Friday, October 27, 2006

Cuddles the Hippo wishes you a Happy Halloween.
Former President Saluting His Commander-in-Chief
New Figure of Speech Named in Honor of
Rush Limbaugh: the Oxycontinmoron

Thursday, October 26, 2006

With the stroke of his pen, President Bush
signed into law a bill with the most ridiculous
title since 1789: The Secure Fence Act of 2006.
Even he thought it was funny.
Little Known Fact #3
Sumo wrestlers moonlight as dumpster movers.
Mobile Mobile Phone Service Advertisement
Taj Mahal is always a big hit with the folk-world-blues crowd.
Meet Adara, the newest doll in the
American Girl Collection.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Gift Horse Refuses to Let Anyone
Look It in the Mouth
In order to maintain acceptable force levels,
the U. S. Army is reaching deeper and deeper
into the Reserves.
John McCain stores doubledealings in his cheeks
the way a chipmunk stores nuts.
Factoid of the Hour #1
Beatle Nuts who chew betel nuts have reddish teeth.
Two things you probably don't know are
(1) some people get eyelash transplants and
(2) surgeons who perform the procedure use
Personna Double Edge Blades.

Monday, October 23, 2006

"I pledge allegiance to the flag, flag, flag, flag,
flag, flag, flag, flag . . ."
It was inevitable the Church of the Flying
Spaghetti Monster would suffer schism.
Here, for instance, we see a devotee of the
Hovering Vermicelli sect.
Kenya's Robert Cheruiyot placed first yesterday
in Chicago's annual booty-scooting marathon.
Panama is so poor it can only afford the cardboard
version of the Diebold AccuVote-TSX voting station.
In your idle hours, you have probably wondered
what it would look like if 14,000 Mexicans played
chess at the same time. Well, wonder no more.
With the opening of a crapper-themed restaurant,
the Chinese have evidently decided to cut the
crap about the link between eating and crapping.
Palestinians are lobbying hard to make
'burning-tire jumping' a demonstration
sport in the 2008 Olympics in Beijing.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

"Ay, caramba!" exclaimed Brazil's President.
"Who let this face-eater in?"
World's Worst Jobs #7
Iraqi Used-Car Salesman
Industrial Secrets #1
How They Manufacture Caviar
"See! I told you Lars' Dimples of Venus
were nothing special."
Before Luke Skywalker there was Luke Skycrawler.
"Mr. President, those reporters were just kidding
when they said I was a better obfuscator than you.
There's no question you're the best."