Saturday, September 23, 2006

Looking at Mike DeWine, it's easy to understand
why President Bush's fundraiser for the Senator
was held behind closed doors, with no press coverage.
What to Wear When You Visit Myrtle Beach
Son of Cain believes it should be legal to subject
Abel to 'tough interrogation' before killing him.
The White House said on Thursday that a deal reached with
lawmakers on the treatment of detainees would allow the CIA
to force foreign terrorist suspects to watch Fox & Friends.
Bullshit Moose Hat
Latest Model Pro-Tech Car Buffer

Friday, September 22, 2006

"Take it from me, kid: life in the ocean
isn't all that it's cracked up to be."
Spelling Bee Dropout Blames Kofi Annan and Jimmy Carter
"So, you say you got this from blowing on your thumb?
That's pretty amazing, Michael!"
Mr. Rosetti Goes to Washington
Believe it or not, some people still admire President Bush.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Secretary of State Rice Commenting on Why
She Won't Dignify What Hugo Chavez Said
with a Comment
Thaksin Shinawatra, ex-Prime Minister of
Thailand, is thinking of returning to college
to upgrade his job skills and improve his
chances of landing a high-paying job for
retired autocrats.
President Chavez of Venezuela Wiping
Sulfur Fumes Out of His Eyes
In E. coli, has Popeye finally met
a bully bigger than Bluto?

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

This is what happens when there is no
social safety net.
Here's the source of the latest buzz in the NFL.
Whoever invented the term 'animal companion'
must have had the orangutan in mind at the time.
Some elephants in the room are harder to ignore
than others.
Worldwide reaction
to President Bush's UN address

was predictable.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Face it: your artillery cannon isn't the latest model and it
is really beginning to look its age. So, before it becomes
the subject of nasty gossip in your neighborhood, take it to
Maaco and choose the 'UN Peacekeeper' paint option.
Badie Aref, Saddam Hussein's Defense Attorney,
Telling His Funniest Lawyer Joke
Something to Consider #1
In certain situations, wearing camouflage doesn't work very
 well.  For example, we see here a cadre of neoconservatives
 trying to infiltrate an al-Qaida sleeper cell.
In a SINGLE DAY, a general in Thailand has achieved what
President Bush has been striving toward for FIVE YEARS:
suspension of the Constitution, termination of both Houses
of Congress and the Supreme Court. If this isn't proof positive
of our President's incompetence, what is?
Asked why he had parked his car in a
handicapped spot, Joe Lieberman replied,
"I have a vision impairment." Asked why
the numeral '2' appears on his license
plate, he responded, "Did you say '2'? I
always thought it was a 'J' for 'Joementum'."
"Hello, Ambassador Bolton? This is Pico the Walrus calling.
I hear your nomination is in jeopardy. That's too bad,
because you're the only member of our species at the UN
right now."
King Midas Takes a Short Break From Turning
Everything into Gold
Effigy of Pope Burned in Iraq, the Cradle of Civilization
Fans at This Year's Zorro's Black Whip Convention
"Eek! a bull!"
Puppeteer plays fly ball to deep left field perfectly.
They don't call Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf, President
of Liberia, the 'Iron Lady' for nothing.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Perfect equilibrium between authority and liberty on
Planet Earth will be attained when there is one soldier,
one citizen. This soldier is looking for a citizen, and he
has his eyes on you.
This Mari tribal chieftain in Baluchistan is more
sensitive about what people say about his beard
than what they about his gun, his hat, his wardrobe,
or his religion. Suggestion: if you run into him on a
Baluchistan street, say, "Dude, if I may be so cool,
your beard rules!"
We've been told time and time again to "keep your
eye on the ball." But how are you supposed to do
that when it's sitting on top of your head?
For a few frightening seconds, Oliver Stone felt his body
being invaded by the demonic spirit of Oliver North. So he
bit his tongue really hard and that seemed to keep it at bay.
Why do we remember the Red Baron? Because he was
the pilot with at least 73 confirmed kills during WWI.
Why have we forgotten the Orange Baron? Because he
took off, crashed into the sea, and sank without a trace.
Even after they reached old age, Ann Althouse and Helen Smith
mocked younger women who didn't wear Mayan Hooter Hats.
Remember when 'Puffed Rice' was 'Shot from Guns'?
Well, it still is.
Disguised as a German officer, Karl Rove has been
using the Enigma Machine in an attempt to confound
Democrats in the fall elections. What he doesn't know
is that a Democrat, disguised as Alan Turing, has it all
figured out and is reading 'Bush's brain' like a dime novel.
British policemen never look forward to
National Shoe Fly Day.
Pope Benedict Wipes Egg Off Face Before Eating Crow
"I'm saying that nobody knows what humiliating treatment is.
What does it mean?" It means you are Stephen Hadley, National
Security Adviser, and you are playing the fool on national television.
Indonesian Muslim Nonviolently Disagreeing
with the Pope

Sunday, September 17, 2006

When DHS Secretary Michael Chertoff 'makes eyes' at one
of his subordinates, it only means, "You're so far down the
chain of command you're lucky to be a missing link."
What if, suddenly, all of the metallic weapons
on Earth were suddenly sucked into space
by a giant electromagnet? Wouldn't that
be wonderful? Yes, it would. But, the
day after that, people would still be killing
each other with all sorts of non-metallic objects,
including their bare hands. So, buy a gun, join the
NRA, and become a law-abiding pessimist.
Just ask Jonathan Woodgate and Thierry Henry what
it's like to play soccer in a gravity-free environment.
Jessica Valenti, the young woman in the center of this
group portrait, has apologized to Ann Althouse for having
a nice pair of knockers and for not being 55-years-old.