Saturday, December 03, 2011

Something to Consider #2
Happy Feet Two is the first movie about penguins
to feature the kiddie version of Marxism in 3D.
A new study has found that men, on average, think about
sex 18.6 times a day, whereas for women the average
is only 9.9 times a day. Subjects of the study ranged
in frequency of thinking about sex from 388 times a
day (Herman Cain) to one time a day (Rick Santorum).
"Auf Wiedersehen!"
 "Au Revoir!"
"Good Widdance to Bad Wubbish!"
"We understand, Speaker Boehner, that
you're something of an expert when it
comes to turning chicken shit into
chicken salad."
Warm Scuzzies #241
Leeds, Alabama Police Department
"What do you do, sir?"
"I am the owner and operator of the Newton Leroy
Gingrich Ideas Factory."
"The dude in the elephant suit---is he one of the
ideas from your factory."
"Yes, he is."
"I see."
Buddy Roemer pretty much sums up the GOP side of the
 presidential race this way:  "I believe that Mitt Romney
 represents the one percent and I believe that Newt
Gingrich is the lobbyist for the one percent."

Friday, December 02, 2011

Scott Walker's First Amendment
"Congress shall make no law abridging the right of the people
peaceably to assemble and to petition the government for a
redress of grievances, so long as they pay $50 per hour per
 police officer required to keep a watchful eye on them."
Beauty and the Beasts
Backed by his own Army and State Department, Little
Napoleon became increasingly bellicose, making
repeated threats to deploy Poo-Poo Cushions, Joy
Buzzers, Exploding Cigars, and Fake Barf against
the mayors of Newark, Stamford, and Philadelphia.

'Women For Cain' is an online national fellowship of 999
 women dedicated to helping elect Herman Cain as the next
Studmuffin-in-Chief of the United States.
GOP Insider Sez:  “Bigfoot dressed as a circus clown
would have a better chance of beating President
 Obama than Newt Gingrich, a similarly
farcical character.”
The Politico Illustrated #16
'Mitt hits Newt'
"Let that be a lesson to you, Governor Blowsalot!"
Northern White RINO on the Verge of Extinction
"Do you want Holy Land Fig Preserves or Fruits of Galilee Pink
Grapefruit Marmalade on your Jesus toast this morning?"

Thursday, December 01, 2011

Little Known Fact #19
In 2011, President Obama has conducted 69 fundraisers
(so far), an average of one every five days.
As Patrick J. Sullivan, Jr. can now attest, if you are 68 years
old, trading meth for sexual favors from recovering drug
 addicts is not what wise men do.
World's Worst Yobs #231
Adam Carolla
Warm Scuzzies #240
American Crystal Sugar Company
If you tried to imagine the stereotype of a greedy bankster,
you couldn't equal or surpass Bank of America's CEO,
Brian Moynihan.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

For some reason, 'Joel Osteen' and 'Reality Show' refuse
to cohabitate in the same sentence.
Little Napoleon Sez:  “I have my own army in the NYPD,
which is the seventh biggest army in the world.”
Lori Klein:  Once a Virgin, Now Doing a Hooker's Work
Patrick J. Sullivan, Jr., former Sheriff of the Year, is being
held in the Patrick J. Sullivan, Jr. Detention Facility in
Centennial, Colorado, on charges of trading meth for sex.
The gods of irony have reportedly busted a gut laughing.
Take one look and you understand how lucky Emma Sullivan
 is to not be Ruth Marcus' daughter.
$2 Wafflemaker

$250,000,000 Wafflemaker
Herman Cain Attempts to Congratulate Rick Perry for
Setting New Record:  Two Gaffes in Only 19 Words

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

The Moose Are Loose and Headed Toward Palin Country
"And if I win this award, I'll have enough money
to buy the rest of my dress."
World's Worst Yobs #230
Daniel Foster
While you weren't watching, Sarah Palin has changed.
Newt Gingrich's Latest Lie: 
"I wouldn't lie to the American people."

Monday, November 28, 2011

Fox News Sez:  "We're Winning the War on Christmas!"
The Sex Addiction Epidemic:  Is It Taxable?
"I've been thinking about inventing age-specific
 pepper spray.  I believe there's a huge untapped
market for it out there."
Rightbloggers and Other
Internet Biohazards #114
Chicago News Bench
Warm Scuzzies #239
U. S. Crane, LLC
Some pols give endorsements.  As Rick
Perry will learn, Joe Arpaio gives the
kiss of death.
They were once called 'Destroyers'.  One percenters now
 call them 'Über Yachts'.  For a mere $150 mil, you, too,
can own one.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

"Come back, come back!  We were only kidding about
flying to the moon!"
"Nominal 'Black Friday' in-store riots in 2011 were up
6.6 percent from where they were the year before,
according to ShopperTrak."
Looney Towns #1
Gun Barrel City, Texas
Governor Brownback Plotting His Next Move
Against Sassy Highschool Girls
Yes, Virginia, There Is an Abominable Snowman
What to Wear When You Go
'Competitive Shopping' at