Saturday, March 23, 2013

Easter Bunny Taken Captive by Anonymous Leftists
OK, so we've got the Papas here.  
But where are the Mamas?
"Quite honestly, I don't lose a lot of sleep over whether 
it was a comet or an asteroid that drove me and all the
other dinosaurs to extinction."

Friday, March 22, 2013

Eating is sometimes a messy sport.
He simply couldn't believe the Universe is 80 million 
years older than previously thought.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Anti-Gay Michele Shocked That Michelle Shocked
 Is Not Anti-Gay
Montana Roadkill Law Allows Motorists 
to Eat the Animals They Hit
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #163
Pamela Geller, Jim Hoft, Katie O'Malley, and 
Andrew Marcus
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #482
Donna Campbell

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Old Men with Guns #5
William H. Spengler, Jr.
Wanting to smile for International Happiness Day,
 but can't because of dry, chapped, cracked lips?  
Well, maybe you should consider using some 
J&D's Bacon Lip Balm.
"Yeah, suckers, you're now aboard the 
Carnival Cruz of the Damned!"
"Ever since I was a wee tyke, I wanted 
to say 'jettison the shibboleths'.
"Honest, officer,  I've only had one drink."
Don't ask Rand Paul to say 'pathway to citizenship',
because that will make him sad.
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #481
Sheriff Joseph D. McDonald, Jr.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

PSY's Next Song Has Unfortunate Title: 
'Gangbangnam Style'
Iraq Celebrates 10th Anniversary of 
American Liberation
Warm Scuzzies #378
Old Men with Guns #4
Phillip Walker Sailors

Monday, March 18, 2013

Asked why he opposed a Multiple Sclerosis resolution, 
Senator Ted Cruz clapped his hands and said,
"Joe McCarthy warned us long ago that Multiple 
Sclerosis was caused by fluorides dumped into our 
water supply by Communists.   Obviously, we need 
to learn the lesson taught by Brigadier General
Jack Ripper in 
Dr. Strangelove and launch an 
all-out nuclear attack on Iran, North Korea, and
Harvard University." 
There was also a Noah in China who built an ark.  But,
for some reason, it sank like a stone long before it
 stopped raining forty days and nights later.
Lady Liberty and Lady Justice 
Announce Wedding Plans
Almost simultaneously, they came to the realization
that their purpose in life was to show it was possible
for Michael Douglas to become bored with Catherine
 Zeta-Jones and vice versa.
On Mondays, she just wasn't in the 
mood to play with her food.
"Mañana, Mañana 
Mañana is soon enough for us."
Little Known Fact #34
Cubby Broccoli was a regular guest on TV cooking shows
long before he started making James Bond movies.
"Hey, man, cool shades!"
"Yeah, I'm one of those Republicans who is in the
process of rebranding through pop culture."
According to the History Channel's version of The 
Bible, the Devil has a dark skin, wears a hoodie, and
looks like Barack Obama.  But the Apostle Paul said
the Devil wears a disguise that makes him look like an 
'Angel of Light'.   The Apostle must have had Dark
 Light in mind at the time.
Sarko the Giant Costs French Taxpayers $2.6 Million
 a Year; "Giants Must, by Definition, Live Large," 
Says One Expert
"Are we a corporation yet?"
Yes, there's something even worse than Chocolate-
 Covered Bacon.  Have you ever heard of the Oscar 
Mayer Deep Dish Pizza with Pepperoni Lunchable?
Think of it:  were it not for all those 'racketeering' GOP 
consultants, Rick Perry might today be President of 
the United States.
Old Men with Guns #3
Stanwood Fred Elkus
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #480
John Cooke

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Old Men with Guns #2
Arthur Douglas Harmon
John Boehner says he can't imagine supporting a gay
son's marriage.  That's easy for him to say, since
he has no sons, only daughters.
Sarah Palin Reading an Anti-Obama Teleprompter
Joke from Teleprompter with CPAC Laugh Track
Whether you're baked, smashed, or
fried, Happy St. Patrick's Day!
Vatican Lashes Out at ‘Defamatory’ and ‘Anti-Clerical 
Left-Wing’ Criticism of High Church Fashion
"Oh, Ted, if you've got the tail-gun, I've got the rack!"
"Take me, I'm yours!"
Knight Warrior, a Kick-Ass Wannabe, Gets Ass Kicked