Saturday, February 11, 2017

It took Donald Trump 19 seconds to shake hands with
Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe. The Blob could ingest
 an entire human body in less time than that.
"Melania and I won't be appealing to the Supreme Court
over the travel ban, so we we won't be seeing you in
court.  Sad!"

Friday, February 10, 2017

Baby Vegging Out

Baby Vexing Out
Trump Still Under the Impression He Was Elected
CEO of the United States
Warm Scuzzies #720
Carl Higbie
You really don't want to meet Jason Chaffetz.
He's a very unpleasant humanoid.
"I have no recollection of discussing lifting sanctions on
Russia, but I can't be certain that the topic never came up.
They don't call me Brain Fart Flynn for nothing."
Separated at birth, will the Bannon Twins finally
be re-united on Saturday Night Live?

Thursday, February 09, 2017

Commander-in-Chief of the 101st Fighting Keyboarders
Escalates War on Federal Judiciary
Just in Time for Valentine's Day!
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #677
Sebastian Gorka
New Consumer Advocacy Group Formed
Empty Suit Vents ALL-CAPS Fury Against Federal Judiciary
Kellyanne Conway 'Counseled' After Ivanka Plug
Jeff Sessions Says His Landslide Victory Is More 
Tremendous Than Betsy DeVos's Landslide Victory
"Let me make one thing perfectly clear: I am not saying
what I am saying right now."
Just Whistle Dixie While You Work
Operators Are Standing By!

Wednesday, February 08, 2017

Devos? Sounds plural! If so, how absurd! There was 
only ONE Devo!
"Hope is the thing with feathers," wrote Emily Dickinson. 
"Without Feathers" is the title of a Woody Allen book. 
QED: Sean Spicer is without feathers.
"Call me Rusty and I shall unleash my
Guys and Dolls
Senator McConnell, is it possible for the 51 Republicans who 
voted to confirm Betsy DeVos as Secretary of Education 
to be impugned more than they have already impugned 
Bad high school student says he might consider ruling in
favor of Trump's travel ban, if the money's right.
Trump Knocks Nordstrom for Dropping Ivanka's Line 
of 'Made in China' Footwear
Mitch McConnell, Prominent Kentucky Hardshell
Man in Rubber Suit Threatens to Destroy 
Texas Lawmaker
There are congenital liars,
compulsive liars,
chronic liars,
habitual liars,
inveterate liars,
and pathological liars.
And then there's Donald Trump.
It is pointless to try to shame Mitch McConnell, 
for he is a shameless sociopath.
It made Trump sad there was no diaper for
emotional incontinence.

Tuesday, February 07, 2017

"Are you telling me the dog ate your rug
because it needed to regurgitate?"
Ladies and Gentlemen, Meet Landslide Betsy!
Melania Trump Inks Multi-Million Dollar 
Hand Rail Endorsement Deal
Trust and Obey, for There Is No Other Way
Sometimes Steve Bannon believes as many as six impossible
 things before breakfast.
Trump and Hannity in Laurel Land
Hey, we've seen this picture before!
Trump was upset that Sean Spicer was impersonated 
by a woman.  Just wait till Steve Bannon is impersonated 
by a mole rat.

Monday, February 06, 2017

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #676
Gavin McInnes
Fake News Media Covering Up Terrorist Attacks 
Perpetrated by Mercenary Anti-Trump Protesters
Professional Anti-Travel Ban Protesters Facing Long Lines 
on Payday
Things to Avoid #32
Whereas a garlic necklace and a
crucifix will deter Dracula, they
have no effect on Elliott Abrams.
Spicer Twins Agree Dippin' Dots Is Not the Ice Cream
of the Future
"I call my own shots, too.  Another Jägermeister, bartender!"
Dummy Shows Who's Boss
Whoever coined the expression, 'stark staring mad', 
must've had Steve King in mind.
Donald Trump Says 'Negative Poles Are Fake News'
"Men, I'm afraid the Injuns have us surrounded."