Alien Erupts Just in Time to Join Trump's Dream Team

"Don't tread on me!"

Warm Scuzzies #585

William Bradford

Glenn Beck Sez:  "Every single one of us 

should read Ezekiel."

Turd Smoking a Turd

Sarah Palin Gears Up for Big ESPN Hunting Safari

Miley Cyrus Self-Identifies as a

'California-Style, Deep-Dish Pansexual'

"Since you have said the Bible is your favorite book, what

is your interpretation of Luke 6:24, where Jesus says,

'Woe unto you who are rich'?"

"I don't want to get into verses, I don't want to get into—

the Bible means a lot to me, but I don't want to get into 

specifics."

Although you can't see it, Marco Rubio has his hand in

one of Norman Braman's deep pockets.

"What is your name, please?"

"Joe Cruz and Ted McCarthy.  I'm schizo, you see."

World's Worst Jobs #137

Bangladeshi Gravel Crushers

"I should have used Preparation H®."

Having gone through three lawyers in three months, 

people began to suspect Ken Paxton had joined the 

Attorney-of-the-Month Club.

Warm Scuzzies #584

Kim Davis

Donald Trump isn't running for President as much as he

is running for Insulter-in-Chief.

Niall Ferguson has written a new

fable, Henry Kissinger's New Clothes.

"Look!  Up in the sky!  It's a bird!  It's a plane!

It's Mothra!  It's the Twin Jet Nebula!"

How to Recognize Different Kinds 

of Pond Scum

No. 1: 'The Zimmerman Dinoflagellate'

Warm Scuzzies #583

Stephen Ruth

Warm Scuzzies #582

John E. Sununu

Donald Trump Sez:  "Excuse me, sit down. You weren't

 called. Sit down. SIT DOWN!! You haven't been called!"

By making Sam Clovis his new national co-chairman and

policy adviser, Donald Trump demonstrated once again

his commitment to minority outreach and 'Big Tent 

Republicanism'. 

Vicious Cycle

Attention Ohio 'Illegals'

Sheriff Fu Manchu is watching you!

Duke freshman Brian Grasso says that were

he to read Fun Home: a Family Tragicomic,

he would have to gouge out both of his

eyes and throw them away.

"Go back to Univision, Jorge, or my man from the

 Bullethead Gestapo will kneecap you!"

Ann Coulter and Megyn Kelly Settling Dispute over 

Donald Trump's Crude and Irresponsible Attacks

on Professional Journalism

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the beach!

"Donald Trump, leave Megyn alone!"

Kelly-Trump-Ailes: Three Peas in a Pod

The Pouter Pigeon, Official Bird of the Trump Campaign

The Child Is Father to the Man

Donald Trump, a Man So Charismatic He Had Them

Prophesying and Speaking in Tongues

Child Finds Loaded Gun, Empty Heads

in North Carolina Church

Trumpite and His Flaming Jizz Thrower

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #119

The Guy in the White Fucking Hat

White Supremacist Craig Paul Cobb Endeavoring to

Establish Church of Trumpology in Antler, North Dakota

"When I use the phrase, 'anchor babies', I'm

not referring to Latinos as much as I am

Asian-Americans, like Piyush Jindal."

Adding insult to injury, Frazier Glenn Cross is not only

a white supremacist, anti-Semite, and murderer; 

he's also butt ugly.

AUTOMOTIVE EVOLUTION

Truckster, 1983

Trumpster, 2015

Lest he be blinded by his own whiteness, Rush Limbaugh

 has to shade his eyes.

Warm Scuzzies #581

Sam Rader

Anchor Baby Grows Up to Be

Anchor Governor

Old Men with Guns #27

Kevin Daigle

"I know how Billy Graham felt. I take the

Bible all the way."

Ben Carson Alerts America to the 

Security Risk Posed by the 

Rio Grande Cave People

"I can see that brushing your baby's face with Colgate® 

Optic White three times a day really works."

"Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, yes suh!"

"I'll be honest with you.  Even I think The Donald's face 

reminds me of a festering gob."