Saturday, September 15, 2018

The Quintessential Trump Rally
The Unexpurgated Bible #163
"Trump is not slack concerning his promise, as some men 
count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not
 willing that Ted Cruz should perish, but that he should
 come to repentance."
FEMA administrator Brock Long has been forcing
aides to shuttle him in government-issued vehicles
between Washington and his home in North Carolina.
As you can see, this really pisses Zombie Andrew
Jackson off.
Ted Cruz Sez: “Their favorite adjective for Beto is 
Kennedyesque. They all talk about his hair and
 his teeth. Their favorite adjective for me is 
McCarthyesque.  They all talk about my nose
 and my chin."
It would appear that those Nike shoe-burners were part
of a sinister Trumpnik conspiracy to raise Nike shares
 to an all-time high.

Friday, September 14, 2018

In Ontario, Canada, Ford stands for 'Fix or Repair Daily'.
Paul Manafort, the Once Brave and Unbreakable Flipper
Adventures in Aestheticism #94
Ecuadoran Police Have Protesters' Love to Keep Them Warm
World's Worst Yobs #399
Joey Wulfsohn
Take therefore no thought to explain Tomorrow:
explaining Today is all you have time for.

Thursday, September 13, 2018

Parental Discretion Is Advised
How long will it be before Trump starts denying that 
2,977 Americans died from the September 11 attacks, 
because Democrats just made up that number to 
make him look bad?
Adventures in Aestheticism #93
What say these conservative music fans burn all 
their Willie Nelson records and buy extra copies
of Ted Nugent's Love Grenade and Penetrator
“In the name of the Quicker Picker-Upper, 
I command Hurricane Florence to cease its 
forward motion and go harmlessly into the 
It used to be said that if his lips were moving, Trump 
was lying.  Now he doesn't have to move his lips.
Uncle Thomas Tries to Nail Spartacus
Booker to the Kross of Kavanaugh
Trump Sez:  "Puerto Rico was an incredible, 
unsung success."
The Cheeto Kid Goes to Chuck E. Cheese's
Genealogists hate people like Kim Davis.
Maryland real estate developer Matt Rosendale
 moved to Montana to be a 'rancher' about the 
same time Frank Zappa moved there to raise a 
crop of dental floss.
No, Matt Rosendale is not a Montana rancher, but he did 
binge eat a whole bag of Jolly Rancher hard candy as a child.

Wednesday, September 12, 2018

What theory best explains the
'Up Arrow' on the back
side of Melania's navy
shirt dress?
First Bag Lady
"Please, Br'er Cruz," pleaded Br'er Beto, 
"don't fling me in dat punk-rock patch!"
If you're a non-billionaire trying to influence 
Susan Collins's vote on Kavanaugh, you're a briber.  
If you're a billionaire, Susan says, "Send more
Brother Dearest
Adventures in Aestheticism #92
Nirmal Mulye Sez:  "I think it is a moral requirement to 
make money when you can . . . to sell the product for the
 highest price."
Warm Scuzzies #828
Nirmal Mulye

Tuesday, September 11, 2018

Alternate Facts
Trump Sez: “We haven’t seen anything like what’s 
coming at us in 25, 30 years. Maybe ever.”
Soon to Be a Major Motion Picture, Starring Rick
Moranis as Donald Trump
"Honey, I may be seeing things, but
I could swear I just saw two carrots
making out in the garden."
Rocky Balboa Impersonator
Observing 9/11
With the aid of Pat Robertson and his patented 'Shield of
Protection', Donald Trump has re-routed Hurricane
Florence so that it will make landfall in Elizabeth 
Warren's backyard.
Workmen Installing a Walk-in Tuba
"Everybody's disloyal, Junior, except you and me, 
and I'm not so sure about you!"
Adventures in Aestheticism #91

Monday, September 10, 2018

The only thing more fickle than the human heart
is Rick Scott.
Has someone ever thought to ask John Bolton why he
keeps a petrified wooly worm under his nose?
Alex Jones Proving Richard Nixon Has Roger Stone's Back
John Bolton's Cat
King of the Rocket Men
Wisconsin Voters Get Tired of
Dilly Dally Impersonator
The Golden Age of Ballooning
The Great GOP Texas Airlift
Trump Writes the 'Real Book' on 
His Administration
David Urban, a Trump strategist, is solid bone from
the neck up.