Saturday, May 10, 2014

Mothers of Invention

Mothers of Intervention
Like Dracula, the Vampire Monkey never drank wine.  But
it would kill for a banana daiquiri.

Friday, May 09, 2014

Luke Skywalker

Luke Floorwalker
Big Bigots, Little Bigots #37
David Benham
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #569
Mike Christian
Just to be clear:  Matthew Hagee is not

Pugsley Addams' older brother.

Thursday, May 08, 2014

Ultra-Modern Briefs Feature Secret Dick Cheney Pocket
Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #48
Daniel Henninger
First there was the man who mistook
his wife for a hat.

Then there was the man who mistook
his dick for a hat.
The Pinocchiosaurus was a living reminder that it was un-
wise for a dinosaur to lie about being Tyrannosaurus Rex.

Wednesday, May 07, 2014

What S. E. Cupp Looks Like When She's Being Bullied
by Bill Nye the Science Guy
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #568
Steve Hickey
Kevin Williamson Sez:  "I'm a borderline anarchist from 
Lubbock, Texas, for Pete's sake, albeit a pretty conserva-
tive borderline anarchist."
[Isn't 'conservative anarchist' an oxymoron?]
"Hi, my name is Thom Tillis and I'm nuttier than a fruitcake!"

Tuesday, May 06, 2014

Warm Scuzzies #464
Ken Paxton
"Democrats bragging about the number of 
mandatory sign ups for Obamacare is like me
 bragging about how ignorant and repugnant I
 can be without even standing up."
Ted Nugent's Got Wood

Monday, May 05, 2014

"Hey, Benghazi, Needle-Nose!"
"Who are you calling 'Needle-Nose', Hammerhead?"
Freddie the Freeloader Sez:  "Hey, buddy,
could you give me a lift to Bunkerville?"
Militiaman Jerry DeLemus apparently doesn't realize his
cammies were designed for the mountains of New
Hampshire, his home state, and not the deserts of 
Nevada, where he is playing the fool on behalf of
Cliven 'The Moocher' Bundy.
World's Worst Yobs #304
Joe Concha
Mona Sinclair Sez:  "If I had to marry Steve Wiles,
I would oppose same-sex marriage, too."

Sunday, May 04, 2014

"I don't give a rat's ass that the title has
 already been used by someone else!  
Killing Benghazicare will be the title of 
my next bestseller, or else!"
May the Firth of Forth Be With You!
"I will now read to you my latest poetic effusion,
'Two Twits Tweeting on Twitter'."
Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #47
Steve Wiles