Saturday, June 04, 2016

Trucker Hat Holds Press Conference After 
Surgery to Remove Yoooge Tumor
At a mere 5 mm in length, the Peacock Spider shows you 
don't have to be big, rich, famous, or powerful to be a dancer.
Little did they know the camel would have them arrested 
for 'public display of affection'.
Do you ever feel over-smoked?
Were he to ever say, "I made a mistake," Donald 
Trump would collapse like a Jenga Tower.
Like Little Egypt, Paul Ryan crawls on his belly 
like a reptile.
If you go to, the official website of the
Republican National Committee, you will find
no mention of Donald Trump.

Friday, June 03, 2016

"I don't have thin skin!"
Zachary Taylor Endorses Donald Trump, Believes Trump
 Can Demolish the Republican Party as Totally as He
 Did the Whig Party
Gentleman Perry Urges Gentleman Trump to 
Peel Lady Clinton's Skin Off

Thursday, June 02, 2016

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #137
Talk Dirty to Us, Donald!
"Lord save us!" cried Dab-Dab the duck. 
"How does it make up its mind?"
"It doesn't look to me as though it had any," 
said Jip the dog.
"Ken Paxton is sure looking pale these days."
"Yeah, to keep his crooked ass out of jail,
his lawyers are bleeding him dry."
"My left nut is money, my right nut is lawyers, and
they're both yoooge."
Trump Marks His Territory

Wednesday, June 01, 2016

"You say, Mr. Starr, 'The captain goes down with the ship'.  
Does that include the hat?"
A Fool and His Money Are Soon Parted by Another Fool
Donald Trump promises to do to America what 
Hugo Chavez did to Venezuela.
Meanwhile, the Banana Republican Dreamed His Dreamy Dream
What if Barack Obama had called an ABC News reporter
 'a sleaze' in 2008?  It's highly unlikely he would be 
President Obama eight years later.
There's a reason why Trump's hair seems more
golden than ever.
Call It 'Political Recalibration'
North Korea Praises 'Wise' Fling Poo,
Slams 'Dull' Clinton

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #660
Danny Perkins
Were Trump to start flinging peanut butter
instead of poo, should it be creamy or
extra crunchy?
"What is oblong and purple and raisin hell?"
"Wingnut Commander the Grape."
"Oh, lookie, it's Rocky the Flying Squirrel!"
Remember They Live?
Let Not the Sun Go Down Upon Your Wrath
Matt Groening's New Book

Monday, May 30, 2016

It Came from Beyond the Planet of the Ultra-Vixens
"What is Pocket Gopher saying about Trump these days?"
"Nothing.  All it does is snort in disgust."
Travelers on World's Biggest Cruise Ship Complain, Say 
Ship Should Be Re-Christened, Disharmony of the Seas
Snipers Take Aim at American Sniper,
Blow Big Hole in His Curriculum Vitae
Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #137
Rambo 5: The VA Years
On this Memorial Day, let us remember Dick
 Cheney, the draft dodger who sent 4,492 
U.S. soldiers to die in Iraq.
Like The Shadow, this Pure Libertarian clouds men's 
minds so they cannot see him.
Tourists Waiting Expectantly for Cruise Ship USS America 
to Go Over Niagara Falls
Dissing Susana Martinez, the Republican Governor of 
New Mexico, was a threefer for Trump: he thumbed 
his nose at the GOP, Latinos, and women.
Hipster Lincoln Drinks PBR, But He Doesn't Endorse It
"If you looked like me, you would be a jihadi, too."

Sunday, May 29, 2016

Roaches had outlasted the dinosaurs, but Joe and Mika
 posed a serious existential threat.