Saturday, July 03, 2010

Local Hunter Disappointed to Learn There's a
'No Bows-and-Arrows-in-Bars' Law in Virginia
Have you accepted Zippy into your life yet?
Warm Scuzzies #91
Bill Keller
"Ahhh, I can never get enough of that Miracle Whip!"
exclaimed the masochist. "Lash me again!"
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #183
Rachel Brown
Don't tell anybody, but this Tea Partier is actually
a conservative Republican in disguise.

Friday, July 02, 2010

"So this is life, eh? And the alternative is
even worse, you say?"
When life gives you lemons, you can either be an optimist
and make lemonade, or you can be a pessimist and
squeeze lemon juice in your eyes. It's your choice.
"The last person out of the closet is a rotten
egg, er, bisexual male!"
"I just performed a proctological exam on the framers
of the Constitution, and you won't believe what I found.
Yes, I found their original understanding of all those
words today's activist judges like to interpret."
What It's Like to Work at the Washington Post These Days
Is Michael Steele the gift that keeps on giving, or the
gift that the 99¢ Store won't take back? The answer
to this question depends on whether you're a
Democrat or a Republican.
"If George Walker Bush ranks 39th among U. S.
Presidents, just above Franklin Pierce, where
do you think that puts you on the scale of Vice
Presidents? Before you answer, Mr. Cheney,
remember your heart."
Ugly Dog

Uglier Dog
"Yes, I'm an American spy. How else would I know there
are only 50 members of Al-Qaida in Afghanistan?"
"Have you ever considered a career
as a Russian spy?"
Warm Scuzzies #90
Democratic National Committee
Sign of the Times #11
"And neighbor, when you stop by for a quick
fill-up, tell 'em you just stepped off Tony
Hayward's yacht!"
Welcome to Phoenix, Decapitation Capital of America
Senator Hatch will oppose the Kagan nomination
because the nominee does not meet his standards.
Thank God for small favors!
"Arizona GOP Utility Commission Candidate
Wants to Cut Off All Utility Services to Homes
with Undocumented Immigrants"
Afghanistan War Independence Day Pyrotechnics
Extravaganza Will Burst with Science, Art, and
"I told you I wear an extra large, dammit!"
Standing Half Nelson
Standing Full Nelson
What a Real Man Eats for Lunch

What Lindsey Graham Eats
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #58
Floyd and Mary Beth Brown
Oxymorons for Our Time #45
Deficit Reduction

Thursday, July 01, 2010

Carnivores Protest Kagan Nomination
Blowout Preventer Fails, Barton's Republicans
Fall to Democrats, 13-5
"Some people have a propensity for calling you
'Boss Hogg'. Do you know what that term means?"
"Boss Hogg?"
"No, 'propensity'.
Can't decide what to have for breakfast?
How about potted meat on toast?
World's Worst Yobs #173
Joel Stein

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

"Go easy on the bad carbs, buddy!
I'm on the South Beach Diet."
"The bad news is that I'm getting older. The good
news is that everyone I despise is too."
Asian Leopard Giving Serious Consideration
to Career as Hypnotherapist
Every indication is that Mike Huckabee is ramping up
for another run for President in 2012. Remember what
happened when he ramped up in 2008?
"Halloween isn't until October 31, Sharron,
so you can take the mask off."
Nearly-Naughty British Wit
Smoking Gun
"Jeffrey Goldberg is a rigorous reporter who writes
beautifully and is fiercely honest, just like me."
"Sure, I suck," the baby said. "Didn't everybody?"
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #182
Kenneth W. Royce
"Yes, doctor, it's when Michele started talking
in her sleep about the U. S. withdrawing from
the global economy that I realized she needed
professional help."
Big Mouth Burger

Gaping Maw Burger

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

If your boss tells you that he sees the 'big picture'
and you don't, it's because he's in it and you're not.
Oxymorons for Our Time #44
Reputable Journalist