Saturday, July 30, 2011

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #324
Kim Simac
Warm Scuzzies #204
Jarrod Martin
Matt Lewis & the News has about as much 'news' content
as Huey Lewis & the News.
"Now that Marcus and I have borrowed $417,000 for a
 golf-course home, a loan backed by Freddie Mac, we
believe this program should be dismantled before
other good conservative Republicans are tempted
 to become insufferable hypocrites."
Laughingstock Laughing
Squirrel Claims to Have Started Facebook 'Planking' Fad
Woman, 51, Miffed After Walmart Tells Her to Put
Shirt Over Torso, Gunnysack Over Head
Hitler Kitten Adopts Glenn Beck
60% in Latest Gallup Poll Tell the President,
"It's the Economy, Stupid!"

Friday, July 29, 2011

Monowi, Nebraska (population 1) is right down the
road from Duowi, Nebraska (population 2).
Does the Book of Mormon teach 'Baby Juggling'?
Having plead guilty to the charge of attacking Rupert Murdoch
with a shaving-cream pie, Jonathan May-Bowles said, “I
would just like to say this has been the most humble day
of my life."
Governor Christie had become such a dumpling people
started calling him Gnocchio.
Casey Anthony Offered $500,000 to Pose Nude in Hustler
as Part of National Anti-Smut Campaign
When asked why it took him ten years to finally
explain his slow reaction to the events of 9/11,
former President George Bush said he had
needed the time to "collect his thoughts."
Bush Slow to Explain Slow 9/11 Reaction; "I Wanted to
Project a Sense of Slowness," Says Former President
Governor Perry and a New Frontier
"Am I a Deadbeat Dad?  Sure I am, because this is where
real America is!"
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #323
Larry Klayman

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Was he S.O.B.-ing, or had he just teared up?
Does Chris Christie have the look of a President?

Sure.  Remember William Howard Taft?
The Unexpurgated Bible #58
"For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and
earth pass, every jot and tittle of Michele
Bachmann's life will be fully looked at and
 inspected, till all be fulfilled in November, 2012."
Piers Morgan Vigorously Denies Phone-Hacking,
Stogie-Puffing Charges
House Republicans Challenge Senate Democrats to a
Clockwork Orange House of Fun Barbed Wire Steel
 Cage Death Match
"Our friends in New York six weeks ago
passed a statute that said marriage can be
between two people of the same sex. And
you know what? That's New York, and that's
their business, and that's fine with me. That
is their call. If you believe in the 10th Amend-
ment, stay out of their business."
Rick Perry, July 22, 2011 

“I probably needed to add a few words after
that ‘it’s fine with me,’ and that it’s fine with
 me that a state is using their sovereign rights
to decide an issue. Obviously gay marriage
is not fine with me. My stance hasn’t
changed.  Indeed, to not pass the Federal
 Marriage Amendment would impinge on
Texas' and other states' right not to have
 marriage forced upon them by activist
judges and special interest groups."
Rick Perry, July 28, 2011
“Congressman Walsh, quit lying! Have you no shame, sir? You
 owe $117,000 in child support to your ex-wife and three
children.  Pay up and shut up!”
"O Lord, You are the Master of the Universe, You are the
Author and Finisher of our Faith, You are the Alpha and the
Omega, the Beginning and the End, Creator God, True
God, Almighty God, Everlasting Father, You are the
Great Most High. Lord, I thank You for what You have
done for this teabag and for how You are going to
expand it from single serve to family size."
"Tell us, Heap Big Indian Chief Standing Brave, why are
 you wearing a Confederate battle flag loincloth?"
Andrew Sullivan to Star in Night of the
Creepy Web Crawlers
"Like Michelle Malkin says, 'The Food Nazis won't
 rest until the Happy Meal has undergone the total
Berkeley makeover'."
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #322
Republic, Missouri ISD School Board
Bradlee Dean Sues Rachel Maddow for $50 Million, Needs
the Money to Hire Tamara Robertson, Hair Stylist and
 Makeup Artist for Michele Bachmann and Fox News
Phyllis Schlafly Added to National
Register of Historic Places
"Whaddya mean, 'the old McCain is back'?  I'm 75 for
chrissakes, and I never went away!"

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

When he heard John Boehner say, "Get your ass in line!"
the old man said, "I fart in your general direction."
McDonald's Happy Meal was happy today, but

Jesse's Girl wasn't.
"If, verily, it may seem good to you, O Primal Origin of My
Origination, translate me, now held by my lower nature,
unto the Generation that is free from Deficits; in order
that, beyond the insistent Debt Ceiling that presses on
 me, I may have a Vision of the Life-Bestowing
Balanced Budget."
Is this what they call an 'Unmanned Aerial Vehicle' (UAV)?
Can you imagine someone who believes his purpose in life
is to become a suicide bomber so that he can blow up the
Mayor of Kandahar?
The Trinidad Scorpion Butch Taylor chili pepper
measures a mighty 1,463,700 on the Scoville
heat unit scale compared to around 3,500 for
 the humble Jalape├▒o. Here's a way to settle
the debt ceiling debate:  representatives of each
side of the issue---let's say Obama, Boehner, and
DeMint---will masticate one of these suckers whole.
He who is left standing wins the debate. If no one
is left standing, three more representatives
will be chosen. And so on.
Newt Gingrich Closes Tiffany Account,
Callista Now Shopping for New Spouse
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #321
Charlie Webster
Warm Scuzzies #203
Anthony Trinca

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #320
Billy Long
Q: "How many Rand Paul's does it take
to screw in an incandescent lightbulb?"
A: "One, when he's not out haranguing
about 'Low-Flow Toilets'.  Two, when he is."
"Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord!"
World's Worst Yoobs #101
Katrina Trinko