Saturday, December 03, 2016

Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #84
Charlie Kirk
A Trumpnik Manifesto
"I'm feeling like my end is near."
Trump's Heydrich Sez:  "Four more years, four more years!"
"I'll have the Lobster Thermidor aux crevettes with a Mornay 
sauce, served in a Provençale manner with shallots and 
aubergines, garnished with truffle pâté, brandy and a 
fried egg on top and Spam."
[Pairs nicely with Annoying Orange Julius.]

Friday, December 02, 2016

Eric Trump Headed to an 'Ugly Trump
Wearing an Ugly Trump Sweater' Party
Is it a fact there is a penis museum in Iceland? Well,
if Trump says there is, there is; but if Trump says
there isn't, there isn't.
"Did you ever wonder Mandrake, why I only drink 
branch water, rain water? And only pure grain alcohol?"
"Stop calling me a 'snowflake'.  I voted for Trump!"
"What makes you think Kellyanne is a witch?" 
"Well, I looked at her face and it turned me into a Mook!"
Warm Scuzzies #717
Michelle Herren
"There’s no such thing, unfortunately, anymore, as facts.
Oops, sorry, I meant to say 'fortunately'."
World's Worst Yobs #372
Chris Younce
In order to bring coal jobs back, the Trump Administration 
strongly encouraged Americans to buy coal-fired Stanley 
A Tale of Two Headlines
[In October 2009, the unemployment rate
was 10%.]
"Is it true, Mr. Trump, that the reason you wear such 
long red ties is because it makes it easier for you to find 
your tiny little pecker?"
Trump Rally in Cincinnati, 
December 2016

Hitler Rally in Nuremberg, 
September 1937
Although the capacity of the U.S. Bank Arena in Cincinnati
is a bit over 17,000, there were many empty seats last night
when Trump began his 'Thank You' tour.  Hitler, by
contrast---now he really knew how to throw a rally!
Damn That Climate Change Hoax All to Hell!
Does anyone know offhand what brand of Stripper's Pole 
will be installed in the White House?
Trump drained the swamp, rescued this Alligator Snapping 
Turtle, and made it his Secretary of Defense.
General Sherman said, "War is Hell." General James
Mattis said, "War is a hell of a hoot." Guess where 
America is headed.
Trump and his coterie of septuagenarians 
are just reliving their childhood days when 
they listened to Let's Pretend on the radio.

Thursday, December 01, 2016

Here's how Trump 'brings back jobs': Indiana taxpayers
must give $7 million in corporate welfare to keep 1,000
jobs from moving to Mexico.
"Somebody will say, 'Oh freedom of speech, freedom of 
speech.' These are foolish people. We have a lot of foolish 
[At last count, there were 65,152,112 'foolish 
people' who voted against Trump.]
Dr. Koop Sez: "Please be advised that constant
stooping to attack Donald Trump can throw
your back out."
The Politico Illustrated #51
'Roger Stone to write Trump campaign book'
Before you burn this flag, you need to remember you
paid $3.15 + 50¢ shipping for it on Amazon.
What Happened to Tony the Tiger After He Was Laid 
Off by Kellogg's Because of the Breitbart Boycott
Trump Thinking about Starting a
Transportation Company to Rival
Privatize Medicare! Thin the herd! The old and sick only 
slow us down as we hurtle down the Highway to Hell!
What? Can it be true that Breitbartians have become 
Cereal Killers?
Now that Breitbart has declared war on
Kellogg's, what is Larry Solov going to
do without his Pop-Tarts®?
"Call the Trump Administration 'Little Anthony & the
Imperials' one more time and I'll wish you away to the
Whether at 20,000 feet or in the storm sewer,
it's the same nightmare.
Donald Trump reportedly buys Orange GLO™ by the barrel.
"If thou wouldst be one of the Immortals, 
thy hat must be one for the ages."
"Kellyanne, baby, you really light our fire!"
"Careful, boys, I wouldn't want to burn your flags!"
You don't see many coal-fired Volvos on the
road these days.
Froot Loops Declare War on Froot Loops

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

It's OK to roll your own, but if you smoke them,
you may lose your citizenship and end up in
"My motto is, to quote Steven Wright, 'Eagles may soar, 
but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines'."
Trump's Cabinet of Oddities and Quirks
Two Populists Waiting for Their Smack Ramen to Be Served
Erik Telford Doing His Popular
Mr. Creosote Routine
Stephen Mnuchin Sez: "When Mr. Trump said he would drain 
the swamp, he didn't say he wouldn't keep the alligators."
Like Little Egypt, Mitt Romney walks, he talks, he
crawls on his belly like a reptile.
"So, you're boycotting Froot Loops, eh? You must really 
hate Kellogg's."
"No, Breitbart."
Popular Anti-Romney Lobby Gets 
Radical Makeover