Saturday, January 28, 2017

"That's another thing. Meathead. Why must you always 
call me Meathead?"
Captain Alt-Kangaroo
World's Worst Yobs #377
Jazz Shaw
Let it be understood that not all fat persons are dirty
nor are all dirty persons fat.
Don't call it 'Trumpcare'. Call it 'TrumpDontGiveaShit'.
Know Your Lunchmeat
"Our REAL problem is that many men have no choice but to 
rape because they have no opportunities to date attractive 
women, like me."
Richard Nixon had the backing of the Silent Majority.
Donald Trump has the backing of the Invisible Majority.
The Great Ugly Balloon Race of 2017
“Anyone who knows Paul Ryan knows he doesn’t have a 
mean-spirited bone in his body. In fact, like me, he doesn't 
have ANY bones in his body."
Kellyanne Conway Shows Up for the
Battle of Bunker Hill 242 Years
Too Late
"O Kellyanne, rentest thou thy face from Dr. Lao?"
Extreme Vetting
Trump Finds New Home as Mascot for Cracked

Friday, January 27, 2017

Don't forget to remove the seed of that
Mexican avocado you paid 20% more
for to build Trump's Wall.
"I signed this all by myself.  I have the best penmanship."
Of course the media is the 'opposition party', Mr. Trump. 
 That's why the First Amendment prohibits government
from abridging the freedom of the press.
Headlines We Like to See #10
'The end of Sarah Palin is here.'
Lest the mystique of his Golden Coiffure be dispelled,
Trump needs to wear a hairnet when he boards
Marine One.
"Leave Barron alone!"
"Trump doesn't have to give a gag order to make me gag. 
I gag reflexively at the sound of his voice and the look on 
his face."
Media Agrees to Shut Up and Listen When Steve Bannon
Sobers Up, Showers, Shaves, and Combs His Hair
"Big bottom
Big bottom
Talk about bum cakes
My Prez's got 'em.
Big bottom
Drive me out of my mind.
How can I leave this behind?"

Thursday, January 26, 2017

Sean Spicer Showing How to Hold a 1/2 Pound Six Dollar 
Nothingburger from Carl's Jr.
Six days into his administration and Trump's approval 
rating has dropped to 36%. He still has a ways to go
before he surpasses Dubya's 25%.
Trump Holding His Copy of My First Coloring Book
"Have I told you how sick I am of me?" Kellyanne Conway
 asks. That makes it unanimous: EVERYBODY is sick of 
Kellyanne and her lying eyes, ears, nose, and throat.
"Talk to the hand, America, talk to the hand!"
What Kellyanne Conway Read as a Child
“Better to get your news directly from 
Der Trumpenf├╝hrer. In fact, it might be 
the only way to get the unvarnished truth.”
We now have two Annoying Oranges to deal with.
Paul Ryan says there are 'different ways of defining' just
 how Mexico will pay for Trump's Wall. One way would be
for the U.S. to pay the wall-builders' wages in pesos.
What had long been expected has now been confirmed:
Paul Ryan is a charter member of the Soupy Sales Society.
"Bring me the head of whoever put up the Resist sign
in the Oval Office!"