Saturday, March 12, 2011

Concerned Trolls

Unconcerned Trolls
"Do not panic!  We have everything under control!"
"What I love about New Hampshire and what we have in
common is our extreme love for liberty. You're the state
where the shot was heard around the world in Lexington
and Concord. Minnesota's the state that supplied the
Tonka Trucks, loaded with Bisquick and Spam, that
helped George Washington defeat Benedict Arnold 
at the Battle of Little Big Horn."

“I have actually asked the Pentagon," said President Obama,
"whether or not the procedures that have been taken in terms
 of Bradley Manning's confinement are appropriate and are
meeting our basic standards. They assured me that they are.”
Warm Scuzzies #158
Ther-Rx Corporation
First, They Came for Wisconsin, and I Did Not Speak Out
As his home state of Oklahoma was burning to the ground,
Senator Inhofe continued to play his famous 'Global-
Warming-Is-Exaggerated' Fiddle.
World's Worst Yobs #212
Eric Bolling
President Obama Sez:  “Nuclear energy remains our largest
source of fuel that produces no carbon emissions. To meet
our growing energy needs and prevent the worst con-
sequences of climate change, we’ll need to increase
our supply of nuclear power. It’s that simple."
"Governor Branstad, why is it taking so long for the
Republicans to pass the 'Crazy, Give-a-Handgun-to-a-
Schizophrenic Bill'?"
"Some remember the cartoons from the history books.
There are people alive today that remember themselves.
Wheel barrows being, with cash being carried, to buy bread.
That was a cartoon, I saw it in my history book."
Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #49
The Hitcher 2:  the Eyes of Rutger Hauer
Warm Scuzzies #157
Carl Kruger

Friday, March 11, 2011

I Remember Dubya #46
"I bet you got A's in penmanship in elementary school,
Mr. President!"
"Wow, I've never seen a more artistic rendering
of the letter 'G' in my life!"
"I really like the way you hold your pen so
"Uh, Mr. President, I hate to remind you,
but you're beginning to color outside
the lines again!"
If our national debt looked as scary as Pat Boone, Congress
would raise taxes on corporations and the wealthy overnight.
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #104
Paul Broun, Luke O'Dell, Stuffed Mama Grizzly, and
Dudley Brown
Why is it always bad to open a can of worms,
but not a can of grasshoppers?
Robber Fly Sez:  "I don't understand why people are so
afraid to look me in the eyes."
Libyan Couch Potato Now Sitting, Still Waiting for Allah
to Give Him the Command to Stand
Appearances to the contrary notwithstanding, Treasury
Secretary Geithner insisted the sky was not falling.
"Have you ever noticed how my nose looks like
it would crawl off my face if I would let it?"
Remember those old ladies who were always
 clapping on Monty Python's Flying Circus?

Well, they still are, except now they're teabaggers.
The Unexpurgated Bible #51
"And it came to pass, while he was taking
 the Pledge of Allegiance, Mitch was parted
from them, and carried up into Heaven."
Centrist:  Well-to-Do Person Who Wants to
Maintain the Status Quo in Order to
Keep Your Hands Off His Stack
"Behold, a bright cloud overshadowed them: and behold a
voice out of the cloud, which said, 'This is my beloved Son,
 in whom I am well pleased; hear ye him'."
Gino Paoletti, Bristol Palin's New Heartthrob, Revealed to
Be Member of Berlusconian Sect of Christian Pantytheists
Two-Minute Haters #17
Peter King
[Click on Image to
Feel the Hate]
T-Shirt for Voters Now Suffering from Buyer's Remorse
"My toilets don't work in my house, and Joe the
Plumber never returns my calls. Who's to blame
for this? That's right: President Obama."
"I wish we had a Siberia," says Martin Harty, a New
Hampshire state representative, "so we could ship
the mentally ill, the retarded, people with physical
disabilities and drug addictions all off to freeze to
death and die and clean up the population."
Mr. Harty is 91 and, yes, he's a Republican.
"The government is taking over three Tylenol plants following
a blizzard of drug recalls and a Food and Drug Administration
criminal investigation into safety issues at the factories."

"We don't need no regulation
We don't need no quality control
No dark sarcasm in the board room
Regulators leave those corporations alone!"

"But as the ice ripped that hole in the Titanic," said
Michele Bachmann, "water started being taken on,
and the engineer came out and brought the blueprint
 of the Titanic. Water came into the first chamber,
spilled over to the second, spilled over to the third,
and by the time it filled up so many chambers, it
was over. It was impossible to resurrect that ship."
[Scholars are still divided over whether the
Minnesota Republican was comparing the
Titanic to the United States or to Newt
Gingrich's run for the presidency.]

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Even Congressman Barton laughed when he told
the joke about how ExxonMobil would go out of
business without taxpayer subsidies.
FLYING CARS: They're Coming Soon.  Really!
"Something the matter, dear?  You look white
as a sheet!"
See all those extra pounds Chris Christie lugs around?
It's not fat; it's bullshit.
Warm Scuzzies #156
Claire McCaskill
Dalai Lama Swears Off Politics, Opens NogginTops Store
"Since you were such a Centrist on Earth, Mr. Broder,
welcome to Purgatory.  Hope you enjoy the music!
Arizona Adopts Colt 45 as
Official State Malt Liquor
Fictionalized Life of David Broder Rockets
to #1 on New York Times Bestseller List
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #103
LaShawn Barbert and Ann Althouse
New Cache of Eva Braun Photos Shows
Al Jolson, But No Barack Obama

Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Smirking Chimp

Smoking Chimp
Is it accidental that Mexico, one of the most violent
countries in the world, is also the home of Carlos Slim,
the richest man in the world?
Private Sector Creates 192,000 New Dehumanizing, Dull,
Dirty, Dangerous, and Demeaning Jobs in February
"We understand, Mr. Gingrich, that to show
the love you have for your country, every
time you committed adultery you first sang
The Star-Spangled Banner and recited
the Pledge of Allegiance."