Saturday, January 24, 2009

Neighbors Give George W. Bush Family
Warm Welcome to Preston Hollow
Rush Limbaugh's Hearing Loss Attributed
to Years of Wearing Loud Ties
Where Bad Little Piggies Go
It wasn't so much that Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg was
passed over to replace Hillary Clinton in the Senate that
so stung the Kennedy clan. It was that Tracy Flick was
chosen instead.
Barack the Magic Negro Turns Rush Limbaugh into
Hugo Chavez Supporter
In America, everyone is presumed innocent until
proven guilty, except Two-Face and Congressional
The Unexpurgated Bible #20
"And again I say unto you, It is easier for the First Family to
go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter
into the kingdom of God."
One would think President Obama could find someone who
is not a defense-contractor lobbyist, like William Lynn, to
be Deputy Defense Secretary. But to think that way would
betray a fundamental lack of understanding of the
military-industrial complex and how it works.

American Empire #42
National Security Secrets
"Hee, hee, hee! Stop, stop! That tickles!"
Rush Limbaugh Punished for Saying,
"We Have to Bend Over, Grab the Ankles"

Friday, January 23, 2009

The next time you hear someone pissing and
moaning about an episode of 'projectile vomiting',
tell them to remember Jackie Bibby.
"Did you see my name on the Forbes list of 'The 25
Most Influential Liberals in the U. S. Media'? Of
course not! The whole point of that list was to
create a red herring to throw everybody off the
scent of who really calls the shots in the media."
World's Worst Yobs #71
Bill O'Reilly
Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941? No, the arrest
of Rod Blagojevich on December 9, 2008.
It has been confirmed that John Thain can
walk, chew gum, and spend $1.2 million
redecorating his office, all at the same time.
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #3
Jim Bunning
"See, I don't look a bit like the Wicked Witch
of the West, do I?"
Were Victor Frankenstein to build a monster which
would be the stereotypical 'Republican Fat Cat', it
would look just like Rush Limbaugh, wouldn't it?
Q: How many Democrats does it take to replace
a New York Senator?
A: First determine how many Aggies it takes to
change a light bulb, then multiply times two.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

The Politico Illustrated #7
"Obama flashes irritation in press room visit"
The Potrzebie Prize #9
Chief Justice Receives Plaudits for
Original Understanding of the
Presidential Oath of Office
World's Worst Yobs #70
Brent Bozell
I Remember Dubya #2
When he learned how to interlace his
fingers, Dubya believed everybody
ought to know how to do it.
Sully Refuses to Give Hitch Tongue; Hitch Assaults
Sully with Salmonella-Tainted Peanut Butter Sandwich
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #2
David Vitter
Rush Limbaugh Joins Ayman al-Zawahiri and Osama
bin Laden in Hoping President Obama Fails
New President Passes First Test of Greatness,
the Illegible Signature
"Good grief! Who the hell threw their bubble gum
on the pavement way out here?"
Former French President Chirac Hospitalized
after Mauling by His Clinically-Depressed Poodle
What a fine day it was---no news, just rainbows.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

New Breed of Hurdlers Attempting to Turn Sport into
Track and Field’s Most Barrier-Free, ADA-Compliant Event
Lefty Occupies White House, Gives Wingnuts
Reverse Twist
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #1
Chris Buttars
Fratricides Together
"Can you believe how crowded it was
at Obama's inauguration? Those
Americans must be absolutely insane!"
Yes, the circle will be unbroken.
By and by, Lord, by and by.
That last inaugural ball must've been a doozy.
Grandma Obama was so proud. She had a right to be.
I Remember Dubya #1
By conservative estimate, the city of Dallas will
spend over $1 million a year to provide security
for the George Bush mansion in Preston Hollow.
Like a bad penny, Dubya will keep on turning up
for years to come.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

"Down with up! Up with down!
Death to tweeners!"
"Yes, dear, it's hard to imagine why anyone would want
to drop 20 kilotons of neoconservatives on Tehran."
When in Mogadishu, it's OK to ask an insurgent why
trees are growing in the middle of the soccer stadium.
Just ask VERY politely.
"I don't want to alarm you, sir, but the last time someone
ignored the gorilla's request to turn off cell phones and
mute iPods, all hell broke loose."
"Bye-bye, Dick! So glad to see you go!"
Senator John Cornyn (R-TX) Delays Confirmation Vote
on Secretary of State-Designate, Makes Move to Succeed
George Bush as the Lone Star State's Emptiest Suit
Her eyes had seen the glory of the coming of Obama.
As his final act of madness, the outgoing
Vice President pretended he was FDR.
Barack Hussein Obama,
44th President of the United States
Because of a pulled back muscle and in a show of support
for his former chief of staff, Vice President Cheney will
attend today's historic inauguration aboard this stylish
and functional Senior Scooter.