Saturday, May 05, 2007

Mexican Canine Blockade Broken by Chihuahuan Airlift
Ernie Els had always been told that the SAP logo on his cap
and shirt stood for Systeme, Anwendungen und Produkte.
But it suddenly dawned on him one day that it might stand
for something more intuitive.
Don't be surprised if you someday find your portrait
 hanging on Dustin Hoffman's wall.
Daniel Pehrson, Founder and President of the Pennsylvania
Firearm Owners Association, currently holds the record for
bagging the most Domino's Pizza delivery drivers in a single week.
World's Worst Yobs #8
Chris Matthews
Mark Halperin, late of The Note, says, "I don't mind if
people blog -- but they should apply high standards of
journalism." If they don't (or won't), he adds: "The best
solution is for serious consumers of news to write letters
to the editor." Asked what writing instrument these
consumers of news should use, he says he favors the
Conway Stewart Limited Edition Plymouth Pilgrims
Fountain Pen (street price: $1,869).
As the soldiers were burning the marijuana, the wind
suddenly shifted toward Mexico City.

That's when the motorcycle cops started acting all funny and stuff.
El Mariachi Loco Posing with Members of
Los Hermanos Mora Arriaga

Paris Hilton Heads to Jail to the Tune of
'Turn Out the Lights, the Party's Over'

George Walker Bush As a Child

Have you ever wished you could shake water off the
way a horse does? "Neigh," you say?

Friday, May 04, 2007

Anti-Immigration Protester Deported for
Apostrophe Smuggling
Apache on the Warpath

While it's true Alexandra Gurin has lost her balance and
is about to crash and burn, you have to admit she's doing
it with élan.
God was so boring He even put James Dobson and
George Bush to sleep.
As is obvious in this photo from Cretacic Park,
Evo Morales, the President of Bolivia, has violated
the rule, "Do NOT Feed the Dinosaurs."
Today was to be the big showdown between the Black Hats
and the White Hats. So it was more than a little
when he showed up bareheaded.
"What's this 'quid' shit, Your Highness? If you want to buy
my hat, you'll have to pay in good old American wampum."
The Dingbat in the Hat

Thursday, May 03, 2007

"That's right, young lady. Your gown makes you look like
a big helping of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese. Yum, yum!"
"To tell the truth, Jerry, I couldn't spend $400 on a haircut,
even if I wanted to."
"Hi, I'm Li Hong, and I'll be your server this evening.
Today's special is pizza. Are you ready to order?"

If you are one of those folks who enjoys living in the spotlight,
you may well find this creation from Viktor & Rolf irresistible.

Cane Toad

McCain Toad
Q: What is black and white and red all over?
A: Ann Coulter with a sunburn.
Björk Dressed As Jackson Pollock's Dropcloth
"Jeez, that moustache is such an obvious fake!"
"He ain't heavy, he's my homie."
"The red lights flash first, Mr. President, then the
 white lights.  Why this is so is the subject of intense
 debate among my buddies, but I'm inclined to 
accept it as one of life's little mysteries."

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Debbie Schlussel,
the Ugly Ann Coulter

"And as you know, my position is clear --
I'm the Master and Commander Guy."
To tell Ninel Conde was a singer, all you
had to do was see her powerful lungs.

When Liu Cen said she was head over heels in love,
she meant it.

Jelena Jankovic Executing One of the Most Difficult
Moves in Tennis: The Crotch Shot
"When I see," wrote Thomas Sowell, "the worsening
degeneracy in our politicians, our media, our educators,
and our intelligentsia, I can't help wondering if the
day may yet come when the only thing that can save
this country is a military coup." Then, putting down his pen,
he attempted to commit suicide by swallowing a whole bottle
of Pepto-Bismol.
World's Worst Jobs #36
Indian Truck Tire Unloader
Cat Finds Asphalt Shingle Roof Not So Hot

Half-Hearted Russian Nationalist
Your field guide collection won't be complete
until you acquire this title.
There's nothing quite so satisfying as eating a
deep-fried starfish-on-a-stick.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

The hat had worked just fine for her until the time came
for spring migration. That's when she understood why
the design was called 'Fly Away Home'.
Wenderson Arruda has learned one of life's most
important lessons: "When uncertain, when in doubt,
run in circles, scream and shout."
It was obvious he had 'Champion' written all over him.
No Woolgathering Beyond This Point
"I'm made to look ridiculous just so some candyass
hiker can wear a pair of Dahlgren Dri-Stride Socks?
Sheesh, we alpacas get no respect!"
"Wow, Mr. President, I see that your right testicle has finally descended."
"Did you know, Pete, that I have a pair of cammie
jammies just like yours?"

President Bush is quite fond of Mother Pucker's
Wild Persimmon Pudding.