Saturday, April 27, 2013

"Being a Supreme Court justice is easy.  Riding a
bicycle is hard."
"Don't Breitbart me, bro!"
Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #80
Curse of the Crazy Mama
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #491
Andy Holt

Friday, April 26, 2013

Mark Sanford Loses Debate with Cardboard
Image of Nancy Pelosi
Authorities Puzzled Why Adam Savader Never Tried
to Blackmail Ann Coulter with Nude Pictures
Buena Vista Township, Michigan Clerk Apologizes 
for Being 'Arrogant Platko'
Alex Jones Falls into Tsarnaev Brothers Plot Hole

Thursday, April 25, 2013

"I want a new conspiracy theory
One that won't make me sick
One that won't make me crash my car
Or make me feel three feet thick

I want a new conspiracy theory
One that won't hurt my head
One that won't make my mouth too dry
Or make my eyes too red

I want a new conspiracy theory
One that won't go away
One that won't keep me up all night
One that won't make me sleep all day

I want a new conspiracy theory
One with no doubt
One that won't make me talk too much
Or make my face break out."
The Cheney Room in the George W. Bush
Presidential Center
Some faces could stop a clock.  Others, like Steve 
Kush's, scream, "I AM THE GOP!"
When we saw the headline, 'Former Ryan Intern Arrested 
in Nude Photo Scheme', why were we not surprised?

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Mormon Bishop Scares Off Attacker 
with Sword of Moroni
Warm Scuzzies #388
Adam Savader
Stacey Campfield Bombs in Tennessee

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

"So sorry I look so gaudy, but my everyday skin is
at the cleaners."
World's Worst Jobs #132
Nepalese Well Digger
In terms of Aristotle's philosophy, this
banana peel has not yet actualized its 
potential to become a key player in 
one of the world's most famous jokes.
While the rest of the world was rocked by wars and 
revolutions, Texans were celebrating the new line 
of Whataburger Condiments, now available at
Blank Slate #13
Top Stories from April 23, 2013
"What's Better for You:  Running or Walking?"
"A Grand Unified Theory of Mad Men"
"Does Janelle Monáe’s New Song Address 
Her Sexuality?"
"Help!  My Husband Is Scandalized by My 
Post-Breast-Feeding Bust Size"
The Unexpurgated Bible #88
"And, behold, when the End comes, an
 infant child shall yawn and inhale the 
entire Universe."
NATO Soldier in Afghanistan Loses Way,
Ends Up in Colorado
Sean Hannity Said to Be Out of Danger
Following Emergency Coulterectomy
CNN’s John King Embarrassed by Boston 
Reporting, Will Be Called 'John Peasant' 
From Now On
Max Baucus to Retire
Mystery solved!  Dzhokhar Tsarnaev admits that he 
and his brother stole Saddam Hussein's Weapons 
of Mass Destruction and used several of them in 

Monday, April 22, 2013

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #490
Chris Nogy
Warm Scuzzies #387
Republican Party of Benton County, Arkansas
Oxymorons for Our Time #152
Seasoned Pundit
If you wish to determine the age of Chuck Grassley's
face, it helps to think in terms of geological time.
World's Worst Yobs #284
Michael Pakaluk
Greg Ball (R-NY) Believes Tomás de Torquemada Has
a Lot to Teach America in the 21st Century
Richard Simmons reminds us that today is Earth Day.
"Mrs. Witherspoon began to hang out the window and 
say that she did not believe that I was really Ross 
Douthat. I told Mrs. Witherspoon to sit on her butt 
and be quiet."

Sunday, April 21, 2013

21st Century Schizoid Man Gives Big Shout-Out
to New George W. Bush Presidential Center
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #489
Rick Green
Issur Danielovitch (the Movie Star Formerly
Known as Kirk Douglas)
Pat Robertson Captured on Film Communicating with
Gang of Three