Saturday, May 21, 2011

For Sale: Cheap
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'Like New'
How Banana Republicans

Judgment Day Turnout Much Smaller Than Expected
If the Bachmann-Santorum GOP dream ticket doesn't materi-
alize, maybe Plan B could be a Michele Bachmann-Bradlee
Dean GOP wet dream ticket.
"Bibi face,
You got the prettiest little Bibi face
There isn't another one to take your place
Bibi face
You got my heart a jumpin'
You sure have started something.
Bibi face,
I'm up in heaven when I'm in your firm embrace
I didn't need a shove,
I just fell in love
With your pretty little Bibi face."
"I think my problem is that I do have the fire in my belly.
I have that fire in my belly.  But yes, the fire in the
belly? It's there!  And so, does anybody have any
Governor Haley Preaching to the Choir Invisible

Friday, May 20, 2011

Katy Perry doesn't want to be looked at.  So, unless you wish
to be thought a 'lookist', please move along because there's
really nothing worth seeing here.
Not everyone lives like Osama bin Laden did in Abbottabad.

Scum (skm) n. 1. A filmy layer of extraneous or impure
matter that forms on or rises to the surface of a liquid or
body of water. 2. Refuse or worthless matter. 3. Slang
One, such as a person or an element of society, that is
regarded as despicable or worthless. [Don Blankenship
is scum.]
Just moments before, he had looked so distinguished.  And
then he opened his mouth and was laughed out of the room.
Newt and Callista Gingrich Officially Inducted
into the Glitterati

Thursday, May 19, 2011

"Keep building, Mukesh.  I can still
smell the hoi polloi."
"Tell me, Big Baby, are you Pro-Life or Pro-Choice?"
Imagine writing a whole book with
the title of Subversion, Inc.  How
could you sleep at night, knowing
that you were not only being sub-
verted, but that the subversives
were also incorporated?  Sub-
versive corporations:  pretty
damn scary!
Who in his or her right mind would wear
cowboy boots with 'Come and Take It'
emblazoned on them?  No one.  But
then there's Rick Perry, the Governor
of Texas, who hasn't been in his right
mind since he graduated from Texas
A&M in 1972.
"Governor Barbour, as the most illustrious member of the law
firm of Oink, Grunt, and Squeal, how do you explain the fact
that there are currently no scions from the South running 
for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination?" 
World's Best-Known Stoner Unendorses World's
Least-Known Republican, and Everything Changes
Action Figures Sold Separately
"Don't lay any of that 'Shorter Matthew Vadum' blogstuff on
me!  Were I any shorter, leprechauns might start looking
down on me and stop making shoes and leaving pots of
gold at the end of rainbows."
"I've flown around the world in a plane
I've settled revolutions in Spain
The North Pole I have charted,
But I can't get started with you."
After Adlai Stevenson, it was downhill
all the way for eggheads.
"Tell me again, Ms. Geller, how you like
your eggs."
Lest we forget, it was Representative Darrell Issa, a billionaire,
 who spearheaded the recall drive that made The Sperminator
the Governor of California.  Isn't it amazing what a shitpile
of money can do?
Governor Perry Chooses USS Texas as Arrière-Garde to
Blast Lone Star State Back to the Nineteenth Century
"Something wicked this way comes!"
"For God's sake, Rihanna, do NOT
turn around!"
Richard Vedder dares you to look him straight in the eye.
Big Oil, Little Senate
"A lesser person could not have survived the first few min-
utes of the onslaught. But out of the billowing smoke and
dust of tweets and trivia emerged Gingrich, once again ready
to lead those who won't be intimidated by the political elite."
Conan Challenges Trump to Comb-Off
Young Man Ready to Defend His Constitutional Right
to Keep and Bear Flags
After hearing that coffee cuts the risk of prostate cancer,
he wasn't taking any chances.
San Francisco to Vote on Circumscription Ban

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Would it be premature to dream of a Bachmann-Santorum
GOP ticket in 2012?
I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing in Perfect Harmony
'Free Citizen on a Free Highway' Arrested for Driving Car 
with Badly-Drawn Homemade License Plate
Even with a knife and gun, the short fat old man couldn't
keep hotel maids from laughing at him.
Boy with Magnetic Personality Hopes to
Attract Girls, Not Cutlery, When He Gets
"Any ad which quotes what I said on Meet the Press last
Sunday is a falsehood, because I have said publicly those
 words were inaccurate and unfortunate, spoken while I
was being cruelly subjected to enhanced interrogation
 techniques by David Gregory."
GOP Biker Elite See Daniels as 2012 Savior

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Yes, even the Eight-Fold Path leads to a dead end.
"I am no longer a member of the Gang of Six.  I am now a
member of the Gang of One."
"Sure, I know John McCain was a
POW for over five years.  But, when
it comes to knowing how torture works,
his experience can't compare to my
'Google Problem'. 
Where in the Constitution does it say that members of the
House of Representatives, like Michele Bachmann, have
the right to use Twitter? It doesn't, does it?
Head of International Mofo Fund Told to Zip Fly
Snake on Gadsden Flag Apparently Tired of Tea Parties