Saturday, August 24, 2019

Warm Scuzzies #885
Carey Wright
Haley-Pence Rivalry Heats Up
It's Lunchtime at the G7 Summit
"And we have great mental illness," Trump said, 
laping again into Royal We Mode.
Trump Says Kim Jong-un Enjoys Testing Missiles and
Playing with His Santorum Extruder
Trump's Moleman Persona a Habitué of 
DC's Long-Abandoned Trolley Tunnels

Friday, August 23, 2019

James Fallows Sez: "If an airline learned that a pilot was 
talking publicly about being 'the Chosen One' or 'the King
 of Israel' (or Scotland or whatever), the airline would be
 looking carefully into whether this person should be in 
the cockpit."
It's Trump's Fantasy Island. We only live on it.
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #775
Douglas Belmore
Boris Johnson's Favorite Energy Drink
World's Worst Yoobs #207
Amy Wax
Freddie the Freeloader, the Well-Toned Bum
It Takes Two Hands to Handle a Whopper

Thursday, August 22, 2019

Famous Last Words
Good Grooming, the Tacit Dimension of International Amity
The Status of Franco-British Relations
New Press Secretary Thought to Be Overqualified for
Job in Trump White House
The Last Days of Moscow Mitch
Senator Tom Cotton Now Taking Credit for Planting
the Idea of Purchasing Greenland, Akansas in 
Trump's Head
In the old days, when you were past your prime, you were 
put out to pasture.  Today, when your Use By date draws
 nigh, you are put out to Fox News.
Son:  "Mom, Dad's acting like a quadruped again."
Mom:  "Pay him no mind, son.  He always behaves that
 way after he's had five shots of Donkey Piss Tequila."
Shameless Octogenarians in Park Charged with Bragging 
About Lewd Conduct
King of the Shmoos
Even when Trump poops in the punchbowl, Trumpniks
can't chug-a-lug it fast enough to keep it from overflowing.
Levantine Rebus 
Why is it legal for a restaurant employee in California to 
purchase a cache of weapons like this?  Perhaps Trump
can answer this question.
Department of Labor Statistical Error 
Described as 'Yoooge!'
World's Worst Yoobs #206
Katie Williams

Wednesday, August 21, 2019

What if you were promised one trillion one-dollar bills
 on the condition that you had to count them first at the
 rate of one dollar per second. Do you know how long it 
would take you to count them? Approximately 12,684
They Call Him 'Chinless Mitch'
Adventures in Aestheticism #207
Harry Potter Said It Better
And in the last days there shall arise the Great Trumpnik
Heresy of the Dual Kingship of Israel.
How long will it be before Trump starts tweeting passages
from The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion?
Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #189
Son of Lawnmower Man
Not since Bristol Palin appeared on Dancing with the
Stars nine years ago has the world held its breath in
anticipation of an Earth-shaking event.
Adventures in Aestheticism #206
Wayne Allyn Root argued that "Robert Mueller's 
investigation into Russian interference in the 2016
 election is motivated by 'penis envy', because
 'Mueller’s is smaller than Trump’s'."
"Recession?  No way!  I want to cut taxes just for the hell of it!"

Tuesday, August 20, 2019

Katharine Gorka says she stepped down as press secretary for
Customs and Border Protection because she wanted to spend
 more time with her flesh-eating plants.
Says a former American ambassador, "Mike Pompeo is like 
a heat-seeking missile for Trump's ass." Deep Asskisser, 
in other words.

Monday, August 19, 2019

Epstein's Half-Billion-Dollar Baby
Heather Mac Donald needs to take a crash course
 in graphology.
Trump Lashes Jerome Powell for His
'Horrendous Lack of Vision'; Fed Chair
Blames His Ophthalmologist
Marianne Williamson Vows to Remove Zombie Andrew 
Jackson Painting from Oval Office
Mark Halperin Has Risen from the Grave
and Written a Bloody Book!
Did you hear about the new Trumpnik
drinking game?
Before the police get too complacent, let us remember 
that anyone who owns an assault weapon is a 'potential
 mass shooter'.  And current estimates suggest that 
Americans currently own approximately three million
assault weapons.

Sunday, August 18, 2019

And won't Trump be surprised when She does.
Trump Sez:  "I'm the one calling the shots around here."