Saturday, October 13, 2012

Damn!  MechaGodzilla will have to wait till Christmas to get 
his McRib sandwich fix.
The Day Rick Santorum's Mouth Got Cross-Threaded 
with a Corkscrew-Shaped Soft Serve
Join the Retro Revolution!

Mr. Sperm Sez:  "If you want to get technical,
Mr. Ryan, life actually begins before conception."
"I’m not familiar precisely with what I said, but I’ll 
stand by what I said, whatever it was, because, 
quite honestly, I have no idea where I stand on 
any of the issues at this point in the campaign."
Sign of the Times #29
Mitt Romney:  Warrior of the Post-Truthy Era
"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, 
perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer."
"Save us, O Lord, from Malarkey and Son!"
Lindsay Lohan Sez:  "Drink enough Mr. Pink and you'll
endorse anybody, even Mitt Romney."

"I want to make you ... uh ... a star!"

Friday, October 12, 2012

Warm Scuzzies #334
Jean-Claude Brizard
"You've never heard of Smiler Grogan, Mr. Ryan?
You gotta be shitting me!"
Most people Jack Welch's age take Gas-X when 
they feel a 'tweet' coming on. 
If you say Paul Ryan has 'bird legs',
that would be disrespectful.
"Joe, Paul tells me you made him 
look short on national TV."

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Paul Ryan Publishes His Autobiography,
Skinny Legs and All 
Mittens Had Lost His Mittens
"Ermahgerd, I see temple garments!"
Mitt Romney:  Polished Turd or Lacquered Stool?
As President Obama had learned the hard way, playing 
Whack-a-Mitt was harder than most people realized.
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #153
Amelia Hamilton and Tabitha Hale
"Most people don't know this, but my 'Theory
of Special Relativity' was formulated in 
response to a particularly bad hair day."
Thanks to Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan, we are now able 
to move beyond the common, everyday facepalm.
"Hi, I'm Vladimir Putin.  My grandfather was one of 
Stalin's cooks.  I've come a long way since 1952."
Pumping Irony
Albert Einstein Sez:  "Beware of Zontar, 
the Thing from Venus!"
Big Bigots, Little Bigots #14
Scott Lively
Warm Scuzzies #333
Scott DesJarlais
"What has two legs and only one ball?"
"A Cryptorchidist on Parade."
"Is that Joe Walsh or a horse's ass?"
"Is there a difference?"
'Watch for Biden to Come Out Swinging'

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

The Creature from Agenda 21 has escaped
 from the Republican Party Platform and is 
believed to be hiding in Area 51.
Netanyahu's Poodle
The only issue relative to Mitt Romney's mendacity is 
whether it is due to nature or nurture.
“There’s no legislation with regards to abortion that 
I’m familiar with that would become part of my agenda," 
Mitt Romney told the Des Moines Register on Tuesday.

“Governor Romney would of course support legislation
 aimed at providing greater protections for life,” Andrea Saul, 
Romney spokesperson, told National Review on Tuesday.
Sarah Palin Showing Us How to Fight
Terrorism by Shopping at Kmart®
"My momma always said, 'Romney is like a box of 
chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get'."
Warm Scuzzies #332
David Siegel
Ryan Introduces Plan to Voucherize Trick-or-Treating

Tuesday, October 09, 2012

Sign of the Times #29
Incontestable Assertion Meets 
Irrefutable Argument
Rebellious Sons Get the Jump on Father Fuqua
Arkansas Republican Loy Mauch 
has a pop quiz for us:  
1.“If slavery were so God-awful, why 
didn’t Jesus or Paul condemn it?" 
2. "Why was slavery in the Constitution?"  
3. "Why wasn’t there a war before 1861?"
Republican Genius Demonstrating the P90X Method
of Eating a Frankenweenie
Big Bird Sez:  "Get Michael Medved Off Wingnut Welfare!"
Mars Rover Encounters 'Shiny Object', Gets Distracted
Phyllophaga ailesii
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #152
Robert Stacy McCain and Ed Morrissey