Saturday, July 13, 2013

Sonny Thomas, Ohio's Great White Dope

Boeing 787 Nightmareliner

Friday, July 12, 2013

"DOJ Official Leaks Info on Leak Guidelines"
"Mr. Geithner, why would anyone pay you $200,000
for making a single speech?  Are your jokes that
Warm Scuzzies #410
Bob Filner

Thursday, July 11, 2013

"Would everybody please stop torturing John Boehner's 
inexistent conscience?  Thank you so much for under-
standing its inexistence.
Harry Reid Sez:  "Is there anybody out there in 
America who thinks the Senate is functioning well?"
[Careful!  This may be a trick question.]
"Rand Paul Stands Behind the Southern Avenger"
"Jodie Laubenberg seems to be having 
another bad hair day." 
"Aren't you being a bit too kind?"
"Well, yes.  Quite honestly, her whole head 
seems to be out of whack."
Leaders of Ten Rural Colorado Counties Meet to Plan 
51st State Called 'North Moronica'
Greedheads Galore #32
David Koch
North Carolina House of Representatives Set to Vote on 
Bill Requiring Doctors Who Perform Abortions to Wear 
Motorcycle Helmets
For teaching a course one day a week at the 
City University of New York this fall, David
Petraeus will be paid $150,000.  Were he
paid what the average adjunct professor 
receives for teaching a three-hour course,
Petraeus would be paid $2,987.  Obviously,
when it comes to grifting, David Petraeus
has Sarah Palin beat hands down.
Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #143
Shoes Made by Peach Cobblers

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Time to pop open a bottle of Shiner Kosmos
and get metaphysical.
Rand Paul Battle Flag
Backslappers with Dirty Faces #6
Bob Seitz
Warm Scuzzies #409
Gogebic Taconite
Rick Perry Trying to Remember the Third Reason He
Should Run for President in 2016

Tuesday, July 09, 2013

"So, when did it finally dawn on you that you really
aren't Clayton Moore?"
The Day Rick Perry Finally Came 
Out of the Closet
Warm Scuzzies #408
Bulletproof Securities
American Schutzstaffel #27
Even when George Zimmerman winks, 
it's in self-defense.
Judging from the way he embraces his wife these days,
Governor Perry not only is not running for re-election
in 2014, but also is not gunning for re-erection in 2013.

Monday, July 08, 2013

Warm Scuzzies #407
Judge Teresa Counts Burke
Rick Rubin's beard claims it does
most of the work.
Rightbloggers and Other 
Internet Biohazards #139
Canada Free Press
Rick Perry Sez:  "From the moment of conception 
until the moment of birth, Texas is a place where we
 defend life."
[These Texas 'defenders', like Perry, cut and run 
after life begins ex utero.]

Sunday, July 07, 2013

Rafael Cruz Expresses Desire to Go Mano a Mano
with Fidel Castro
"Dysfunction Junction, That's Our Function"
Governor Walker Signs Bill Requiring Transvaginal 
Ultrasounds on the Condition That He Gets to Watch
So what if Ted Cruz can sing 'Amazing Grace'
 to the tune of the theme song from 'Gilligan's
 Island'! Rand Paul can hum 'Das Feste Fundament' 
to the tune of the theme song from 'Fantasy Island'!
According to a new study, those who stimulate their brains 
have a rate of cognitive decline 15% slower than those
who don't.