Saturday, October 24, 2009

Dallas Motorists Ticketed for Driving Under
the Influence of Español
Warm Scuzzies #27
Andrew Klavan
"Living life is fun and we've just begun
To get our share of the world's delights
High hopes we have for the future
And our goal's in sight
No we don't get depressed
Here's what we call our golden rule
Have faith in you and the things you do
You won't go wrong
This is our family."
"Incoming shoe, Commander Bush!"
"Shields up!"
Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #42
Grumpy Old Man Receives 'Keeper
of the Flame War' Prize

Friday, October 23, 2009

I Remember Dubya #29
The day finally arrived when Dubya began to regret
appearing in front of the 'Mission Impossible' sign
after landing on that aircraft carrier in 2003.
Fearguth's Rules of Order #35
As a general rule, a monkey would rather receive
a banana than to be flogged with a codfish.
Rightbloggers and Other
Internet Biohazards #16

Public Option

Robust Public Option
World's Worst Yoobs #55
Jay Newton-Small
Soupy Sales Dies from Cream Pie Overdose
'We're Too Rich': Affluent Americans Petition
to Pay More Taxes

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Old Bay

Older Bay
World's Worst Yobs #138
Ken Rudin
When you color, remember to stay within the lines.
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #29
Dick Morris and Ken Eliasberg
"I turned to Bernie Kerik," says Rudy Giuliani, "and
said 'Thank God George Bush is our President.'"
Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #41
World's Worst Yoobs #54
Ruth Marcus

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

"Watch out for Logical Fallacy #12! It's called
'Washington Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc', and
it's Fred Hiatt's favorite!"
Is Fearguth afraid of dying? No. But he IS afraid
of being 'monetized'.
Just think: in ten more years, you'll be able to see
Still Sentient at 90: Slate's Short List of the Most
Powerful Nonagenarians
When you go in for your quarterly dental
prophylaxis, don't forget there's a good
reason why hygienists nowadays always
wear gloves.
Jonah Goldberg Cites Rise of NeoNazi Gnomes
as Further Evidence of Liberal Fascism
On the lecture circuit, Ben Shapiro is knocking
his audiences dead with his timely talk, 'Will
We Allow Meghan McCain's Barely Clad

 Big Bust Make Suckers of Us All?"
Betsy McCaughey Searching Her Paper Copy of Google
As a general rule, we don't like to see artists starve.
But as is true of most rules, there are exceptions.
I Dream of Sealy Posturepedic
Membership in the Absolutely Right Political Party had
dwindled down to two. And each of these had begun to
harbor doubts about the ideological purity of the other.
So it was growing increasingly likely that there would
have to be one more purge.
Glastonbury Reveller Apparently Unconcerned
Crocs Manufacturer Lost $185 Million and Laid
Off 32% of Its Workforce
You can always measure the effectiveness of a bold
act by the number of concern trolls it arouses.
In 1957, Chairman Mao said, "Conditions are changing
all the time, and to adapt one's thinking to the new
conditions, one must study." If you want to have a
future in public life and don't desire to become
a target of Fox News, never quote these words
(as Fearguth just has)!
Finally, a war we can believe in!
Good Tapper

Bad Tapper
When the Chairman of the American Conservative Union
says to you, "I’m not going to hit you, but I’d like to. …
You’re a jerk. … You’re a scumbag. … You’re an asshole."
--- you must be John Ziegler.
Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #40

No Strollers on Escalator

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

"I'd really like to show you my gun, but that would
be against the law, so I'll just show you my pistol."
"So what if only 20% of the American people say they are
Republicans! I look at it this way. Even though I have less
than 20% of the hair left on top of my head, that doesn't
mean I'm bald. It just means there's plenty of room to
build a big tent up there."
Yum's Earnings Dragged Down Largely by
Cillizza Hut's 13 Percent Drop in Sales and
One-Time Charge Related to Collapse of
Mouthpiece Theater
Rudy Giuliani Buys Scratch-Off Lottery Ticket,
Wins Season Pass to Bernie Kerik's Jail Cell
Carrie Prejean's Stunt Breasts Face Uncertain Future;
"Foreclosure a Definite Possibility," Some Analysts Say
"I shit you not, Senator! On a good day at AIG, we could
land suckers THIS. FUCKING. BIG. as fast as we could bait
our hooks with Credit Default Swaps."
"I'm ridin' a small tiny hoss
(His name is MIGHTY LITTLE)
He's a good hoss
Even though he's a bit dinky to strap a big saddle or
Blanket on anyway."
"What do you do way down there in Mississippi,
Congressman Harper?"
"I hunt liberal, tree-hugging Democrats, although it does
seem like a waste of good ammunition. I probably should
just lynch 'em, like my Daddy--and his Daddy--did."
Imagine a mountain which is just a pile of molehills.
That's Bill Bennett.