Saturday, November 07, 2015

Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #163
Crackpot in a Crockpot
Border Patrol Rejects Body Cameras,
Claims the Devices Would Interfere
in Stopping Jihadists Snorkeling
Across the Rio Grande
Hey, a revised edition of Ben
Carson's autobiography has
just been published!
Lieutenant Charles Joseph Gliniewicz's Quaint Hairdo Blamed
 for His Embezzling, Sexual Harassment, and Faked Murder
"When I said I would like to have a beer with Malala, an 
underaged Muslim girl, that was just a figure of speech."

Friday, November 06, 2015

The Dakotaraptor, discovered in the Hell Creek Formation, 
lived during the Cretinous Period of the Republican Party.
'Pious fraud' (Latin: pia fraus) has been used since the 
17th century to describe fraud in religion. A pious fraud 
can be rationalized by arguing that the 'end justifies the 
means' (e. g., in the case of Ben Carson, electing a True 
Christian by whatever means necessary).
George Will Excommunicates Heretical Bill O'Reilly 
from Wholly Ronald Reagan Church
Aftermath of Bush Family Brawl Over Poppy's
New Book

Thursday, November 05, 2015

Egyptologist Taunting Ben Carson
Allegories for Our Time #35
Democratic Party Misleading the American Sheeple
Texas GOPer Kevin Brady Sez: "Soitenly! Whoop, whoop, 
whoop!  Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!"
The next time you tour the nation's Capitol, be sure
to check out the new statue Congress voted for in
honor of former Vice President Dick Cheney.
NASA just saw something come out of a black hole for the
 first time ever and Congress voted to call it 'Dick Cheney'
 and put in the Capitol.
Sure, Ben Carson is just another snake oil salesman,
but he's a 'Christian' snake oil salesman and that
makes all the difference.
Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #162
Ben Carson says the archaeologists are wrong: 
Egyptians didn't build the pyramids to bury pharaohs; 
Joseph built the pyramids to store Froot Loops.
New from Esquire Fashion
'100 Shoes a Centipede Needs'
Welcome to Kentucky,
the Throwback State
Joe, Matt, and Kim:  Three Stooges for a New

Wednesday, November 04, 2015

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #124
Ghost Rider 3: Johnny Blaze Flames Out
World's Worst Jobs #138
Myanmarian Brick Factory Worker
New Bernie Sanders Underwear Line Keeps Your Boys 
from Hanging Low and Wobbling To and Fro

Tuesday, November 03, 2015

Baby Meerkat Totally Captivated by Joe Scarborough's
Interview of Charles and David Koch on MSNBC,  'Liberal
 Media' Central
"Hey, GOP, want a foot massage?"
Sanders Admits He Doesn't Kiss That Many Babies and
Has Never Eaten a Pork-Chop-on-Stick
Total War Erupts When Twitter Changes
'Favorite' Symbol from Star to Heart
"'Just one lobe short of a Trilobite'?  I heard that!"
Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #123
The Fixer: When an Exclamation Point
Is Simply Not Enough
Reviewers are saying Trump makes a
strong case for repealing the ADA
(Americans with Disabilities Act),
the first step, he argues, toward 
making America great again.
Donald Trump's new book has already
 been translated into modern English.
Paul Ryan Prepares for Upcoming Meeting
 with Freedom Caucus
After Neoconfederate rednecks, like Marshall Leonard,
 started bombing Walmarts, the United States realized
it had an oversupply of domestic terrorists and started
exporting them overseas.
If Karl Rove was Dubya's brain, Dubya must be Jeb's brain.
"I know that I got to get better at doing the selfies."
Is Ahmed Chalabi really dead, or is he just feeding us
some more bad intel?
"Remember who you used to call 'Numbnuts'?"
'Hastert’s Portrait Vanishes from House'
'GOP Debate Talks in Disarray as Consensus Collapses'

Monday, November 02, 2015

Jeb Bush Sez: "I eat nails when I wake up!" 
[That's what the Bush family calls 'nail biting'.]
The Ben Carson Emoticon
"Hello, it's me,
I've thought about us for a long, long time."
"This isn't about what you want to do, Paul. It's about what 
God wants you to do. And God has told me, he wants you 
to be Speaker of the House."

"OK, John, but the next time you talk with God, ask Him
 how to get that smoke smell out of the Speaker's Office."
Now that he's Speaker of the House, Paul Ryan will be
able to spend more time with his Joy Buzzer.
Scarborough Blasts Mainstream Media's Liberal Bias: 
"They Are Embarrassing Themselves by Hiring  
Rightwing Nutjobs like Me"
"Yes, I was homeschooled by parents who allowed me to wait 
for the Rapture, instead of educating me. I'm still waiting."
What Senator Cruz Is Pointing Out Today #25
A Left-Wing Operative
"When I hear, 'The Grown-Ups Take the
Stage at the Debate', it really pisses me
off!  What's so special about acting like
 a grown-up? It's grown-ups who are 
wrecking the planet, not children!"
Rosenstein Sez:  "I want friend like me."