Pussy Riot has been sentenced to two years in prison for 

'hooliganism'.  It would seem that Vladimir Putin's 

criminal justice system is not all that different from 

Joseph Stalin's.

Paul Ryan Selects His Mom to Be His Official Chaperone

for the Fall Presidential Campaign

"We understand, Mr. Fund, that your

actual birth surname was 'Fundament',

and that you shortened it to a four-letter

word to make it easier to spell." 

Should it be legal for people, like Kyle Joekel, to purchase

semiautomatic battle rifles?  This is what the two dead

sheriff's deputies in LaPlace, Louisiana would like to know.

Rock Band Considering Changing Name to 

'Rage Against the Romney Mechanism'

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #409

Larry Bailey

"Hey!  Mr. Tangerine Dreamboat, play a song for me

in the jingle-jangle morning."

Scott Taylor:  Swiftboater and Trained SEAL

In his new role as a Guardian columnist, Josh Treviño

will be writing 1,000-word essays whose purpose will be 

to explain his 140-character Tweets which everyone, 

except the author, misunderstands.

"Just remember, Paul:  on this starship, I'm Captain Kirk, 

you're Lieutenant-Commander Sulu, and Obama is 

Yarnek the Excalbian."

Michele and the Bachmanniacs are hell on 

golf carts.  Just ask Turf Cars in 

Council Bluffs, Iowa.

Romney/Ryan Platform Revealed

Warm Scuzzies #317

Paul Campbell Fields

Paul Ryan was against the stimulus before he was for the

stimulus before he was against the stimulus again.  Yes, 

Mr. Etch a Sketch certainly made the right choice for 

his running mate.

Dave Mustaine is a great example of why some people

shouldn't smoke dope:  it can make you paranoid as hell.

Thanks to people like John Derbyshire, Kalashnikoff, the

Russian gun manufacturer, now sells as many AK-47s in

the U.S. as it does to all of Russia's police and military.

"I see you have a pair of those new

Romney-Ryan Flip-Flops."

Pinocchio Joins Romney/Ryan Campaign as

'Minister of Truth'

Lying is the essence of evil, and Mitt Romney is the 

quintessential liar.

There was only one person Mitt Romney loved more 

than his wife, and that was Grandpa Walnuts.

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #408

Allen Quist

World's Worst Yoobs #121

Anne Sorock

"Yes, my child, corporations are people, too.

And they're always hungry.  Come closer."

Wayne had heard La Pierre translated from

French into English as 'The Dick' for too

long, and so he was finally going to do 

something about it.

,

"Hold on a goddam minute before I fade to black!  Do you 

know who I am?  I am Victor Davis Hanson, a person whose

job it is to keep you from forgetting people in the past, 

like me, for instance."

Vitruvian Man

Vitruvian Woman

"Anne, you won't believe how many

milligrams of caffeine I just scored!

And, get this: they didn't even ask 

for ID!"

Mitt Romney Demonstrating the Impossibility of 

Walking on Air

Mitt Romney Sez:  "This is what an angry and desperate 

President looks like."

Benjamin Netanyahu's face is anachronistic.  It belongs on

 a Jewish-American Mafia don of the 1950s.

In case you haven't heard, 'Fiscal Conservative' is 

Republicanese for 'Zombie-Eyed Grannie-Starver'.

The Unexpurgated Bible #80

"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for 

what fellowship hath Roman Catholics with Latter-Day Saints?

And what communion hath Pope Benedict with Joseph Smith?"

When Captain Louis Renault retired as 

Casablanca's prefect of police,

he launched a second career as the Republican 

Governor of Iowa. 

Rand Paul

Ayn Ryan

Saving Ryan's Privates

Warm Scuzzies #316

Fred Grant

The Curiosity Rover has discovered that the only fiscal

conservatives known to exist in the entire universe live

on Mars.

Donald Trump to Unleash 'Big Surprise' on 

Republican National Convention

General Sherman was wrong.  War isn't hell.  It's just 

good old-fashioned family entertainment.

Like Dinsdale Piranha, Paul Ryan was a cruel man.  

But, unlike Dinsdale, he wasn't fair.

Studies show it would be easier for Michael Yates--Jones-

boro, Arkansas, Chief of Police--to resign than it was for

Chavis Carter to shoot himself in the head with his hands

double-locked behind his back.

Ryan No Help to Romney with Stan Laurel Fans

Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #14

William Galston

Least Productive Congress on Record Awarded

Lowest Approval Rating on Record

Ladies, if you can shoplift a 42" TV between your thighs, 

people are going to start saying you're just too damn big.

Contrary to popular belief, Paul Ryan, the author of five 

unpopular sweeping reforms, did not invent the Swiffer.

Mississippi to Change State 

Nickname from 'The Magnolia 

State' to 'The Fatty Arbuckle State'