Saturday, March 01, 2014

"Yes, as hypocritical as it may sound, I believe that only
people like me who are injured in drunk driving accidents
should have access to Medicaid.  All the other uninsured 
poor people in Arkansas are just SOL."
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #547
Lawrence Lockman
USS Ronald Reagan, the Navy's First Glow-in-the-Dark
Aircraft Carrier
Recently-Declassified Photograph #36
Leader of the Gay-Stapo
Worried about the Gay Gestapo?  Relax!  Tammy Bruce 
is large and in charge.
Of Richie Incognito, Bo Jackson might have said, 
"Football is easy if you're crazy as hell."

Friday, February 28, 2014

President Obama Blamed for Biggest Deficit Drop 
Since World War II
If Cerberus Had Been a Deer
Mt. Gox Declares Bankruptcy, Goes the Way of
Mount St. Helens
"Damn!  The deacon just said there's no public restroom!"
Monkey say:  "Yes, Senator Cruz, we'll turn 
this country around."
Warm Scuzzies #450
Gator's Dockside

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #44
Josh McKoon
First, the Bad News:  "A bill moving swiftly through the Georgia 
House of Representatives would allow business owners who 
believe homosexuality is a sin to openly discriminate against 
gay Americans by denying them employment or banning 
them from restaurants and hotels."

Second, the Good News:  Gays in Georgia can buy "a 
specialty license plate featuring the Confederate battle
Senators who didn't attend the Appropriations Committee 
hearing on Alzheimer's today say they forgot.
"Is the vet in? My dog's having another 
panic attack."
“A number of data releases have pointed to softer spending, 
and part of that tuggable, huggable softness may reflect an 
increased use of Cottonelle."
"Hey, the Second Amendment doesn't have an age limit!"
Sign of the Times #50
Insanity Truther
"Better get a mop:  I'm so full of myself I'm about to
Thomas F. Barraga, a New York Republican
 county legislator, insists he is NOT a Klingon.  
But people don't believe him.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

"Americans should have the freedom to follow the teachings 
in the Bible.  So, when the Bible teaches in Exodus 2:17, 
'When a man sells his daughter as a slave, she will not be 
freed at the end of six years as the men are', Americans 
should be able to follow that."
"Yes, I'm Jeffrey Nugent, Ted Nugent's brother, but
media coverage of our relationship is way overblown."
"Anybody got any Gas-X®?"
"Ha ha, Chancellor Merkel!  I just turned you into
Hitler's mother!"

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

When Representative Steve Stockman's primary campaign 
against Senator John Cornyn struck reality and shattered 
violently, a shard struck Senator Ted Cruz in the right eye.
Like so many old haters, The Nuge suffers from 
'Banal Leakage'.
At last, he had found the pot of gold at the end of the 
rainbow.  And then . . .
And, to make matters worse, she had walked a mile 
for that camel.
If, as Tom DeLay says, "God wrote the Constitution," 
this would mean He was the author of the 3/5ths Compromise, 
whereby an African-American slave was counted, for political 
purposes, as only 60% of a person.  Furthermore, if God 
wrote it, the Constitution must have been perfect.  So why 
has He allowed this perfect document to be amended by
 mere mortals 27 times?
"Hey, I'm not stealing the Banksy,
I'm stealing the wall!"
Will the Grand Canyon State change its name 
from Arizonastan to Ugandastan?
"Sure, human sacrifice is a rather bloody affair, but we mustn't 
forget we're doing it in the name of 'religious liberty'."

Monday, February 24, 2014

Big Bigots, Little Bigots #32
Chris Mapp
CNN Takes Long Walk Off Short Piers
Warm Scuzzies #449
Efrain Rojas
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #546
Dr. Milton Wolf

Sunday, February 23, 2014

The Grim Rapper
'Walkergate' has a nice ring to it,
don't you think?