Saturday, July 14, 2012

"Better mobilize the Swat Team, sir.  
I think they mean business!"
Now that the 48-hour, Condi for Veep boomlet has subsided,
it's time for the 48-hour, Jan Brewer for Veep boomlet.
Karl Marx

Karl Marx's Son, Lionel
"I hope Peggy Noonan is right and Condi saves this
dull election."
The last time Mitt Romney dared to be photographed
with Dick Cheney was 2002.  That was ten years ago,
before Cheney had become more radioactive than
"Here's a novel idea:  demand that Obama apologize for 
all the lies you've told over the last two years!"

Friday, July 13, 2012

"'Bar codes', you say?  Must be something new."
"Yeah, they've only been around since 1974."
World's Worst Yobs #258
Glenn Kessler
On anybody else, it's just a hoodie.  On Geraldo
Rivera, it's 'thug wear'.
Warm Scuzzies #306
Jennifer Carroll

Thursday, July 12, 2012

"Have you ever wondered why my last name
 is 'Grassley'?  Not that many people have 
a surname like Grassley, even in Iowa.
Well, I have no earthly idea.  You don't
either, so you may as well not know
 as I do."
Republican Orangutan

Democratic Orangutan
Pyrrhic Victory
"Of course I'm a sucker, like all the other 
Dwarf Catfishes in this aquarium."

Is this man fishing for a living, living for
fishing, or lost in a reverie about Paul
Tillich's concept of the Ground of Being?
"Pronounce 'Salmon' anyway you wish.  
Just don't say 'Croquette!'"
Bottoms of Mitt Romney's Feet Said to Reveal 
Long-Unknown Secrets of Mormonism
After what happened to Jonathan Krohn, Bill O'Reilly 
doesn't shake hands with short people anymore.
"Hi, everybody!  Are you ready for something
completely different?"
Francesco Schettino Sez:  "Like America, I was a victim
of Manifest Destiny."

Sheldon Adelson Sez:  "How do you like
my new Glamour Shot?"
Q:  Does Mitt's Left Bain know 
what his Right Bain is doing?
A:  Yes.  Both sides know the other
side is lying.
First Americans Arrived Via Land Bridge in Three 
Waves: Second and Third Waves Asked by First
Wave to Show Papers
If anybody wants 'free stuff', Mr. Romney, 
it's a tax dodger like you!
Mitt Romney Trying to Remember Whether It's a Felony
to Lie On a Financial Disclosure Form or to Lie About a
Financial Disclosure Form

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #69
Cloverfield 2:  BOA!  BOA!  BOA!

Warm Scuzzies #305
Daniel Tosh
One of Mitt Romney's 'secret black supporters' was the 
dude playing the organ during his speech to the NAACP.
Kamikaze Golfer in the Rough
Swiss Miss Sez:  "Mitt Romney 
ought to move to Switzerland so
 that he can be closer to his money."
"Why isn't Obama afraid of me like the Republicans are?"

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

R. Emmett Tyrrell Asks:  "Why is FDR so big and why 
am I so small?"
World's Worst Yobs #257
Joe Kernen
Oxymorons for Our Time #130
Dirty Clean
Not since Cleopatra had such a famous female 
clasped an asp to her bosom.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

As you may have already come to realize, 
loving your neighbor as yourself is a damn
hard commandment to keep.

"Hey, I'm Chuck Colson, a dead Christian.  So, if you
don't mind, stop persecuting me!"
Advertising, n.  1.  Commercial lying.
2.  Privatized propaganda.
"When I was alive, I seldom appeared in public 
dressed like this.  But I'm now deceased, you 
know, and so I have dressed accordingly."
Psst!  When was the last time you had a Jolie-
Fil-A sandwich?  Well, neighbor, that's 
way too long!
"Yes, I'm a chameleon, but don't compare me to Mitt 
Romney:  he's a lizard of an entirely different color."
"Head & Shoulders?  Never heard of it!"
"Clearasil?  You've got to be kidding!"
'Statesman of the Year' and His Caddy on the Back Nine
The Day It Rained on The Donald's Parade
Poking her head out of the black Range Rover, the woman
 in the blue chiffon dress shouted, "Is there a VIP entrance
 to the Romney fundraiser?  We're VIP!"  To which the
 official greeter replied, "Yes, ma'am, it's right at the 
top of the ladder." 
Governor Christie Admits War on Obesity a Failure
When your omelet begins to remind you of Matt Drudge,
 you may be taking too many drugs.