Saturday, September 08, 2012

Paul Ryan Lies Low and Lies High to Prep for
Biden Debate
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #150
Steve King and Warner Todd Huston
Benjamin Franklin Discovers the 
Photo ID
To be a patriot in Pennsylvania these days, you have to
show ID to prove it.
Troglodytes, like Erick Erickson, are given airtime on the 
cable networks, like CNN, because they stir controversy 
and attract earballs and eyeballs to the commercials on 
which the networks are based.  First and foremost, the 
cable news networks are corporations whose bottom
 line is to make money and turn a profit.
Warm Scuzzies #321
Emmett C. Burns, Jr.
Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #15
Casey Mulligan
Thompson Family, Star of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo,
 Still Undecided Who to Vote For in 2012

Friday, September 07, 2012

As TV ratings have demonstrated rather convincingly, who 
needs a President of the United States when you have
Honey Boo Boo?
Not all Republicans are as stupid as John Husted,
Ohio's Secretary of State.  That's not saying a
whole lot, you understand.
Thomas Friedman works for the New York Times and lives
in a multimillion-dollar house.  He is an opinion leader who
wants you to move to the Center.  The Center is where 
nothing ever changes, where Thomas Friedman works for
 the New York Times and lives in a multimillion-dollar house.
Justice Anthony Kennedy Sez:  "I agree with your argument
entirely.  Since Supreme Court justices never sing, there's
no reason whatever for us to be wearing choir robes."

Paul Ryan Emphatically Denies He Ever
Participated in the Pikes Peak International
Hill Climb While Impersonating Mr. Bean
Gina Rinehart's Favorite Hangout
Come to Texas, Drive Like TRON!
In another proud display of his 'Economic Patriotism', 
Professor Glenn Reynolds is flying the Stars and 
Stripes at half mast today in celebration of 'The Awful, 
Awful August Jobs Report'.
“I think John Kerry diminished himself by even mention-
ing my name," Sarah Palin says.  Would to God everyone 
in the media would learn from Senator Kerry's mistake
and never, ever mention her name again!
Humans are always looking for new ways to compete.  The
reason:  so there can be winners and losers.  The idea is
that if you're a winner, you become immortal and won't
die.  Only losers die.
"Arbeit Macht Frei!"
Ross Douthat Sez: "For the most part Obama's 
speech felt surprisingly banal and jury-rigged,
 not nearly douchey enough to suit me."
Paul Ryan Before He Climbed Close to 40 of 
Colorado's Fourteeners

Paul Ryan After He Climbed Close to 40 of
Colorado's Fourteeners
“If you wouldn’t have been at the bar that night, 
none of this would have happened to you,” said 
Judge Jacqueline Hatch (shown above).
"And if I weren't at the Bar of Justice today, I 
wouldn't be lectured to by a self-righteous prig
like you," said the victim of sexual assault by 
a police officer.
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #417
Roscoe Bartlett
What three-letter word is not found anywhere in the 
Consitution of the United States?  That's right:  G-O-D.  
Talk about separation of church and state! As the late 
Pastor W. A. Criswell might have said, “This Constitution 
is a figment of some infidel’s imagination.”
World's Worst Yobs #264
Daniel Halper
Nicki Minaj Endorses Mitt Romney
Myth Romney
"I'm gonna Reince this Priebus right outta my hair!"

Thursday, September 06, 2012

If she were alive today, Mary McCarthy might say of 
Paul Ryan, "Every word he speaks is a lie, including
 'and' and 'the'."
If humans ate humans, Steve King would be considered
junk food.
World's Worst Yoobs #124
Alexandra Petri
"You say my tax returns have been kidnapped and are 
being held for ransom?  That makes my brain hurt!"
When he claimed he had made "close to 40 climbs of 
Colorado's 'Fourteeners' (14,000-foot peaks)," Paul Ryan 
wasn't saying he had actually hiked all the way to the 
top of these mountains.  He was merely saying he
 had made "close to 40 climbs."  In other words, if he
had walked only ten yards up the trail, he would have
been 'climbing', wouldn't he?
Erick Erickson, Author of The Penis Monologues and 
CNN Affirmative Action Baby, Steps In It Again
Omnipresent God Reportedly Happy to Be Back in
Democratic Party Platform

Wednesday, September 05, 2012

Mitt Romney has decided to take advice from Allen West
on how to dialogue with the black community.  Romney
apparently wants to see if it's possible for his support 
among African-Americans to drop below 0.0%.
Things to Avoid #25
Gina Rinehart When She's Hungry
Two-Minute Haters #32
Hank Williams, Jr.

Tuesday, September 04, 2012

Fox News' Brett Baier Asks Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL) Why 
There Is No Mention of God, Yahweh, Jupiter, Odin, Allah, 
Shiva, or Quetzalcoatl in the Democratic Party Platform
Bearded Heckler Believes in America, 
But Not in Romney
Tongue Suppresor

Voter Suppressor
Paul Ryan Sez:  "In 1980 under Jimmy Carter, 330,000 
businesses filed for bankruptcy. Last year, under President 
Obama’s failed leadership, 1.4 million businesses filed 
for bankruptcy."  [The correct numbers are:  43,000 
business bankruptcies in 1980, 47,000 in 2011.  Quite
appropriately, when Ryan uttered this lie, he was using
the gesture known as, 'It takes two hands to handle
a whopper'.]
World's Worst Yoobs #123
Alessandra Stanley
R-Money/R-Nay, the Anagram Ticket of the 
Etch a Sketch Party
Haley Barbour Sez:  "I would love for Christie to put 
a hot poker to Obama’s butt."
New McDonald's 'Vegetarian-Only' Restaurant to Be 
Named 'Akbar and McJeff's Tofu Hut'
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #416
Rick Berg
Amy Kremer, Chair of the Tea Party Express, loves her
country more than President Obama does.  That's because
Amy is from Absurdistan and the President is from the
United States.