"
"I've not only seen House of Wax, I was Vincent
Price's stunt double in that picture.  You probably
didn't know that.  Anyway, have you ever seen it
in 3D?"
Bomb Libya,
or the
Best Franco-American Alliance Since
the Invention of SpaghettiOs®
What was it like when myths were first being formed,
when only the originals existed--before, as in our day,
there were so many copies, imitations, comparisons,
allegories, parables, metaphors, and analogies? Take
Narcissus, for example. When his contemporaries saw
 him gazing at his image in the pool, they wouldn't have
called him a 'Narcissist' or 'Narcissistic', would they?
So, what did they call him, before he, charmed by his
own image, fell into the pool and drowned? Do you
suppose they might have called him a 'Gingrichist'
 or, perhaps, 'Palinistic'?
Some say naps make you smarter.  But not in Governor Perry's
case.   Even if he pulled a Rip Van Winkle and slept for
twenty years, he would wake up in 1991 playing Darryl in
Thelma and Louise.
The Lincoln Lawyer

The Lincoln Pirate
What Men Should Wear to the Parousia

What Women Should Wear
"Don't believe the media when they say
I had sex with the Italian Prime Minister
 13 times.  If you know Silvio like I do,
you would know he suffers from
Triskaidekaphobia.  So we skipped
number 13."
American Schutzstaffel #7
Latter-Day Saint Says "I Think These Are the Latter Days"
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #282
Dan Ramos
If the Japanese Had Only Engraved 'In God We Trust'
on Their Nuclear Reactors
Howler Monkey
Howler Birther
"When I was 12, I used to hide out and steal Halloween
candy from children.  Isn't that awful? And now I'm
governor of Maine! Now that I'm governor of Maine,
there's nothing left to steal."
"They've given us the Prius. Even now,
Japanese refugees are recycling their
garbage. And yet, Gaia levels them!
Just wipes them out! Ha, ha, ha!
Wanna hear an even funnier
Diane Sawyer joke?"
"Radiation is actually good for you. 
Look what it's done for me."
Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #51
National Lampoon's Ponzi Madness
Warm Scuzzies #161
Timothy Durham
Independent voters, like this young Arnold Schwarzenegger, 
say they would support Charlie Sheen over Sarah Palin for
President by a 41/36 margin.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #281
Schaeffer Cox
No, these fine ladies aren't grieving over the tragedy in
Japan.  They're watching a Novice's Hurdle horse race at
the Cheltenham Festival in Gloucestershire, England.
"Goddammit!  Done stepped in a
pile of gohmert!"
Translated from Russian, the billboard reads:
"Never fly without a cape!"
"Senator DeMint, if you'll show me your
internal gyroscope, I'll show you mine."
“Two decades from now, when I'm 92, I would be willing to
take a look at Social Security. But I’m not willing to
take a look at it right now.”
America's unhappiest person is a short,
middle-aged, unemployed Muslim woman
who is separated from her husband and
lives in West Virginia on less than
$12,000 a year.  So, If you're not
this woman, quit your bitchin'!
World's Worst Yobs #214
Brent Littlefield
Virginia Middle-Schoolers Busted for Oregano Possession,
Listening to Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme
Warm Scuzzies #160
Sari Horwitz

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

World's Worst Yobs #213
Michael Totten
"'Anonymous' tried to blind me with porn!"
Reince Priebus criticizes Obama for putting the NCAA
bracket ahead of important issues, such as, the issue of
the President putting the NCAA bracket ahead of
important issues.
"Speaker Boehner, The Politico said today that you have a
'weakened hand'.  Is it your right or left, and has it affected
your golf game?"
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #105
Michele Bachmann and Frank Gaffney

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

"Very good, Madame Secretary!  Now watch what
happens when I press the second button!"
Warm Scuzzies #159
Tom Ganley