Snickersmania!

"He said if I didn't wear my hair this way, weasels would 

rip my flesh!"

“If I win, all of the bad things happening in the U.S. 

will be rapidly reversed!”

"Jake:

Clean your room!

Love, Mom

P. S. Burn the Trump poster!"

"I never drink . . . Coke."

Theatre of the Absurd

Alaskan Wind Turbine Blamed for Compos Mentis Genocide

"Cruzocch, Cruzocch, Cruzocch-i-o,

We'll find you if we have to go to Tok-y-o!"

"April Fools' Day Definitely a Hoax!" 

Attila the Bun Proclaims

No matter how hard John Kasich tried, New Yorkers

never forgave him for eating pizza with a fork.

"As a child, my favorite cartoon character was 

Gerald McBoing-Boing, the noisemaking boy."

Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #171

New Poll Shows Trump Has Deadbolt Lock on Hoser Vote

Tuscaloosa Baptists De-Deaconize Alabama Governor

"Don't throw out yesterday's inoperative GOP loyalty pledges!  

With the Pledge-O-Matic 2016, you can turn them into the 

campaign smoothies of tomorrow!"

Not Your Father's Pain in the Ass

If Donald Trump is threatening legal action, 

the sun must have risen in the east.

Oxymorons for Our Time #181

GOP Loyalty Pledge

"There’s a very well-coordinated national media campaign 

to backlash me for signing a law which allows businesses 

to provide separate but equal toilets and water fountains 

for heteros and homos." 

Glenn Beck Sez: "I have prayed about it and I happen to 

believe that Ted Cruz actually was anointed by God for 

this time."

Corey Lewandowski, Trump's Heydrich,

Arrested and Charged with Simple Battery

Big Bigots, Little Bigots #79

Bill Kintner

There's a right way and a wrong way to eat fried tarantulas.

Things to Avoid #31

Buccalpodism

Woo-Hoo Personals #12

Trumpborg Seeks Hook-Up with Wingnut Geek for 

Some Low-Speed Acoustic Coupling

When people are constipated,

they cannot function properly.

"Eeegah, I see fish and chips!"

Peter Cottontail probably won't be back next year.

Trump and Cruz had not heard the proverb,

'No One Wins When Clowns Fight'.

Guess who's in a jam in Bama?

Republicans Want Guns in Schools 

(Home of the Well-Educated) 

But Not at Their National Convention 

(Home of the Poorly-Educated)

Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #170