Saturday, June 19, 2010

Tony Hayward Gets Life Back, Licks Wounds
at Yacht Race
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #176
Jane Norton
Double Murderer Executed Twice by Firing Squad in Utah
You look like the kind of person who's been around
the block a couple of times. So, would you say that
you're one of the Small People, the Lesser People,
or the Little People?

Friday, June 18, 2010

Republican Party Re-Brands Again
Warm Scuzzies #85
Gulf of Mexico Foundation
Sharron Angle After Her Mouth Was De-Foamed
Thursday had been a bitch, so Congressman
Barton decided to take the day off.
Just when you thought the former House
Minority Leader would never enter your
field of vision again, Dick Gephardt pops
up as a lobbyist for Sodexo, the military
contractor that specializes in supplying
tainted food to the Marines.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

"Behold while I play my Invisible Hand Maracas
with FreedomWorks abandon!"
"You weren't expecting me, were you? Tell the
truth, now: you were really expecting the
Spanish Inquistion!"
"I would rather die."
"Quite rightly, you should. Do you
have any idea when that might be?"
The Anointing of Fearguth at Havasu Falls
October, 2006
Yes, everything changed on September 11, 2001,
just like it has every day before and since.
Representative Joe Barton (R-TX) Apologizes (at
3:00 p.m.) for Apology (at noon) for Apology (at
10:00 a.m.); Sets New Congressional Record for
Number of Apologies Made in a Five-Hour Period
"And if anything I've said this morning has been misconstrued
... I want to apologize for that ... misconstruction."
[Which, being interpreted, means Smokey Joe Barton has now
apologized for OUR failure to construe correctly what HE said.
This is what is popularly called a 'non-apology apology'.]
It took eight years, but Harrison Ford and Callista
Flockhart finally tied the knot, a new knot not yet
included in The Ashley Book of Knots.
Corporate Felon

Corporate Fellator
According to reliable sources on the right, this
is Debbie Schlussel's rocker, which, they say,
she is off of at the moment.
Electorate Reaches Tipping Point: More Americans Will
Run for President in 2012 Than Will Vote for Them
No matter how hard he tried, Dr. Emilio Lizardo
could not outcrazy the teabaggers.
"It is a tragedy of the first proportion that a
private corporation can be subjected to what I
would characterize as a shakedown, in this
case a $20 billion shakedown. I apologize.
I do not want to live in a country where any
time a citizen or a corporation does something
that is legitimately wrong is subject to some sort
of political pressure that is -- again, in my words,
amounts to a shakedown. So I apologize. Tony
Hayward, you've got a mighty fine ass, and I
really enjoy kissing it on national TV!"
Ardi Rizal: Only Two Years Old
and Already Multitasking
Bob Somerby Experiencing Nine Degrees of Separation

Petraeus Bounces Back, Pitches Two-Hit Shutout

James Risen, Another Tool
Edgar Steele, Author of Defensive Racism,
Arrested in Plot to Kill His Wife, His
Mother-in-Law, and to Star in My Own
Private Fargo

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Smoking Plane Makes Landing to Empty Ash Trays
Tunku Varadarajan Sniffs Blanche Lincoln, Says
She's "the Most Fragrant Democrat That Any
Republican Could Envision"
Rightbloggers and Other
Internet Biohazards #53
Looking at the Left
Rodent Expert Shines Light on Rats in NYC Subways

Papuan Tribesman Endorses Sarah Palin's Plan for
Little Dutch Boy to Plug Oil Leak with Thumb
Touchdown Jesus to Be Rebuilt, But Not Out of
Butter This Time

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Grim Fairy Tales #1
There was an old woman who lived in
a shoe.
Her foot was so big she didn't know
what to do with her many children.
So she left them out in the street
to fend for themselves.
Colonel Muammar Al-Gaddafi was very displeased
when he realized he was drinking a cheap knockoff
of Reál Sangria.
The Face That Launched a Thousand D'ohs!
"Overdressed? Perhaps. But have you ever considered
the possibility that you may be underdressed?
"Believe me, bending over backwards to please someone
is not nearly as effective as it's cracked up to be."
She had finally found a use for the genuine
hand-hammered wok she had bought late
one night in the 1990s while watching a
particularly entertaining food infomercial.
Before God Revealed to 'Touchdown Jesus' in a Flash
of Lightning That He Hates Football and Loves Soccer
So you didn't make Time magazine's list
of the 100 most influential people? To
what do you attribute your good fortune?
Charlie Daniels, NeoConfederate Boy of Leather
Sign of the Times #10
U. S. Central Commander General David Petraeus
Collapses While Testifying Before Congress about
America's Feckless Wars
"Using my sixth sense, I can tell you this bowl is
full of acorns from south of the border."
Beware of Greeks Bearing Bonds
World's Worst Yobs #169
Jimmie Bice, Jr.
"Quite frankly, Congressman King, if you're the best
that the white man has to offer, no wonder your race
is doomed to marginalization."