Thursday, April 09, 2015

Testy?  Yes!
Testes?  No!
Rapa Nui! Rapa Nui! Rapa Nui!
Fearguth is headed to the Easter 
Island Festival.  He'll be back
 online April 12th.
Eddie Driggers is the Chief of Police in North Charleston.
It's unfair to stereotype someone, but some people
stereotype themselves.
Democrats began to worry when Schumer started
making the Sign of Dubya.
Molly Ringwald was Pretty in Pink.  Todd Kincannon
is Pretty in Orange.

Wednesday, April 08, 2015

'No Operational Guns Allowed on the NRA 
Convention Floor'? Wouldn't 70,000 good
 guys with guns in the same place be the 
safest place on Earth?
Remember Linus and his security blanket?  Well,
Rand Paul has one, too, and you can buy a genuine
 reproduction of it for only $75.00.
Rahm Emanuel Before Being 'Humbled' by the Runoff

'The Bronysaurus Really Did Exist, Study Says'
If your eyesight is good enough to see that the Rand Paul
Eye Chart costs $20.16, you don't need one.
Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #69
Brandon Morse
RuPaul was nice, but she had a mean sister,

You've never really been poor in America until you have 
also been humiliated by Sam Brownback.
"What do you do for a living, Mr. Slager?"
"I lie.  I'm a cop."
Rand Paul Challenges Ted Cruz to GOP Creep-Off
Dickjamin Cheneyahu
Carly Fiorina says that "liberal environmentalists have 
prevented the building of a single new reservoir" in 
California.  Could that be because every river in the
 state of any significance has already been dammed?
This is the face of the Iraq War, and it's not pretty.
"What's Louie so excited about?"
"He just defeated Hitler in Wolfenstein 3D."

Tuesday, April 07, 2015

Rand Paul Sez:  "Use the Aqua Buddhist profile pic to 
show your support to your friends across the country."
Bank Robber:  "Everybody freeze! Everybody down 
on the ground!"
Marsha Blackburn:  "Well, which is it, young feller? 
You want I should freeze or get down on the ground? 
Mean to say, if'n I freeze, I can't rightly drop. And 
if'n I drop, I'm a-gonna be in motion. You see..."
Bank Robber:  "Shut up!"
Marsha Blackburn:  "Okay, then."
Contrary to popular belief, there were 41, not 40, signers 
of the Constitution.
How do you like Rand Paul's
new campaign slogan?
He had come from the future to 
Defeat the Washington Machine!
They said, "Rand Paul, if you want more 
fans, you'll have to get on the stick."
And so he did.
Dogs Waiting in Line for Big Semi-Annual Clearance
Sale at PetSmart
Why do zombies always appear in public with their arms
extended and their palms parallel to the ground?
"I am not a tattoo!"
If you were a young person, would you want to be a 
member of a party led by someone who looks like this?
Mary had a little lamb,
but not anymore.
Indiana Jesus Sez:  "Memories is the 
ideal place to get great Christian pizza.
Thanks for the Memories! Also,

Monday, April 06, 2015

Barronelle Stutzman, a Washington state florist, has
become the second big winner on the popular game show,
Who Wants to Be a Bigot Millionaire?
Gun Goes Off During Easter Church Service
 at the Cathedral of the Holy Hand Grenade 
in Altoona, Pennsylvania
Q: Should printers be forced to make ‘God Hates Fags’ 
signs for Westboro Baptist Church?
A: Only if they are followers of Gay Religion.
What Jeb Bush Was Wearing
the Day He Registered to 
Vote as 'Hispanic'

Sunday, April 05, 2015

For millennia, the idea of Infinite Regress was rejected
 because it was logically absurd.  And then it became 
the platform of the Republican Party.
While overseas, Senator Cotton developed a taste for 
Echidna in the Raw.  He says it makes a delicious 
snack when you use its beak like a straw to suck
the juices out.
"Governor Walker, your critics on the right say your face 
is skewed to the left. How do you intend to address this 
"Hey, Hucksterbee!  The Militant Gay Community is 
comin' to get yo mama!"
Rick Brattin (R-MO) is what you might call a 'Bascart
Spy'.  He hangs out in supermarkets to see if people
on food stamps are buying filet mignon and crab legs.  
So, he's introduced legislation to ban their purchase
with food stamps, along with chips, cookies, and soft
 drinks.  Rick, you see, is a Christian.
'On this Easter Sunday, never forget that Cruz means 
'Cross' and that I have the stigmata to prove it."
World's Worst Jobs #136
Japanese 'Lonely Death' Apartment Cleaner