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Bildungblog
Saturday, August 12, 2006
The soldier was told that smoking would kill
him before
he
reached old age. He replied that he was John McClane and
that before he quit smoking, he
was going to wipe out
Hezbollah in his
new movie,
Die Hard IV: Muslim
Fascists
Finally
Meet Their Match
.
Having failed to misrepresent their opponents by means of the
Fallacy of the Straw Man, neoconservatives are now trying
to save their bacon with the Fallacy of the Straw Pig.
Little Big Man Lamont knew if Big Head Lieberman
ever
caught him,
he was going to get the beating of his life.
But that
wasn't going
to happen
because Little Big Man Lamont
was
fleet of foot and his pursuer Big Head
Lieberman
was
morally obligated to one of his campaign contributors
to
wear
Quikrete
Commercial
Grade
Cement Shoes.
When the surface of our planet is nothing more than a mosaic
of cracked earth, Republican James Inhofe will still be hauling
ass in a dune buggy,
singing his
biggest hit,
'Pimp My Ride,
Big Oil,
Pimp My Ride'.
At first, the Orange Alert had two legs to stand on.
Then it had one.
Then it had none.
World's Worst Jobs #2
Iraqi Salt Shoveller
Psicobloc is a type of rock climbing sans ropes,
but,
at least
so far, not sans water
to cushion your
fall
.
One
of these days,
however, there will
no doubt
be
psychobloc
climbing,
sans
ropes
and
sans water. Then when you fall,
someone will use
a Swiffer WetJet to clean up the mess.
Cauliflower McPugg Demonstrates His Trademark Punch,
the Right Double Cross
Neoconservatives have been shitting so many bricks
over
Joe Lieberman's defeat in the Connecticut Democratic
primary that hod carriers are working overtime trying to
keep
them neatly stacked.
Aeronautic Policeman On the Lookout for Terrorists
Disguised as Avon Ladies
This sculptor's artistic medium is butter. Here he is
at work on his latest creation, entitled 'Mother, Calf,
and Pussycat Refusing to Laugh at Fat Jokes'.
Israel Purchases M26 Rockets from US
with Money from US
Birdwatching in time of war is risky but rewarding.
Beachcombers Find Rare Sea Horses, Complete with Jockeys
Friday, August 11, 2006
Daniela Hantuchova Introduces Revolutionary
Headless Tennis Racquet and Invisible Ball
"Stick my head in the sand? Get serious!
I
stopped doing
that when I moved on to greener
pastures years ago."
Bull Exposed As Code Pink Interloper
This is the pipeline that carries money from the pocketbooks
of
millions of Americans to the vaults of British Petroleum. Recently,
it became
clogged and had to be temporarily shut down when
too
many dollars tried to flow through
at the same time.
When President Bush couldn't bend steel with his bare
hands,
the
machinist knew he was dealing with another
Superman imposter.
"Think of it! I'm the fourth sitting Senator to lose a
primary election since 1980. I ask you: who else can make
that claim? Nobody!"
Members of Giraffes Unlimited offer this photograph
as proof that the bag limit needs to be raised.
Former Home of Republican Sugar Daddy,
Tom 'Carry Me Back to Old Virginny' DeLay
Svetlana Pospelova, Russia's Best Hope in This Year's
Gothenburg Face-Slapping Championship
Fan at This Year's Wonder Warthog Convention
The Philippine soldiers were so perfectly camouflaged
they took the protester completely by surprise.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Even though he was only four years old at the time,
Jacob Weisberg was already a jackass in 1968, the
year he first mocked the opponents of war.
This is 'The Presidential Bust of Hillary
Rodham Clinton:
the First Woman
President of the United States of America'.
This statue now sits in the Museum of Sex in New York City.
The subject of this work of art now sits in the
Senate of the
United States in Washington, DC. So much
sitting only
encourages
gravity
to
take its toll.
Regardless of what happens between now and November,
Joe Lieberman has to live with this fact:
fifty-two percent of
the voters
in the Connecticut Democratic Primary rejected him.
With an ego as big as his, that fact must be hard to live with.
"Joe, is that George Bush I smell on your breath?"
"My John Thomas, when fully extended, is only about
this long. But don't let the length fool you. As I learned
years ago, in the Land of Dickless Democrats, the Republican
with a two-inch Johnson is king."
Accustomed to the cool, dry air of the Andes,
the llama wondered what the deuce it was
doing in the Piney Woods of East Texas in August.
Some 500,000 bikers showed up in Sturgis,
South Dakota,
for the 2006 Black Hills Motor Classic. It was so quiet you
could almost hear an atom bomb drop.
On days that seem almost mild, the passenger compartment
of a
car can turn into an oven, especially if you live in the
Middle East.
This picture has been photoshopped to make it look
like a Lebanese woman with her two children walking
past
a crater on the
moon
. We know of course they
are
really walking on the same movie set in the Nevada
desert
used to produce fake pictures of the so-called
'moon landing'
in 1969.
Sunflower on Bush Ranch Speaks Out
"Global warming? Bring it on!"
The swimmer was warned that acid rain had turned
the water in the pool into a universal solvent. But she
jumped in anyway.
Santa Claus showed up a week early, muttering
something
about swapping Rudolph the Red-Nosed
Reindeer
for the star of
Racing Stripes
.
Lieberman Supporters Dogged by Lamont Shadow Warriors
We now know the fate of the peace dove. It was
offered as a sacrifice for the recovery of Fidel Castro.
Pope Benedict Climbs the Stairway to Heaven
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Joe Lieberman Fires His Entire Staff for
Mistaking
Him for a Democrat
Before the unfortunate incident at second base, he was known
as 'Handsome Hank'. Now his teammates refer to him as
'Old What's-His-Face'.
"Ooooweee! Next week on
Reality Remix
, the
Commander-in-Chief
will be busted to buck private
and assigned to latrine duty until the Battle of
Armageddon or until the sun dies, whichever
comes first."
Condoms to Go is now featuring the Trojan Nun
Total Body Prophylactic.
The driver has confirmed he had been
following
the
Bush Administration's
Roadmap to
Peace
in
the Middle East
when the bus overturned
in a bomb crater that wasn't on the map.
When Adam discovered the serpent could talk,
he wondered if he was the first to know.
Chopped Liverman
En masse, naked human bodies look like
writhing mealworms in a bird feeder.
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With the Rio Grande in the background,the Command...
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Synchronized Salah, With One Exception
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Lebanese Terrorists Hawking Hezbollah Merch
Isn't it amazing how some people can talk on thei...
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