Saturday, September 01, 2007

When someone suggested President Bush had nobody’s shoulder
to cry on, he said: “Of course I do, I’ve got God’s shoulder to
cry on, and I cry a lot.”
"Whaddya mean OxiClean can't remove the Iraq War
stain from my legacy?"
World's Worst Jobs #52
Palestinian Dump Digger

World's Worst Yobs #19
Michael Medved
In the time it took to destroy this old weapon,
one hundred new weapons were built.

"I feel free, I feel free, I feel free!"
Lobbyist Greasing the Skids for Condi Rice's
Return to Stanford University

Friday, August 31, 2007

Next Generation with the National Debt on Its Back
"Grecian Formula, why hast thou forsaken me?"
Fearguth Reaches a Milestone: Post 5,280
Things began to look up the day the talking head
talked and nobody listened.
In the movie, My Big Fat Iraq Fuckup, this is
the scene where Tony throttles George.
Tommy Haas was so hungry he began to
gnaw on one of his balls.
"Which was dumber, Tony: me breaking my wrist on
the set, or you joining the Bush Administration as
press secretary?"
It's surprising what you can accomplish
when you give up sex.
Little Girl Reacts When Hillary Says She Didn't Know
Norman Hsu Was a Crook
"Zeke, I told you to lay off the fabric softener.
Now look at you!"
No doubt about it: somebody had knocked the
stuffing out of Fatih Solak.
Elephant Sit-Down Strike Enters Third Week
World's Worst Yobs #18
John Hinderaker
Why War Is Bad #2
It creates more places for pigeons to nest.
President Bush in Closed-Door Meeting Today with Joint Chiefs

"You didn't ask for my opinion, but I'll give it to you anyway.
We dragonflies would rather eat mosquitoes than read what
David Ignatius has to say in The Washington Post."
"You must understand that not all voters are created equal.
Mr. al-Maliki was only elected by the Iraqi people. I am being
elected by U. S. Senators and the CIA."

Thursday, August 30, 2007

"Any sign of the stork yet, dear?"
Serena Changes Name to Passionata
Jiang Musheng claims eating live frogs works 
better than Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra. He says 
the only side effect is he sometimes feels 
little jumpy.
George Bush has hired a prominent author to assist him
in writing a memoir of his years as President of the United
States. When published, the title will be My Pet Ghost.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Sometimes an umbrella is the world's greatest invention.

Sometimes it isn't.

The Unexpurgated Bible #2
Archaeologists Excavating Mt. Ararat Uncover Unfinished
Ark; Discovery Suggests Noah Was a Slacker; Find May Also
Explain Why the Post-Diluvian World Has Turned Out
So Badly
"If you said, 'George Bush can take his request for another
$50 billion for the Iraq War and shove it up his ass!', I hear
you. If you didn't, say again."
Naked Celibates Misspell 'Nookie'

President Bush tried to park his Legacy in New Orleans today,
but he couldn't because the parking space was still under water.
It was at the picnic Monica Goodling first saw the light,
namely, that 'It's not what you know but who you know'
was not only the philosophical foundation of the Bush
Administration but was also the secret of her success.
Observers say it won't be too hard to fill Alberto Gonzales' shoes.

"Tony, I have an idea. Break your wrist, I'll sign your
cast, auction it on eBay, and then maybe you'll have
enough money to tide you over until the end of the
Bush Administration."
George Bush and Karl Rove, Two Men Who
Will Go Down, Down, Down in History
Venus Williams Rendered À La Marcel Duchamp
Carnivorous Slinky Goes on Rampage
Low Riders

Lower Riders

President Bush As We Will Remember Him

"Mustn't .. fail .. field .. sobriety .. test.
Walk ..... and ..... Turn."
Still Life with Presidential Limousine and Street Sweeper

"I am not gay. I never have been gay. I'm sure all my friends
in the gay and lesbian community are relieved to hear that."

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Chongqing, China has made a bid to host the 2008
Republican National Convention. Backers of the bid
point out that the city is the site of the world's largest
public restroom: 1,000 toilets in a building four-stories
tall with over 32,000 square feet. A spokesman for the
city says, "We are spreading toilet culture. Republicans
can listen to gentle music, make friends, and watch TV.
After they use the bathroom, they will be very, very happy."
Marianne and the goat were getting long just fine
until she uttered the word, "cabrito."
"Larry Craig is a supremely arrogant, lying crapweasel."

"Hey, what's my picture doing on the front page of
USA Yesterday?"