Saturday, October 23, 2010

"I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to remove your Lucha Libre
mask before entering the polling place."
Researchers still don't know what to call stick insects when
they get tired of walking and just sit around.
"If you're elected to the Senate, Ms. Angle, will you 'woman up'
by burning your Social Security card, by refusing to accept
$174,000 a year in taxpayer-funded salary, by rejecting
government health benefits, and by declining to be enrolled
in the Federal Employees' Retirement System?"
"G'night guys!  It's been one hell of a party!"
"My fellow Iraqis, I'm holding a Browning
Hi-Power which George Bush will wrest
one day from my cold, dead hand and put
on display at SMU."
I Remember Dubya #41
"Don't forget, America!  I kept you safe for eight years
and led the Texas Rangers into the World Series!"
"Why is Andrew Breitbart flapping his arms and
saying, 'Buack! buack! buack!'?  Does he think
he's a chicken?"
"Yeah, but with a big difference:  he's the only
chicken impersonator who's boycotting NPR."
"Justice Thomas, I understand you once considered
entering the priesthood.  Since then, have you ever
 wished you had?"

Friday, October 22, 2010

Reinhard Pferdmann Accused
of Exaggerating His 5th SS
Wiking Panzer Division
Military Record
Rightbloggers and Other
Internet Biohazards #72
Classical Values
"I know it might scare you to hear a black man say that
violent revolution is on the table.  But it's OK because
I'm a Republican."
Johnny Rotten Apple
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #239
David Barton
Sarah Palin Going Roquefort
Greedheads Galore #3
Joe Ricketts
To help soothe his hurt fee fees, Fox News
has just awarded Juan Williams a 3-year,
$2 million contract.  The line will form to
the right for those of you hoping to be the
next to suffer the indignity of being sacked
by NPR.
The good news is that the 53 miles of Invisible Border Fence
between the U. S. and Mexico built so far only cost $19
million per mile.  The bad news is that it doesn't work and
there are 1,947 miles to go.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Was it Barbara Eden's 'Muslim Garb' that
made Juan Williams nervous, or was it,
perhaps, something else?
William Fulton, owner of Drop Zone Security in Anchorage,
Alaska, wants you to know that even though he looks like
a thug, acts like a thug, and talks like a thug, he's not a thug.
Rude Rhymes #33

Plum Scary

Bob Perry
New York to Soon Be Overrun With Stink Bugs
That Smell Really Bad When Scared by Bedbugs
March to Keep Timothy Noah Alive Called Off
Due to Lack of Satirists
"Madam, are you a member of the Freedomworks Tea Party,
the 1776 Tea Party, the Tea Party Nation, the Tea Party
Express, the Tea Party Patriots, or, are you just fond of
teabagging in general?"
Hillary Clinton After Hearing Christine
O'Donnell Admires Her
Now that he has been fired by NPR, Juan Williams can, at
last, let his inner bigot run naked in the rain on Fox News.
Clarence and Ginni Thomas's Favorite Band

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Rightbloggers and Other
Internet Biohazards #71
Washington Examiner
"Have I told you the story about how my involvement in the
civil rights movement in the 1960s resulted in the loss of
the full use of the middle finger I depend on when I express
my opinion of the NAACP?"
Clarence and Ginni Make It Official:
They've Become a Corporation!
"Better get a move on, K-Lo, or you'll be late for the
Fatcat Summit in Palm Springs."
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #81
Stephen Green and Robert Stacy McCain
'Drunken' Gene Found, Wife Really Pissed
Dan Riehl, Glenn Reynolds' Attack Dog, Gears Up for
Battle with Conor Friedersdorf

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

"OK, ma'am, so you're opposed to erecting a mosque
near Ground Zero.  How about a pyramid?  You look
like you might be old enough to be in favor of that."
Fan of Orval Faubus Gets Dislodged in Time,  
Ends Up in New York City in 2010
"You are probably wondering why a member of the U. S. House
of Representatives is standing here holding a bicycle pump. 
Well, I'm also a Dallas Republican and a member of the Tea
Party Caucus.  Now, doesn't what I'm doing right now make
a lot more sense?"
"Hi, I'm Paul Gottfried, and you've probably
never heard of me.  That's my problem."
Sarah Palin criticized Maureen Dowd. Then Paris Hilton
criticized Perez Hilton. Next thing you know, everybody
had jumped naked and were sitting around criticizing
each other.
No Procrastinators Allowed!
"Sorry, soldier, you're no match for Mao. 
"Some of you may be wondering why my hair always looks like
I've just taken a roll in the hay.  Well, it's like this:  there's a
lot more hay in New York City than most people realize."
Who You'll Meet If You Try to Enter Joe Miller's Past
Last Known Fan of Cat Mother and the All Night Newsboys
Found Unplugged by Aimlessly Wandering Pakistani
It's not 'No Comment', Jack;  it's 'No Questions'.  Freedom
of the Press to these despots-to-be means:  we speak, the
press, which exists only as a megaphone, transcribes what we
speak, and the people listen respectfully and obediently. 
'Questions', these authoritarians will tell you, are
unconstitutional, not found in their Bill of Rights. 
Poll Finds D.C. Elites Tepid to Tea Parties,
Warmer to Brown Bag Parties
Jimmy McMillan, Gubernatorial Candidate for
the 'Rent Is Too Damn High Party' in New
York, Throws Down the Gauntlet; Will
the Reverend Bob Dobbs Pick It Up?
"Good golly, 'Hydraulic Fracking' really
turns me on, too.!"
"To all you Independents out there in Centrist America,
we salute you!"
Joe Miller Says East Germany Can Be Model for Border
Security;  "Berlin Wall Very Effective in Keeping Illegal
Aliens Out of West Germany," He Adds